


All That I Need

by aliceecrivain



Category: X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies)
Genre: (discussed but not shown), Alpha!Charles, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Modern: No Powers, Anal Sex, Curtain Fic, Established Relationship, Fisting, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Mpreg, Knotting, M/M, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Omega!Erik, Porn with Feelings, Rimming, Sex Toys, Watersports
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-03
Updated: 2018-02-14
Packaged: 2019-03-12 22:44:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 46,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13557159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aliceecrivain/pseuds/aliceecrivain
Summary: Over the years Charles has gotten used to the cyclical nature of Erik's heats and has even (admittedly) been known to look forward to them. Erik's own consternation toward the event remains undeniably present and unchanged, but it's nothing Charles hasn't learned how to handle with as much grace as possible.However, right from the start he can tell that this time around things are not going to be so simple.





	1. the night before

**Author's Note:**

> (recently and tentatively taken off private although it might go back depending on reception lol)
> 
> I've been sitting on this one for quite a few months for many reasons. I'm still sort of hesitant to post it because of the subject matter of the thing. It sort of got more questionable than I'd originally meant for it to be during the process of writing it rip.........
> 
> Still, there are parts of it that I do like and want to share. For all intents and purposes it is a mating fic, cut and dry, just the two of them going through a heat together with a little bit of plot thrown in here and there for flavor. I wanted to write consensual omegaverse and try my hand at alpha!Charles/omega!Erik so that's really what this is (read: entirely self-indulgent).
> 
> Please do mind the tags and if you're not interested, by all means steer clear. If you are, I hope that you enjoy.

i.

“My next heat’s soon.”

Charles pressed his lips together, took a second to parse that. He hadn’t really needed to be told, as it were. He could smell it on Erik the second he’d breezed through the door, arriving home from work, placing his things in their appropriate places as he went, nonchalant as ever. The way Erik said it was offhand, the same way he spoke when noting the appearance of a new grocery store closer to their home. He didn’t seem to be looking for any response from Charles either. He acted like it wasn’t news, as though Charles being given a few days to prepare wasn’t the norm or even bare minimum.

But that wasn’t new. Erik was always like this about his heats, always had been. Charles had known it going in, but that didn’t keep it from being disgruntling each time it happened. Charles thought sometimes that Erik must get at least some pleasure out of the withholding of that particular information until the last possible second. (Frankly, this was a decent amount of time comparatively. He’d simply gone into heat without saying a damn word on more than one occasion.)

Charles knew that wasn’t the whole story however. Erik had a strange relationship with his nature and specifically with his heats. He was too proud to go on heat-suppressants, averse to repressing a natural part of himself, but it was never something he looked forward to. It was a lack of control that bothered him, or at least that was Charles’s understanding. Erik hated the primal-driven state omegas slipped into when in heat, how he had to rely so completely on someone else, the baseness of it all.

Charles did his best to understand and to modify his behavior accordingly, the best he could at least. Rut wasn’t any easier to get ahold of oneself in, but he fought the good fight for Erik’s sake. Even if he knew where they would end up three days or so in, the beginning and the end could be bent some.

In any case, because of that, Erik tended to put up this blank-faced façade in general when discussing the topic. He acted like a doctor, giving a diagnosis to a patient. It was very clinical and all business as usual. Charles went along with that as well though he usually tried to eke out the details after the fact.

“How soon is soon?” Charles finally asked. Erik continued to shuffle around out of sight from where he was seated on the couch, having been doing some grading. As much as he wanted to turn around, he stayed where he was, playing along with the balancing act. He knew it would settle Erik some if he acted just as disinterested, whether or not that was really the case.

(Really his mind was spinning through the hundred or so things he needed to do to get ready for this whole event, but he’d have to deal with those later.)

“You tell me.” The couch decompressed slightly as Erik sank down next to him, stretching his long legs out in front of himself and letting his head hang over the back of it. He looked tired, Charles thought, and tucked the observation away for later, but the motion also made it so his neck was bared. On purpose, of course.

Charles could smell him from across the room, so he had no issue catching his scent now, that warm, telling musk. Charles clenched his jaw, trying to gather himself so he wouldn’t start drooling or doing something equally idiotic. It was difficult when he was hit with the full brunt of Erik’s pheromones like this, when he wasn’t really expecting it, especially when Erik was looking like _that_ in prime position for marking. The long curve of his neck was always a temptation, but like this it was almost unbearable to stay where he was, keep the distance between them.

Erik’s cool, sharp gaze flicked over to him knowingly. Charles felt incredibly tense and probably looked quite “textbook-alpha” as Erik liked to put it. Charles huffed, tearing his gaze away and back to the papers in his lap. They seemed propped up a little further than perhaps they had before, but there was nothing to be done for it.

It at least got a wry smile out of Erik which Charles couldn’t help but return. Erik tilted his head further, let his eyes slip closed again. “Go on. If you’re going to salivate over me, you should at least make yourself useful in the process.”

Charles bit back a retort. Erik’s tone was more playful than incendiary and, truth be told, it was beyond him to refuse the invitation. So he set his papers aside and crawled closer to Erik, moving so he could press his nose right under the edge of his jaw and scent him. He had to fight to exhale normally rather than in a groan. Erik smelled incredible, sweet and so close to his heat Charles could almost taste it. ( _And fertile_ , some small voice in Charles’s brain he could never quite squash entirely pointed out. It was right, of course, under the masking, dull smell of the birth control Erik _did_ take willingly, Erik was virile as ever, but Charles did his best to not give it too much thought.)

Charles nosed up further, up behind his ear, pressing into his hair, breathing in deep again. He couldn’t fight the growl that came from deep in his throat. His body knew what was to come and was already in the midst of hasty preparations for the event. Erik’s scent was always a drug to him, but particularly like this. He nipped at the soft skin under his teeth before nuzzling at it.

He felt hands pushing him back gently and forcibly detached himself so he wouldn’t start rutting against Erik’s leg. Yanking back, he turned away, trying to get some clean air back into his lungs, feeling flushed and stupidly aroused. Erik was smirking at him, far too full of himself as a result. “Well?”

“Less than a day,” Charles grumbled, wiping at his nose as if that would help, as if he could do anything other than ride the high he’d gotten from just that small bit of contact. “Tomorrow sometime for sure.”

The nearness of it made him panic considering how unprepared he was, per usual. Charles did his best to focus on that and not on his smug, preening mate (how he always managed to spin this into more of a crisis for Charles in the beginning than it was for him, Charles would never know). Any other day and he’d be seconds away from bending him over the coffee table, but they’d soon have time for precious little else. Already Charles could see the way Erik was shifting around on the couch cushion, responding to the act where he normally was amused at best and disinterested the rest of the time in Charles’s scenting.

No, he had to get ready and that meant leaving Erik to his own devices, no matter how badly he wanted to do exactly the opposite. So, completely in spite of himself, he moved to set his papers aside and get on his way.

“Want some help with that?” Erik asked, not moving a damn inch, just staying stretched out on the couch, lounging like a cat. Charles didn’t miss the way his thighs parted when he adjusted slightly. He waved a hand to indicate what Charles could only assume to be his erection.

Charles shot him a look. They were going to have to have a talk about playing fair when all this was over. “You’ll have your chance soon enough, love,” Charles replied as casually as he could, continuing along, over to get his coat.

He knew it was a worthwhile shot to have taken when he caught the way Erik’s eyes darkened in response, anticipatory.

“Anything in particular you want?” Charles asked, as if he were going on a normal grocery run, going to tie his scarf around his neck.

“Nothing you can get at the store,” Erik shot back and Charles really shouldn’t have started this because it wasn’t helping at all in his quest to appear publicly decent. Erik really was damn close if he was talking like that. “But we needed more eggs last time I checked the fridge.”

“Noted,” Charles mumbled back, grabbing the last of his things and preparing to flee before he allowed Erik to draw him any further in.

ii.

“Really?” Raven demanded, her voice coming in tinny through the phone speaker which was currently crushed against Charles’s ear, the device being held up with only the precarious support of his shoulder as he made his way through the aisles of the grocery store, pushing his increasingly heavy cart. “I swear he plans it somehow. Every time we manage to schedule a nice dinner for all of us together this happens. I swear!”

Charles couldn’t help but crack a smile at her insistence. It did sort of seem as though that was the case, even if he knew that Erik’s heats were rather erratic in terms of their timing. “I’m sorry, Raven, but there’s nothing to be done for it. We can’t exactly control them.”

Raven sighed a long-suffering sigh. “This is what happens when your stupid brother likes a challenge instead of a normal mate who takes heat-suppressants or lets a guy know more than twelve hours ahead of time.”

Charles felt a spike of annoyance at the insult toward Erik. He knew Raven had a point, had been thinking something along the same line earlier, but it was different hearing it voiced by someone else. (Especially when he knew that he shouldn’t have been thinking it either, and didn’t, really, when stress was factored out of the equation.) “It’s his choice, Raven. I’m not going to police him. Neither of us can say anything. We don’t know what it’s like.”

Raven sighed a heavier, even longer-suffering sigh. Charles went back to inspecting the strawberries in front of him, fighting back his urge to reprimand his sister further. He knew it was the pre-heat hormones that were making him overly defensive and that Raven was being at least somewhat facetious, overdramatic simply because she could. “Yeah, yeah, sorry. I know how it is. Doesn’t make it any less annoying for me or anyone else. Have you called Moira or Hank yet?”

It was Charles’s turn to sigh. “No. They’re next on my list.”

“At least I still hold a little rank,” Raven muttered. “Well, thanks for letting me know I guess.”

Charles didn’t see how he could not, but he figured the thanks had been cursory more than anything else. “Talk to you in a week or so. Remember you can always call if there’s an emergency. I can always hear and reach the landline.”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m sure I can manage for a week. Don’t knock him up.”

“Raven.”

They ended the call soon after and Charles left the produce section finally, biting back a smile. It was sort of amusing that this kept happening. It was the fourth time or so in a row that they’d ruined a perfectly good dinner invitation and he had a feeling Raven was going to drag them out, heat or no heat, next time. He knew how badly she’d been wanting the four of them—him and Erik, and her and her current partner—to go out together for some time. He thought it’d be nice too, but the universe clearly thought otherwise.

He headed over toward the eggs, not looking forward to next call nearly as much.

Moira was a patient woman but she was never pleased with his last-minute ducking-out-to-laze-about-for-a-week-buggering-his-unfairly-handsome-mate-and-pretending-to-be-sorry-about-it routine as she put it. Still, there was nothing to be done for it. He’d let her meet Erik a few times and that hadn’t caused her to budge much in her opinion. (“You’re not expunged from all guilt just because he looks like that.”). She was used to it, sure, but that didn’t mean he didn’t get an earful every time it happened.

Ultimately he decided he’d be better off waiting until he was finished to take on that particular hurdle. He texted a few other people in the meantime who might miss him, tried to nudge a couple colleagues toward the idea of picking up some of his lectures while he was gone and talked to Hank while he waited in line to check-out. For it being late on a Thursday, the store was strangely busy.

“Got it,” Hank replied, cutting Charles off halfway through his announcement. He was never one to want any extraneous detail when it came to that sort of thing. Charles thought more than once that it was exceedingly lucky that Hank had been born a beta considering his squeamishness toward the whole process. “I’ll work on the cultures while you’re gone.”

“Alright,” Charles agreed, inching forward in line and getting a knowing glance from some bloke in the line next to his, having looked at his cart, that he didn’t much appreciate. “Sorry about this. You know how it is.”

“It’s fine,” Hank insisted too quickly before going back to logistics.

Charles talked research with him until he was back at his car. “I think you’re set Hank. I have to call Moira still.”

Hank winced audibly as Charles popped open the trunk to begin loading it. Night had fallen in the time he’d been inside and the late November winds were unforgiving. He was eager to get back to shelter. “Good luck.”

“Thanks.”

Once he was finally safe within the warmth of his car, Charles took another moment to pause and pray. Then he finally rang up Moira.

“No way,” she demanded as soon as she picked up. Charles cursed internally. He needed to start calling her at strange times for other reasons so she wouldn’t know so immediately what was happening when he made one of these calls.

He sighed. “I’m sorry, Moira. Erik—”

“Unbelievable,” she groaned. “How long?”

“Tomorrow—”

“Unbelievable!”

Charles laughed for lack of anything better to do. “Must we do this every time? There’s nothing I can do about it.”

“You could leave him,” Moira suggested dryly. “And _yes_ , every time. If I don’t you’ll start thinking this is okay, which it’s _not_. Do you know how much I’m going to have to scramble to get your all your lectures covered in time? It’s almost finals season, Charles!”

“I know,” Charles sighed, leaning his forehead against the steering wheel and feeling exhausted already. “I’m sorry, Moira.”

“In all seriousness, Charles, you know how much trouble this causes, don’t you?” Moira asked, quieter, still stern but in a way that insinuated real consequences.

Charles sat back up, running a hand through his hair. “Yes, of course.”

“I’m going to have to stop you from taking on so many classes if you can’t be responsible for them,” Moira informed him.

Charles frowned, hating the sound of that. He loved his research but he loved teaching even more. Still, she had a point. “I’ll…try to talk to him about it.”

Moira scoffed. “I’m sure that’ll go well.” There was some violent typing in the background. “Well, have fun on your week off while the rest of us slave away and take our vacation time on a schedule.”

Her tone turned more humorous toward the end and Charles could tell her iciness was fading slightly. She was his superior, but she was also a friend, even if she had to act otherwise sometimes. She took her job seriously and Charles could respect that. He knew this really was a pain in the ass for her to deal with. “I’m sure I will.”

“Bloody smug bastard,” Moira grumbled, clacking angrily a bit more. “Go on then. Lord knows both of us have better things to be doing than talking to each other at the moment.”

She had a point. “Goodbye, Moira.”

The phone call cut off in his ear.

Charles let out a long breath of relief, glad to be done with it. All that was left now was to go home, put away the groceries, and wait. He hurried to do that, having been distracting himself with all the mundane tasks he had to do so he wouldn’t think about it too much. Now there wasn’t much material left to use. He started the car and headed off home, fairly certain he’d forget the minor annoyances caused by the start of Erik’s heats sooner rather than later.

iii.  
  
“Raven says you’re conspiring to cancel her dinner plans with the timing of your heats,” Charles called as he went about stocking their fridge. He supposed the bright side of this happening consistently was that he knew with a good amount of certainty exactly how much food they needed to get through the week without needing to think about it too much.

That drew a snort from Erik who had moved from the couch to the table and was perusing the newspaper idly, paying to no mind to the ridiculous amount of pheromones he was giving off or how much effort Charles was putting into staying focused on his task rather than staring at him. (His hair was still slightly damp which meant he hadn’t done _absolutely_ nothing while Charles had been gone at the very least, even if he was acting like it.) “At least they’re good for something.”

“Hank says hello,” Charles continued, emptying out the last bag.

Erik hummed. “I suspect the lovely Dr. MacTaggert’s wishes weren’t so polite.”

Charles smiled, shooting Erik a disapproving look over his shoulder. “She’s not happy, no.” This was probably the best chance he’d have, when Erik wouldn’t think he was bringing it up on purpose. “I think she’ll probably keep me from taking so many lectures next year at this rate. She seemed pretty serious about it.”

Erik was silent. Charles didn’t look at him right away, finishing his task instead and hoping he hadn’t done something too stupid in pointing it out. It was a sensitive topic and right before a heat was probably one of the worst times to be discussing it. The last thing he wanted was to start a fight, but that appeared to be what he’d done.

“She can’t punish you for something like that,” Erik said coolly.

Charles turned finally to face Erik who looked far less amiable than before. If he was going to go for this, there was no turning back. In for a penny, in for a pound. “Well….actually she can. Since it affects the whole department.”

Erik’s eyes flicked up to meet Charles’s and he scowled. “Do you really want to have this conversation right now, Charles?”

 _Not really_. “No point in putting it off,” Charles pointed out, crossing the distance between them so it wasn’t so much of a stand-off. He pulled out the chair next to Erik’s, sinking down into it, and stretched out his legs, crossing them at the ankle and setting his feet down on top of Erik’s. That seemed to throw the other man off slightly at least. “She has a point. It’s probably only fair that I not take on so much.” It was a little manipulative, maybe, framing it like that, but he would need all the help he could get if he was going to gain ground here.

That made Erik truly frown. “That’s ridiculous. She can’t stop you from teaching over something so stupid.” There was more venom in _stupid_ than there probably ought to have been and it almost made Charles want to back down, but he decided to soldier on.

Charles caught Erik’s eyes, gave him a knowing look. It was more appeasing than anything else. “It’s not stupid, Erik. It’s part of both of our lives. It’d just be a matter of me taking on more independent projects. It’s one thing to put a little bit more on Hank’s shoulders for a week and another to not be around when a great deal of people are relying on me, including students.”

Charles could see the muscles in Erik’s jaw tighten and he slapped down his newspaper, refusing to meet Charles’s eyes for a few seconds. Charles immediately felt guilty since he could see something like shame underneath the anger simmering closer to the surface of Erik’s expression. Maybe he should have left this for a while, when the topic wasn’t so fresh.

“Is this you trying to insinuate I go on suppressants?” Erik spat, looking up again, gaze viciously sharp. It took years of experience in dealing with how passionate and powerful Erik could be to hold steady. “Because your subtlety is a bit lacking tonight.”

Charles frowned, reaching out to set his hand on top of Erik’s, squeezing around his palm. It was encouraging when he didn’t pull it away, although he shot Charles a look as though he knew what he was doing and wasn’t about to fall for it. “Of course not. I know how you feel about that. I would never force you to do something that so entirely alters your natural physiology. It’s your choice to make.” It was a little insulting that after all these years Erik would still be wary of it, but he supposed there was nothing to be done about socialized expectations of behavior, especially between mates.

Charles did his best to keep an open dialogue between the two of them, but some things tended to fall into the cracks and this was certainly one of them. Erik didn’t like to talk about it and Charles didn’t like to push if he didn’t have to. That was probably what had led to this situation in the first place. He sighed, squeezing tighter at Erik’s hand, trying to gather his thoughts.

“I know how you feel about your heats, or at least what you’ve told me,” Charles said, quick to correct himself, determined to get this right. He glanced up to catch Erik’s light eyes again, look at him directly, as an equal, as he saw him. “I hope you know that I don’t see them as a burden or as an opportunity to take advantage of you. I take care of you, yes, but I do it because you’re my partner. I know you’d do the same for me.”

Erik returned the sigh, his face smoothing. Some of his initial anger appeared to have dissipated. “Charles, I don’t see—”

“Let a professor get to his point,” Charles insisted, cracking a smile. He was rewarded by Erik rolling his eyes like a teenager stuck in detention being lectured. It seemed as though the mood and conversation could be salvaged after all. “It’s not something I want you to feel ashamed about telling me, or telling yourself for that matter. Even just a couple of days of warning would do it.” Erik’s eyes had dropped back down to the table to where their hands were joined, but he seemed to be looking through it. Charles gave another squeeze, ran his thumb over the ridge of his knuckles. “Give it some thought.”

Erik gave a small nod and that was enough for Charles. He really did think it was a matter of Erik not wanting to deal with it until he absolutely had to. The whole process seemed to annoy him until they were in the midst of it, but it would probably all be less dramatic if they took the time they needed to get ready for it.

Nonetheless, Charles felt a somewhat triumphant at having successfully broached the topic. It was strange to feel so stilted talking to Erik when usually the words came easily in a way they didn’t with anyone else. It pushed Charles to get up and relocate to Erik’s lap, pressing up against him and slotting their mouths together. He kissed him hungrily, a foretaste of what was to come. It wasn’t like heats were all doom and gloom after all.

Erik responded well, his hands drifting down to grab at Charles’s ass and drag him closer, grinding up against him. Charles could smell how quickly he became aroused, how the need for this was already making itself known, rushing hot in his blood. After a long moment, he pulled back, pressed his lips near Erik’s ear. “We’ve got more important things to worry about right now anyway.”

Erik let out a shaky sigh and Charles gave in, letting himself bite right under his earlobe, more a playful nip than anything else, but still enough for Erik to feel it. Erik’s head tilted, giving Charles better access and he nodded again, slowly. “We certainly do.”

When Charles pulled back Erik was giving him that same dark, hot look from earlier and part of him thought that there might not be such a thing as starting too soon, but he forced himself to not do anything too rash. As tempting as this period of pre-heat was when both of them were getting riled up from the increase in pheromones, doing too much too soon could lead to exhaustion later on. It was better to wait if possible, until they couldn’t stand to wait any longer.

Instead he kissed Erik again, slower, sweeter, tasting him thoroughly. Erik seemed to take the hint, calming as well and keeping his hands steady. This time when they broke off, Charles forced himself to his feet unsteadily, putting some distance between them. He almost wanted to stop looking at Erik all together. He felt a bit as though he couldn’t wait another minute to have Erik if he kept looking like that, flushed and gorgeous and willing. He wasn’t quite mindless yet, wouldn’t be for a while. There was a gleam in the other man’s eyes that let Charles know that Erik knew what he was doing.

He often got like this pre-heat, a little more overtly sexual than usual. He went through moods like that outside of his heats which were immensely arousing, but they were unpredictable, mercurial as Erik always was. With this, however, there was something of a pattern. Once Erik got over the initial irritation of having to deal with the process in the first place, he resigned himself and appeared to decide to make the most of it. Charles thought that was quite a winning attitude indeed and a sentiment he could stand behind.

All that resulted in this, with Erik openly wanting, not hiding his desires in the least, pumping out those addictive hormones of his, eager to the point of being predatory. It made it incredibly difficult to leave off until his heat arrived properly and drove Charles absolutely mad.

Still, someone had to be the voice of reason and unfortunately during these weeks it was often his turn to pick up that role. Focusing on banal tasks had worked before so he tried for that again. “I think I’m going to throw some food together so we have it for later this week.”

Erik blinked, shaking himself slightly. He gave yet another nod, then shook his head. “I’ll do it. You went out shopping already.”

Charles eyed him suspiciously. “Is this just you getting out of eating my cooking?”

The faux-innocent look he received in reply was simultaneously offensive and amusing. “I’ve improved a great deal, I’ll have you know.”

Erik stood, wearing that smirk of his again. “As your unwilling test subject and begrudging teacher I’d like to think I know better than anyone else. You’ve definitely improved, but going from likely-to-cause-adverse-health-effects to edible isn’t saying much.”

Charles scoffed at him and slapped at his hip as he brushed past in retaliation. That earned him a nice, deep laugh from down in Erik’s chest which Charles couldn’t help but enjoy even as he scrunched his face up and put on a scowl. “You’d best watch that mouth of yours before it gets you into trouble.”

“That’s the idea,” Erik replied smoothly, throwing a sultry look back over his shoulder from where he was conveniently bending to peer at something in the bottom of the fridge.

Charles bit hard at his cheek. _No one man should be allowed this much power_.

iv.

Charles ended up taking a shower while Erik set to cooking. Thinking back through it, he thought the whole conversation had gone rather well. He’d need to follow up, probably after they got their heads back on straight, but it was a start. He was glad the mood between them had softened back into something familiar and warm.

Truthfully, he did enjoy Erik’s heats somewhat. It was impossible not to. As much as he agreed with Erik that one’s nature really said nothing about who one was outside of some biological processes, spending a heat with one’s true mate was like nothing else in the world. He loved having Erik to himself for a week, spending it twined together, as close as possible. Maybe it was a little base, since it mostly consisted of fucking like animals for days straight, but Charles thought it was also about connecting, mind and body.

Erik would probably inform him that he was just trying to justify thinking with his cock with pretty words and esoteric nonsense, but Charles really did feel that way. He liked knowing how it would go, too. He liked being familiar with the tide that was Erik’s sexuality and nature. He liked getting ready for it together, knowing he would be able to go downstairs to Erik who was most likely still in the process of cooking, lounging about in only a soft t-shirt and sweatpants that left very little to the imagination. He liked making it so Erik enjoyed himself throughout it as much as he could, liked taking care of him, and well, maybe that was a bit “textbook-alpha” but Charles couldn’t help it. Erik was so strong, so independent that he hardly ever let himself be cared for, even when he needed it. No one could go through this life entirely on their own, and Charles was constantly trying to convince Erik that relying on him sometimes was okay.

Raven and Moira’s comments from before grated on him slightly the more he thought about them, still thinking back through the night as he rinsed out the soap from his hair. Sure, Erik could be difficult, but the last thing Charles would want him to do was change. He loved him as much as he always had _because_ he was defiant, headstrong, unashamed of who he was no matter how it contradicted what other people said he should be. He was impossible to ignore, or at least he had been for Charles, and probably always would be.

He would put up with all the insults to his cooking and minor inconveniences in the world to stay by his side. Charles felt as though he couldn’t be luckier, and that wasn’t just the hormones talking.

He reached to turn off the shower, realizing that none of this was really helping him keep a clear head. He’d have plenty of time to obsess over how wonderful a mate he had soon enough and wouldn’t miss the opportunity to tell Erik so. It was one of the times he was most likely to take the words without putting up too much of a fight and of that Charles did take full advantage.

Charles finished cleaning up and threw on a pair of sweats himself before heading back downstairs. The kitchen did smell significantly better than when he’d left, partially because Erik was still there, but also because Erik was a surprisingly good chef. He’d always been more adept at practical skills than Charles in any case, good at cooking and general house upkeep.

He was standing in front of the stove, stirring something, seeming relaxed. Methodical tasks did that to him, settled him somehow. As it was, seeing him in his element, Charles couldn’t help but sneak up behind him and wrap his arms around his chest, pressing close against him and setting his nose back up against the nape of his neck, right under his bond mark. This time Erik only chuckled. “Did the cold shower not do anything for you?”

Charles hadn’t taken a cold shower, though in hindsight that probably would have been a good idea, but he played along anyway. “Not a thing, I’m afraid.”

Erik only hummed and kept stirring, reaching to turn the burner down. “This is almost done. Just needs to simmer a while.”

Charles nodded, slipping a hand down so he could dip under Erik’s t-shirt and run his palm up the flat planes of his chest, his skin warm from standing so close to the stove. “You probably have a bit of time to kill then, don’t you?”

Erik arched back against him, gave off another good wave of pheromones, and Charles thought _to hell with waiting_. “Yes, I think I do.”

Charles got Erik bent forward over the island in record time, yanking down his sweats and sinking to his knees behind him. Erik groaned and made no protest, only spread his legs apart, stepping out into a wider stance to give Charles better access. Then it was Charles’s turn to groan. Seeing Erik spread open like this it was impossible to not overlay memories of him dripping with slick, worked open and ready constantly, his hole slack and begging to be filled. _Soon_ , Charles thought, _soon_.

He ducked in, licking a long stripe up over that small, pink hole, unable to help himself. He felt ravenous for the taste of Erik’s slick. He loved licking it up, cleaning him between knots, making him groan and squirm from the teasing sensation. He grabbed Erik’s ass in the meantime, holding it apart and kneading at the cheeks, lapping insistently between them.

Erik slumped up against the counter, his breathing speeding up almost immediately. He pressed back against Charles, probably wanting more though Charles would need to resist giving it to him. This was enough for now, enough to tide them over but not push too far.

Charles tugged Erik closer to him, mouthing at his entrance and pressing against the notch with his tongue as if he could draw the taste out quicker that way. He paused only so he could pull Erik back further, readjust so he could get a hand around the heavy weight of his cock, hard and hot and lovely. Charles squeezed around him, enjoying the feel of him like this, so easily aroused, before he focused back on his ass.

Ordinarily Erik wasn’t so keen on letting Charles eat him out. Charles rather enjoyed it no matter when it happened, but it usually took some coaxing. As far as he could tell, Erik did like it and Charles had even managed to lure him into kneeling up over him while he did it a couple of times before, but it was either embarrassing or frustrating to him initially. He didn’t seem to have an issue with returning the favor, so Charles couldn’t quite understand. In any case, having Erik give in to it so easily was wonderful. He responded so well, arching his back and pushing back against Charles for more, groaning low in his chest and shifting his weight from foot to foot.

Maybe he just didn’t like Charles slobbering all over him which was certainly what was happening at the moment. Charles couldn’t help it when Erik smelled the way he did and looked like _this_ , spread out just for him. Maybe it was placebo, but Charles did think he could already taste his slick. It wouldn’t be long before Erik was dripping down his thighs and into his mouth if he got down beneath him like this, wet enough push his cock in whenever he wanted, wet enough to even get his hand in if he was in the mood. Charles groaned at the notion and pressed harder up against Erik, dragging his teeth over the rim of his hole and bringing a shaking hand down to palm at his own erection where it was aching within the confines of his trousers.

Erik broke his relative silence then to whine out a rough, “ _Charles_ ” which spoke to him being much closer than he normally would have been from so little. Still, it would only get worse as time progressed. Charles felt the same, burning hot and painfully hard, as though he’d been practicing abstinence for a month instead of pushing Erik’s legs up over his head less than 48 hours ago. That in mind, Charles went back to the task at hand, pressing his tongue into Erik’s now-slack hole, marveling at how well he took him, reaching back to take hold of Erik’s cock again, working it with purpose.

Erik growled, bucked his hips, squirming beneath him. Charles pulled back to bite at one of his ass cheeks in an attempt to calm him down—truly a poor attempt if he’d ever seen one—before returning again to press and rub his lips against Erik. It didn’t take much more of that, just Charles tugging steadily at his cock and licking over and over again up the length of his perineum to his hole before Erik was stilling and shooting off all over the side of the counter. Charles worked him through it, daring to press the very tip of his thumb inside of him meanwhile, yearning for the hot grip of his body around him.

It would be horribly easy to just stand up and mount him. Erik would probably let him. It wouldn’t be difficult with how slack Erik had gone.

But he resisted, instead reaching down to finish himself off quickly with his hand. It didn’t take long at all considering the lovely view he was still being presented with. He groaned when he came, trying to catch most of it in his hand so as not to make a bigger mess. He pressed one last kiss up against Erik’s entrance, now slick and swollen slightly from the attention, before standing up unsteadily to rinse off his hand at the sink. He returned immediately after to drape himself over Erik who hadn’t moved, kissing at the notches of his spine that poked out when he stood hunched over like this. Erik sighed when he did, turning his head and then twisting completely so he was facing Charles.

Charles supposed he shouldn’t have been too surprised when Erik pressed his nose up under his jaw and started to scent as well. He wasn’t much a fan of it outside his heats, but even he took to it in the midst of them. Charles let Erik do it, tilting his jaw up to make it easier on him. He was rewarded by a string of breathy little moans Erik gave as he snuffled along and went to return the favor, pressing into Erik’s hair and breathing deep.

“God,” he groaned. “You’re so close. Might even start sometime tonight.”

Erik nodded in silent agreement, reaching down to grab at Charles’s ass again, hitching him up closer. Charles let his hands drift down as well, back to Erik’s hole, still wet from his ministrations. He pressed at it, tugging at the rim. “Soon you’ll be nice and slick for me, hm? Then I’ll fuck you as much as you like, knot you, fill you up again and again…”

Erik groaned at that and leaned down to catch Charles’s mouth, kissing him messily.

They both jumped half a foot in the air when the doorbell rang, snapping back into reality and to their senses from where they’d lost them before. Charles blinked, trying to shake himself into coherency, taking a step away from Erik who at least didn’t try to follow, working instead to right himself and pull his pants back up, grumbling about being bothered at night under his breath.

Charles glanced between the two of them. Erik definitely looked more fucked out, and, overprotective or not, Charles didn’t really like the idea of Erik getting the door so close to his heat. So it looked like it would be up to him, not that he looked much better. He was sure he smelled, in spite of having just taken a shower, and didn’t look decent at all, but he tried to adjust himself anyway, make the best of it.

There was no getting out of it when an urgent knock followed the ring. Charles sighed, giving Erik’s hand a quick squeeze and leaving him to gather himself, before he set out, planning to hide behind the door as much as possible.

When he saw who it was Charles wondered what he’d done wrong in a past life to be punished so. There was nothing to be done though. He doubted he’d be left alone until he opened the door and dealt with the issue, so he did, still peeking out from behind it.

“Moira?” he asked, wishing his voice had come out a little smoother. “What are you doing here?”

Moira scowled at him immediately, not cutting him any slack. She brought a hand up to cover her nose and mouth while she was at it. Charles let the door swing open, figuring it was a lost cause. “Already? I thought you said tomorrow.”

“Did you need something?” he demanded, feeling a little strained.

“Why else would I have drug myself over here and risked having to smell this?” Moira lamented. “I came to pick up the papers you brought back here to grade. I figured some of them need to be done or handed back within the week.”

Unfortunately she had a point and while he didn’t really want to bring her inside the house at the moment, he thought it would be incredibly rude to leave her out in the cold while he rushed around and gathered them. He glanced her over, all bundled up, here so late to cover for him, and felt his ire lower some. “Of course. Would you like to come in?”

Moira seemed to sense the change and dropped her hand, raising a quizzical eyebrow. “Is that okay?”

“It can’t smell much worse than me in here,” Charles pointed out. “So the only thing you’re probably sacrificing is your nose.”

Moira shivered. “I’d rather tough it out for a few minutes than freeze my ass off out here.”

Charles gestured her inside and headed back toward the living room. “Moira’s here! She’s come to pick up some papers!” he called to Erik who he hoped had remained decent—or as decent as he could be—in the moments he’d been gone.

The gesture made Moira look a little nervous, but Charles soldiered on, peeking around the corner momentarily to insure that yes, Erik was dressed at least. He still looked somewhat like he might have just been eaten out over the kitchen counter, but there was only so much that could be done.

Charles kept going and Moira followed accordingly, stepping carefully into the space and glancing around warily. The look on her face spoke to him having been incorrect about assuming his smell would even begin to rival Erik’s, but she bore it well. “Hello, Erik.”

“Moira,” Erik replied, watching her cautiously as ever. Another time Charles thought he’d probably start up what would end up being a thinly veiled argument (he and Moira didn’t get along all that well, although they had a strange begrudging respect for one another and appeared to enjoy their little spats more than one would expect. Charles thought it was that they were too alike in temperament and too different in everything else), but presently all he did was turn to start stirring the stew again, closing the conversation without another word.

Moira’s eyebrows raised but she didn’t question it further. Charles hurried to start gathering the papers together so he wouldn’t do something stupid like stare at Erik’s ass or try to step in Moira’s line of sight.

It was all very awkward, Charles noted, having someone he worked with on a daily basis standing so close to where he’d just had his nearly-heating mate bent over so he could lick him open. He doubted Erik had had the time or presence of mind to clean his spunk off the side of the counter either. Since Moira was his friend too, it was also somewhat hilarious. He was sure he’d never hear the end of it once all this was over.

“I’ve been trying to stay on top of it at least,” Charles said, stacking what he’d brought to do that night together and handing it to Moira before heading off toward the office, away from where Erik was still standing steadfast with his back to them. Moira followed after him as if pulled.

Once they were in the new space, Moira fixed him with another glare. “Can’t smell much worse than you my foot,” she hissed at him. “Just get the papers before I suffocate. I couldn’t care less how graded they are.”

Charles coughed out a laugh, unable to help himself and did as he was told. Moira made a beeline for the door as soon as he did and he hurried after her. She took a comically deep breath once she was back outside. “Sweet freedom.”

“That’ll teach you to do your job,” Charles joked.

Moira slapped at his arm. “It’ll definitely teach me to assume you two have any restraint whatsoever. Jesus, it’s been less than two hours since you called me. Did he really start that quickly?” Charles was working out how best to answer that when Moira shook her head. “No, don’t tell me. I don’t want to know. Still, it damn well smells like he did. No wonder you’re constantly trying to skip out on work.”

Charles knew it was a joke, but he couldn’t stop the warning look he gave Moira. She was quick to hold up her hands. “I’m not trying to steal him from you. He’d never take me in a million years anyway. I’m just saying I have two eyes and a working nose. I think I’m finally starting to understand what you see in him.”

Charles shook his head at her when she shot him a mischievous little smile she only rarely wore but which made her look quite a bit younger when she did. Under all the bureaucracy and strong work-ethic there was a dirty sense of humor that Charles liked to see pop out, although usually not in relation to his sex life. “Thanks for coming,” he finally said, just a little eager to get her to leave already. “And for covering for me.”

“Again,” she reminded him.

“Again.”

She sighed, but didn’t look too angry. “You’re welcome, but you really owe me this time. I’ll leave you to it. I can tell you want me to get out of here already, so I’ll see you in a week.” She turned and waved the stack of papers at him as she went.

“See you,” Charles agreed and fought very hard not to slam the door. Having successfully completed that task, he trudged back to the kitchen to collapse up against the counter, letting out a heavy breath. Erik turned after a few long moments, catching his eye.

Charles wasn’t sure which one of them started it but it was difficult to stop afterward. Within seconds both of them were in near hysterics, laughing themselves to tears over the ridiculousness of what had just passed. Charles doubted there was much to be done for it. As far as he could tell, every heat was a new adventure waiting to happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is all written already so it'll go up pretty quickly, I suspect. In the meantime, thanks for reading~


	2. day one

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick posting schedule note: I'll probably be putting this up pretty quickly since it is already finished, like I said before. The only thing posting will depend on is a final attempt at proofreading by me, so expect frequent updates for the most part (case in point, this chapter ovu).

v.

Erik’s heats always started out slow and built with time, so it was almost always better to ease into things rather than take off at a sprint right off the bat. Unfortunately, rut didn’t work exactly the same way. The start of it was always a practice in restraint for Charles who wanted nothing more than to make love to Erik as quickly and as often as physically possible, even when Erik wasn’t quite ready to take it that way yet.

Luckily, they’d worked out some mutually beneficial ways to take the edge off for Charles while Erik was still lucid and more horny than physically needing stimulus to not be in pain.

They made it through the rest of the night without incident, eating dinner and then putting on a movie. There was a good deal of necking and groping involved, but it never escalated thanks to the effort put in on both sides. Charles rushed to go to bed already afterward and Erik laughed at him, comparing him to a child the night before Christmas and that wasn’t an entirely false comparison.

It worked in any case. When Charles woke up curled up against Erik, he could press his nose into the hollow of his neck and smell his heat clearly. Charles groaned, nuzzling into him and grinding up against his thigh, unable to help himself. His body was reacting with impressive speed, heating up and urging him to get on with it already. He could already feel that sort of ache at the base of his cock that came when he was going to knot up.

Erik stuttered awake soon afterward and reacted similarly, pressing up against Charles. There wasn’t much urgency in the movement: he stretched and sprawled out lazily, letting his legs fall open and pulling Charles on top of him. Charles went, nestling between Erik’s thighs so he could bite at his neck and rub his cock more insistently against his ass.

That woke Erik up. “Charles,” Erik rumbled, something of a warning. Charles had enough control to detach himself and pull back some with a whine.

“ _Erik_ ,” he groaned, a bit beyond words as he always was right at the start of rut. He was drowning in his own desires as they popped into his mind, one after the other: the urge to touch Erik everywhere he could reach, to mark him, to reach down and feel how wet and loose he was, to push his cock deep inside and fuck him until they were tied together for a good long time, come inside him, fill him up, make sure his seed took, mate, _mate, mate_ —

Charles shook himself hard, dropping his forehead down against Erik’s chest and taking a deep breath, trying to think around his instincts and the biological drive that was currently overwhelming him. “I’m sorry,” he murmured, kissing the skin there, stilling his hips where he’d been rutting up against Erik still.

Erik brought his hands up to rub along his back. “It’s alright,” he said, softer, maybe more understanding than he usually was when Charles got like this. “Let me take care of it. You’ll have your turn soon enough.”

And then the world was spinning and Charles was on his back with Erik on top of him, scooting so their positions were reversed completely. Charles forced himself to focus, to let Erik between his legs, to let him take the reins for the time being. He was rewarded by Erik kissing him deeply, pulling his lips open and pressing his tongue into his mouth. Erik got a hand down between his legs to squeeze at him through the fabric of his sleep pants, cupping and rubbing expertly. The relief that granted was enough to make Charles feel a little less frantic so he could help Erik in his task rather than be a hindrance.

It wasn’t long before Charles had his legs bent up against his chest, whining in impatience while Erik rubbed the swollen head of his prick up against Charles’s hole, having already stretched him open with his fingers first. Charles grasped at the sheets and pushed his hips up toward Erik. “Please,” he demanded, desperate for him to push in already, “please Erik, I need it.”

That propelled Erik forward, pressing inside in one long, steady motion. Charles’s breathing stuttered and he groaned through his teeth at the feeling of his body opening up around Erik. He dropped a hand down to squeeze at the base of his cock, keep pressure where he normally would have had it, had their roles been reversed. Erik pressed flush against him after a few long moments and gave Charles a bit of time to sort himself, reaching in the meantime to curl his hand around Charles’s and add to the pressure there.

Charles ached, not because this was uncommon for them, but because it wasn’t really what his body wanted at the moment. It was disorienting to be spread open like this when really what he wanted was that tight, hot, familiar pressure. Still, it wasn’t entirely off-putting since it was clearly bringing him closer to release. He let out a long, high moan, clenching experimentally around Erik and giving his cock another tight squeeze near the base.

They’d found that this was a good way to edge his rut a little without pushing Erik into something before he was ready. It let both of them get off, but in a way that wouldn’t add to their exhaustion later when they were reduced to a single position and motion. It also helped Erik feel more in control which helped make the latter half of his heat more bearable for him, or so he’d told Charles. That alone was enough to convince Charles that it was a good idea.

Ordinarily, Charles didn’t mind letting Erik top in the least. Some people were still against mates being flexible with positions, but neither he nor Erik saw much point to the taboo. They both had pricks so what was the point in letting one go to waste? Besides, Erik was ridiculously well-endowed for an omega, almost unfairly so, long and thick and perfect. Charles would be damned before he let that kind of opportunity pass him by. There was something hot, too, about bucking tradition so entirely.

Still, at the moment, it was nice but not what he really needed. It was a bit like running a marathon in the heat and being thirsty only to have someone hand you some hot tea. Sure it would quench your thirst but it wasn’t exactly what you had wanted.

“Move,” Charles demanded. “Move, Erik, please—”

Erik did, pulling out slow and then shoving back in hard and fast. Charles jolted from the force of the thrust and groaned, scrambling to get his arms around Erik’s neck. Erik groaned as well, and moved to repeat the motion. Charles squirmed beneath him, throwing his legs up to cling around his waist. God, he was pushing in deep, driving Charles crazy with his rhythm. Having him take his time on the wind-up was almost unbearable because it left Charles stretched open and empty for far too long. “Erik,” he complained, scratching at his back and trying to move his own hips to change the pace with little success. “Faster, please, I can’t take it.”

Erik stood his ground for a few more strokes before he finally began fucking into him in earnest, pushing him down into the mattress hard and fast. Charles groaned, immediately drunk on the friction because _yes, that’s it, just like that, oh god_. It was rough and desperate and Erik was completely unrelenting. Charles lost himself in it, in the movement of their bodies, lost track of any coherent thought until his cock started to practically throb and he fumbled to attend to it. Erik got there before him, his grip painfully tight, just like he needed.

Erik leaned in closer to him, pressed his lips up against his ear. “Are you going to knot up for me?” he whispered, voice deep and ragged. “Going to knot even with my cock up your ass?”

Charles keened and nodded frantically. There was no point in denying it when he could already feel himself swelling. He was so damn close. “Erik,” he slurred. “Feels so good, tighter please, need your hand, need you—”

Erik took the hint squeezing in a rhythm around where his knot would form, miming the clenching of his body somewhat. Charles rocked into his grip helplessly. A couple more thrusts and that was enough, Charles was coming, gasping and shaking from the force of it. Erik stilled his hand and squeezed hard, giving Charles some space to fill. Charles whined because it wasn’t really enough, never was when he tried to knot when he wasn’t buried inside of Erik. The pressure of Erik’s fist kept it from being painful, but he still ached for what he was lacking.

Erik fucked him through his own orgasm, losing his pace almost entirely toward the end and ejaculating probably the most he would throughout his whole heat. Eventually his orgasms would go dry, so this was a one-time pleasure even if they had enough mind to repeat this trade-off at some point later. Charles liked feeling Erik warm and wet inside of him and squeezed some around his softening cock like Erik often did to him, as though trying to work out more. Erik snorted at him and bent to slot their mouths back together, still working at his knot. He’d let go some, but kept his hand where it was, rubbing the pad of his thumb over it.

Charles all but sobbed into Erik’s mouth, bemoaning being out in the open a little bit. He did sort of like letting Erik play with him like this, twisting and kneading at the skin, and he usually let Erik do it if he knotted up outside of heat and Erik wasn’t in the mood to take it normally. But as he was now, knee-deep in rut, it was a little unbearable. There was pleasure in the pain, but for once he just wanted the knot to go down quickly more than anything else, to get it over with. (It would, most likely. There was no point to it like this and his body would realize that soon enough.)

“Such a good job,” Erik was muttering to him, pulling back to mouth at his neck, scratching his teeth there. That helped ground him. He inhaled a deep breath of Erik’s scent as well to help calm himself. “Did so well for me. Love having you like this, so desperate.” Erik got into moods where he babbled on like this sometimes and Charles was hard pressed to stop him. He did bring his own hand down to squeeze at his cock to help counterbalance Erik’s teasing somewhat (some good that did: Erik just moved to start tugging on his foreskin instead).

Erik did have enough mind to pull out of him soon after, collapsing on top of Charles entirely, curling into him. Charles’s knot had gone down enough that he thought he could leave it be, so he wrapped his arms around him, stretching out his legs for Erik to lay between, holding him close and kissing the top of his head.

“I love you,” Charles told him. He got a muffled reply from where Erik was face-down against his chest but he didn’t mind. It was enough to have the warm, solid weight of his body on top of him. Before long Erik would probably start to need stimulation, but for now they could rest, having avoided a premature frenzy for the time being. They’d certainly need the energy for later.

vi.

Erik was getting restless and Charles couldn’t help but hope that it would soon be time for him to take his turn as promised. They’d spent the morning lazing about in bed, but their activities had been, for the most part, quite innocent considering their current set of circumstances. They dozed, they talked, they kissed, but that was about it. They had had one nice mutual wank as it crept closer to lunchtime, but that was all.

Charles supposed he didn’t mind these quiet, blurry hours that always defined the beginning of Erik’s heats. They were nice in theory and any other time he would have killed to have that kind of time alone with Erik, but his rut was like fire in his veins and alcohol to his brain, scrambling his thoughts. He was holding back as best he could, but there was no denying how badly he wanted to take Erik, have all of him properly, definitional, by-the-book mating between a couple in heat.

He wished he could control that urge better for Erik’s sake, but there really wasn’t much to be done. They had to find a balance between Erik’s slower pace and the fact that Charles would only start to improve once they’d made it through that first round that would start everything off. Still, Charles was pretty sure he wouldn’t have to wait much longer. Erik was starting to shift around in the bed, to cling closer to him and rub mindlessly. Charles went to go get lunch for them and when he left Erik was sprawled idly across the bed with no apparent intent to move any time soon. When he returned, however, he found Erik upright and the bed freshly arranged and had to bite back a small smile of anticipation, hiding it behind his greeting as he presented the food.

One of Erik’s more surprising quirks as an omega was his nesting. It wasn’t that it was odd; lots of omegas did it, particularly before or during their heat, but it was odd that it was something Erik did. He was hardly a domestic sort of person, but every time without fail, at some point usually early on Charles would find him back at it, pushing the blankets around irritably, rearranging them to his liking. He did it with the house sometimes too, although that could be contributed more to him liking things tidy. Charles found it very endearing, although he knew better than to bring it up very often. Erik was self-conscious over it as he was about basically all his more stereotypically “omega” traits, and he hated to be patronized.

Charles had made the mistake of bringing it up once during a heat and it hadn’t gone over well at all. Now he knew to quietly appreciate the phenomenon on his own time and let Erik do what he would meanwhile.

Charles crawled back into bed carefully, trying not to disturb Erik’s work—that would happen in time inevitably, but he could at least be respectful while he still had the mind to care about that sort of thing. Erik stared at him as he did, tracing the lines of his body with his eyes. Charles let it happen, let himself be watched, and if he sat with his thighs spread more than he normally would well, he wasn’t hurting anyone, was he?

“Here,” he said, pretending not to notice how Erik’s scent had gone a little sharp with desperation, his eyes a little unfocused. Charles wondered how wet he was at the moment. It killed him somewhat to not just push Erik over and give him what they both clearly wanted, or to at least offer openly, but they had a rule about this sort of thing. It only happened when Erik asked for it, verbally, in some fashion or another.

So, instead, he offered the plate to Erik who shook himself and eventually brought a hand up to take it, picking up one of the apple slices to bite into. “Thank you.”

Charles nodded, going for a cracker. “I would have brought some wine along but I thought that might not be the best idea.”

Erik’s lips curled up and Charles could see the moisture on them from the fruit. He wanted badly to lick it off. “I’m pretty sure we agreed a long time ago about mixing alcohol and heats.”

They had, for good reason. It was a pretty good rule in general, but for some reason they’d decided not to listen to it, bringing some bourbon to bed with them one time. The result had been mildly disastrous.

“That’s why I didn’t bring it,” Charles agreed, stacking a piece of cheese on top of his next cracker and not complaining that Erik was hogging all the apples. “It left me extra time to cut everything up.”

“It’s easier to not make a mess this way at least,” Erik agreed. “But no wonder you were gone so long.”

“Did you miss me?” Charles asked, smiling cheekily and batting his eyes at Erik who scoffed.

Erik took another bite of his apple. “Some alpha, leaving his mate all alone in heat.”

Charles laughed. “You’re the last one I want to hear playing that card. You’re completely fine on your own for fifteen minutes. I’m only here to be a glorified sex toy.” He made sure his tone came through as light and facetious, even if he wasn’t entirely wrong. He didn’t feel that way, but it was probably what Erik wanted to hear at the moment, so he played along. If some metaphorical stroking led to real stroking, then he was willing to throw his ego under the bus a little as compensation.

It seemed to work. The flush on Erik’s cheeks got darker and he flicked his eyes down, continuing to wear a small, satisfied smile. Erik shifted where he was sitting, more obviously than he had before. Charles watched him, enthralled, urging him silently to give up the ghost already. With the amount of pheromones they were both pumping out it was all but inevitable at this point, but all Charles did was take a slice of apple of his own and bite into it.

He could feel Erik’s eyes, hot like a brand, tracing down his neck as he swallowed and felt anticipation swirl frantically in his chest. Because that was the key, actually. The words of praise didn’t hurt, but what really got to Erik was watching Charles hold back; it was being allowed to hold the cards. Charles giving him as much power as he physically could was what made heats bearable and even enjoyable for him to a point. It made him confident and devastating. It was wonderful torture, being made to wait, but nothing compared to that moment when he chose to give himself over because he wanted it, not out of impulse.

“Charles,” Erik murmured, quiet and deep. Charles glanced up slowly, catching his eyes. They’d gone dark again. There was something determined in his expression as well, something firm about the set of his jaw. Charles felt a wave of arousal wash over him, felt his blood start to rush down again. He did his best to keep his mask of calm, to appear unaffected as much as he’d rather be drooling or begging at Erik’s feet.

“Are you ready?” Charles asked, as nonchalantly as he could. Erik’s expression quirked in a way that told him that he hadn’t been completely successful at appearing unaffected.

For a second Charles was afraid he’d say no just to stretch it out a bit longer. (He’d done it before and Charles had almost lost his mind each time. He didn’t see why he was the one who was always accused of being a tease when Erik acted like this when such high stakes were involved) but ultimately, Erik just held his gaze and after a beat of tense silence he beckoned him.

It took all the remaining shreds of Charles’s control to not dump the plate off the side of the bed in his haste to obey, but he managed to salvage it, setting it off to the side before he moved. After that, however, he threw his self-imposed shackles off completely and lunged at Erik who fell over beneath him obligingly.

Charles kissed him like he hadn’t seen him in months, desperately tasting his lips and his tongue, still sweet from the apples. Erik moaned into the kiss and went completely slack beneath him, digging his fingers into Charles’s hair and twisting. Charles broke off to mark a line down the center of Erik’s neck and readjust so he was better situated between Erik’s legs. Erik spread them for him automatically pulling them up and back and displaying himself for Charles to see.

Normally Charles would take his time touching and kissing, but he couldn’t stand to wait any longer. He brought a hand down to press between Erik’s legs, biting back a groan at how slick and open he was. He’d really only meant to prod at his hole, but his fingers slipped in easily. Erik let out another long, low noise and pressed back against Charles, opening up around him. He was so hot and wet inside and Charles’s cock was aching.

He took a few seconds to rub at Erik’s walls with the pads of his fingers, sliding the other two in while he was there, stretching decisively, and watching Erik while he did. Erik arched up toward him, curling his body into a smooth arc. He stretched his arms up over his head, flexing his fingers mindlessly. His eyes had fallen closed but his mouth was open, letting little desperate noises leak out. Charles pushed his fingers in and out, watching the way it made the muscles of Erik’s thighs twitch hungrily before focusing in on the way they sank into Erik, how well he stretched around him. Erik rocked his hips in time with Charles, seeming unable to help himself.

How wonderful it was to have this strong, fiercely intelligent man all to himself, to be able to make him fall apart like this. “Charles,” Erik groaned, voice ragged already. “Hurry.”

Charles didn’t need to be told twice. He pulled his hand back, bringing his fingers to his mouth finally, licking off the sweet, sticky taste of him. His cock throbbed when he did and he was glad Erik was already flipping over on his own, getting up on his knees. He didn’t have a coherent thought in his head beyond getting inside of Erik once and for all, fucking him for a good long time, and then finally knotting him.

Fortunately, Erik seemed to be of the same mindset. He arranged himself perfectly, ass up in the air shamelessly, cock hanging down heavy between his legs, presenting impatiently. Charles scrambled to move close enough to line up and mount him, and Erik whined while he waited, his legs shaking. Charles knew, distantly, that he was certainly at the point where not having this was beginning to hurt, so he didn’t beat around the bush and slid inside in one easy thrust.

Erik practically sobbed, collapsing onto the bed, fingers fisting in the sheets. His body locked around Charles immediately, fitting to him perfectly after all these years. It was a bit ironic then that Charles could swear it felt like the first time all over again. For a few good seconds he felt frozen, as though he’d been shocked, simply from the relief of _finally_ being where he’d yearned to be all morning, where he was supposed to be: buried up to the hilt inside of Erik who was so fantastically hot and slick, clenching around him already.

This was it, _this_ was the moment he longed for every time Erik announced his next heat or even just flipping through memories of past ones. This first, perfect connection, with the two of them locked together completely. Charles leaned up over Erik, bracketing him in with his body.

Erik groaned again. “ _Move_ , please, I can’t take it.”

Charles was helpless to resist. He pulled out and pushed back in, hard and deep, knocking another sound out of Erik. He was more vocal during his heats, moaning his pleasure for Charles to hear. Once was hardly enough so Charles kept going, fucking into Erik frantically, unable to keep up any steady pace or to hold back. Erik didn’t seem to mind at all. Instead he gushed out more slick which dripped down between their thighs and made Charles pound into him harder.

Charles couldn’t help but feel euphoric, like he’d gotten everything he could ever want. It wouldn’t last that long, but for these first minutes, it was more than enough. He nosed down against Erik’s neck, pressing there and inhaling deeply, getting higher off his scent. He curled their fingers together, and Erik squeezed back lightly. It was a small gesture, but it struck a chord with Charles even through the general primal state of his mind. He set his teeth up against Erik’s bond mark and pressed lightly. Erik keened—the skin was always sensitive there—and came abruptly when Charles tilted his hips so he could get at his prostate, almost completely untouched. His body tensed as he did and Charles worked him through it, mouthing along his mark further. When he finished, he went boneless underneath Charles, with his chest almost completely up against the mattress. He didn’t protest Charles’s continuous movements. Really, he seemed pleased with them more than anything else, happy to let Charles take.

Charles did. He sat back again so he could grab hold of Erik’s hips tightly and move with purpose, chasing his own release. “So beautiful,” he husked out. “Taking it so well, my lovely, so wet just for me, smell so good, look so perfect just like this.”

Erik hummed and pushed back against Charles, rocking his hips, probably wanting more. Charles could see his cock filling back up already and bit off a groan at the sight, focusing on pressing in as deep as he could, letting his instincts guide him through the frenzy of this first mating.

Erik came again before Charles finally felt like he might be about to lose it at well. Erik had seemingly lost any ability to speak, but was making small, deep noises in the back of his throat whenever Charles fucked into him that were driving Charles mad. Still, Charles couldn’t help but ask. “You want me to knot you? Want it inside you this time, want me to fill you up?”

Erik groaned and nodded frantically. “Want it, Charles, _please_ , need it, god, I need it…” He trailed off back into unintelligibility, but that was more than enough for Charles.

A couple of good, final thrusts and he could feel the familiar swelling at the base of his cock. He stilled, pressing hard up against Erik, frozen still as he came at last. He lost track of himself for a good few seconds, all the sense and air knocked out of him by white hot pleasure, but when he came back to he and Erik were tied with his knot locking them in place.

Erik sighed, stretching underneath him, gorgeous and sated with his knot pressed up against the glands right inside Erik’s entrance settling him into this drowsy state for the time being. He twisted around so he could catch Charles’s eyes and Charles lurched back into motion, leaning forward again so he could messily catch his lips. It was a bad angle but he couldn’t help it when Erik looked at him like that, drunk on just being tied like this. When they broke the kiss off, Charles moved to nip at his bond mark again because he knew it would make Erik whine. Erik squeezed around him as well, pressing tighter around his knot and making Charles groan in return.

Slowly, Charles lowered the two of them to the bed on their sides, throwing an arm over Erik’s chest and squeezing tight. Erik found his hand again and laced their fingers back together. Charles caught his breath and came back to himself, aware again of where he was and what was happening in a more general sense. Even then, the rush of contented warmth that settled over him was a bit drugging, but he grasped onto his lucidity. He liked to remember these moments when Erik was relaxed beside him, happily knotted and half dozing. The lines of his face were softer, gone slack with content, and it made him look even more handsome than usual.

Charles kissed at his neck and right behind his ear, throwing a leg up over his hip to try and get closer to him. “I love you,” he said because it bared repeating, as much as possible. “Love you so much, darling.”

Erik chuckled breathlessly, his eyes opening some, though the lids were still low. He squeezed playfully around Charles again, and it made his breathing stutter. Erik’s lips curled up and Charles thought he looked like a big, sleepy cat, stretched out in the sun. “Love you too. Feel so good… So glad you’re my glorified sex toy.”

Charles coughed out a laugh. He didn’t understand how Erik had the mental capacity to make jokes when all Charles could do was lay about and babble on about how wonderful Erik was, but he wasn’t complaining. “Me too.”

When he was younger, Charles’s ideas of couples in heat had been much more biology-focused and they were still, to some extent. Still, he’d always thought that mating with an omega would be the same no matter what because that was the way it was. Alpha and omega and the biological drive to procreate in order to insure the survival of the species. It made sense. But now he understood that it wasn’t like that at all, not only because it was silly to think people had sex solely to have children (hell, he and Erik did it with the express intent to _not_ do that), but because mating with someone in particular was different.

For him, it wasn’t that it was any omega in heat, it was that it was _Erik_ in heat, his Erik, so willing and desperate for it, letting Charles help him through it because he wanted _him_ there, not just anyone off the street. It was sappy, Charles knew, but it was true.

Laying there with Erik, tied together and dozing off, he couldn’t imagine it being anyone else. This was his forever, and he wouldn’t want it any other way.

He tried to tell Erik but all it got him was his thigh pinched—a bit of a poor choice since it made Charles jerk back and he pulled Erik right along with him. It didn’t really matter, Charles supposed. He knew Erik knew, and probably felt the same, somewhere underneath that insistent realism of his. He figured that was what really counted.

vii. (an erik interlude)

Erik had never liked heats, even in concept. He hadn’t liked them when he was a child and going through them on his own after he hit puberty, two or three times per year, and he hadn’t liked them as an adult when, even now that he had the opportunity to find a partner, doing so was fraught because most people expected very specific things from heating omegas, almost none of which he was inclined toward. He wasn’t going to sacrifice his pride and agency for sex.

They were a literal pain in the ass, adding insult to injury with how they robbed one almost completely of their lucidity and self-control. He knew that some omegas liked their heats, looked forward to them. It was something about letting go, losing control that appealed to them. Erik never really understood that point of view. He didn’t like the idea of not being in charge of his own mind and thoughts.

Charles, then, and everything he brought with him, was an anomaly. Never in a million years did Erik think he would meet someone like him. Hell, he’d assumed he’d spend his life unmated and he hadn’t been upset over it. He hadn’t even given much thought to it. It seemed inevitable, a fact. Maybe he’d have some one night stands every once in a while to take the edge off, but otherwise he could take care of himself. Heats would be a waste of a week and unbearable as they occurred, but they’d be his to deal with however he wanted.

It hadn’t turned out that way, much to his surprise.

It wasn’t like the entire world was still stuck on the idea that omegas were subservient and weak, and alphas were dominant and strong—only most of it was. It wasn’t impossible to find someone progressive enough to not make him want to toss them out a window halfway through the night, but his standards, as he’d been informed by those around him, were rather high.

When he’d first met Charles, he hadn’t thought much of him. Well, that wasn’t completely true. If he was being honest, Erik had noticed that Charles didn’t look much like a stereotypical alpha. He was relatively short, somewhat soft in the face and body. His eyes were big and bright, and his smile was wide and welcoming. It was in contrast to how he approached Erik—directly, trying out some stupid pick-up line that usually turned Erik off immediately—how he acted—confident in himself and his words, comfortable in his own skin—and how he behaved—looking Erik right in the eye, not backing down even when Erik frowned and didn’t respond in any positive way to the come-on.

Still, Erik couldn’t help but feel a bit of kinship with the man. He didn’t look much like an omega either. Besides, he appreciated the directness. If someone was going to try and pick him up, he preferred they get on with it instead of pretending they weren’t and assuming he was too stupid to notice. So, Erik tolerated him, didn’t chase him off or move away immediately. They started talking and Erik found that Charles was actually quite intelligent and a decent conversationalist when he wasn’t trying too hard. He didn’t seem put off even when Erik kept his guard up and his tone cool.

Charles would talk about anything Erik brought up, even politics. They didn’t always agree but Erik didn’t care since Charles at least had something to say on the talking points. He was engaged and amiable and Erik only caught his eyes slipping down a few times rather than constantly. (Erik wasn’t about to call him out on it anyway, since he was just as guilty.) A few hours and a few drinks later, it wasn’t that surprising to Erik that he found himself bringing Charles home with him.

Charles came along willingly but was babbling on about getting together again sometime in the future, that they should exchange numbers and the like. Erik wasn’t listening, too focused on the task at hand. He shut Charles up thoroughly when they got back to his, shoving him up against the front door and kissing him breathless. Charles didn’t fight it, even hitched a leg up around Erik’s waist.

Erik started to think that this man couldn’t be real.

His suspicions were only further confirmed when they made it to the bedroom and struggled out of their clothes. Charles was appreciatory, maybe overly so, but Erik wasn’t unused to it. He knew he looked decent with his clothes off, but he had more pressing concerns at the moment, like getting off. He thought maybe he wanted Charles to fuck him. That was usually a lot of extra work, but something about the other man made him think it might be worth it.

He didn’t get the time to decide since Charles was moving on without him, laying back on the bed and spreading his legs, looking almost offended when Erik just stood and stared at him. “Well?” he demanded, pulling his knees up against his chest. “Come on then.”

Erik blinked and stayed where he was, trying to process what the hell was happening. “You’re an alpha, aren’t you?” Erik asked bluntly, realizing he sounded like an idiot but too afraid his nose was broken or something to be concerned.

Charles raised his eyebrows at him. “Yes?” He huffed, dropping his head back down to the bed. “Come on, Erik. Let’s be realistic. You can find this—” He gestured to himself, and more specifically to where his cock lay hard and red between his legs. “—anywhere. I’m not going to find that—“ This time he gestured toward Erik. “—twice in a lifetime. So indulge me. Please?”

Erik still couldn’t believe what he was hearing, but he knew better than to look a gift horse in the mouth. It wasn’t the first time he’d topped, but he could count the number of times it’d happened on one hand easily enough. For Charles to just…let him so naturally was almost unheard of. But Charles took it so well, with an ease that spoke to him having done this before. It’d been more than a year since Erik had had really good sex, and never like this.

Afterwards, Erik didn’t ask Charles to leave. He was actually a little nervous about the prospect. Fortunately, Charles didn’t go anywhere, only stretched out and rolled over to curl up next to Erik, smiling.

“Do you always do that?” Erik couldn’t help but ask, hoping Charles would know what he meant. He felt completely thrown off-guard by this man and desperate in a way he normally wasn’t to learn more about him.

Charles shrugged lightly. “Not always. Depends on my mood.”

“Oh.” Erik wondered how Charles could be so casual about it, if he’d really never faced backlash for it. But that was another conversation for another time, one they would eventually have, since they began seeing each other almost immediately afterward, became properly mated about three years in, and hadn’t been apart since.

Charles’s eyebrows pulled together. “It was okay, wasn’t it? It didn’t make you uncomfortable? I’m sorry, I sort of forced you into it.”

Erik frowned. “Not at all. If I didn’t like it you’d have known.”

Charles’s face smoothed over again and he laughed. “Good.” A pause and then, “Besides, I like to think of myself as a man who knows when to take advantage of what’s in front of him.”

Erik rolled his eyes even as he fought back a smile and Charles kept laughing.

And now here they were, years later, and Charles was just as obliging as he had been that first night. He’d helped to erase the negative connotations of heats in Erik’s mind somewhat, and even that little bit of acceptance was unprecedented. Erik even looked _forward_ to them sometimes. It wasn’t often, but it did happen. For someone who had never been very fortunate in life, he thought he’d somehow gotten extremely lucky with this, and he didn’t take it for granted.

Heats were still annoying, but they weren’t all bad. They certainly brought out the alpha in Charles for all he tried to fight it which was simultaneously amusing and confounding. Erik knew how eager he got once the announcement of an upcoming one had been made, how all of his focus narrowed in on Erik almost immediately. It wasn’t always terrible since sometimes Charles buried himself in his work and seemed loathe to come back out.

His endeavors toward cooking were at least commendable, even if he was terrible to that day. Erik was trying to slowly ease him into full meals, but as it was, cooking an egg occasionally gave him trouble still. It was beyond Erik how Charles had lived alone all of his early twenties without either dying from starvation or a heart attack from eating too much take-out.

Once his heat started properly Charles started displaying more than usual, showing off his cock (like Erik hadn’t seen the damn thing every day for more than five years). Erik thought it was mostly unconscious, but it was a very alpha thing to do. He guessed he didn’t mind it that much. In spite of Charles’s rather dismissive mention of it the first night they were together, Erik actually rather liked his prick and his heat-addled brain _definitely_ liked it. It was thick, but not too long. Erik had never been one for testing his limits in that department. Frankly, Charles was more of a size queen than he was.

Finally, he became a little obsessed with Erik’s slick. Erik went back and forth on that particular idiosyncrasy. He had a feeling that it was more Charles than it was “alpha.” Sometimes he didn’t mind it. He didn’t enjoy feeling so wet and sticky for days on end, but there was nothing to be done about his constant self-lubrication. Having Charles clean him up was something of a relief, at least at first. If he wasn’t careful, Charles could get a little too fixated and while Charles’s mouth was nice, that wasn’t really what he wanted or needed as his heat progressed.

Even early on, it could be frustrating. After Charles had knotted him for the first time that heat, they got something of a break. That period would get shorter as time went on, and Erik was happy to savor it while it lasted. Erik had held out probably longer than he’d wanted to, but not as long as he’d meant to originally. He usually tried to hold off until the first night if he could, for both of their sakes, but he couldn’t help it this time, not with the way Charles was looking at him.

It at least served to calm Charles down a little so he wasn’t _so_ hyper-focused on nothing but wetting his cock. The trade-off was that he handed that persistent urge off to Erik who would only be able to last so long before he needed Charles in him again. In spite of that, less than thirty minutes later, Erik found Charles back between his legs, kissing a line down his torso and rubbing at his entrance.

Erik hummed at the stimulus, raising his head and opening an eye to see what exactly Charles thought he was doing now. Charles looked down guiltily when he realized Erik was watching, flushing nicely. His gaze remained fixed between Erik’s legs and Erik caught on quickly.

He couldn’t help but smirk down at his mate. Maybe it was true that Erik’s heats followed a distinct pattern, but Charles was just as predictable in Erik’s eyes, if not more so. Erik supposed he wouldn’t mind. “Go ahead.” He laid back and bent his legs up but kept them spread, putting his feet flat on the mattress to give Charles easier access.

Charles bent down immediately to start lapping at him, taking a detour to lick up the inside of his thighs where some slick had already dried. Erik groaned at the slippery, teasing sort of friction Charles’s tongue gave. It helped that occasionally Charles would suck or nip at the rim of his hole, a brief distraction from the otherwise repetitive motion of his licking. There was some relief to be found, as there always was, from Charles cleaning up some and from the way he groaned while he did, but it wasn’t hardly enough. Normally it didn’t bother Erik so much, but it was driving him a little crazy at the moment.

He tolerated it as best he could for several long minutes anyway, letting Charles do as he would. He did like to see Charles enjoying himself, though he was much less magnanimous in the midst of heat than at other times. When Charles rimmed him later on in the week, he wouldn’t be able to stand it very long because it made him aware of how empty he felt, making it so the only thing he could think about was how good it would feel if Charles would push back inside him.

Despite it being only the first day, that was how Erik felt currently: unsatisfied, aching for something more. Maybe thinking about Charles’s alpha-ish quirks when he was already longing for him almost constantly hadn’t been such a good idea. Erik thought that was probably what had set him off again so soon. Whatever the cause, he decided he couldn’t lay back and take it the way he normally would and started squirming.

Charles was unperturbed, remaining aloof to Erik’s dilemma. He stayed where he was with his face buried between his legs, muttering mindless little compliments like “taste so good” and “so loose and wet, god, Erik” as he went along which weren’t helping Erik be any less aroused.

Erik groaned and pressed back against Charles in a silent plea, feeling his body open up further automatically. All Charles did was rub his face shamelessly against him and wrap his arms around his thighs to keep him in place. Erik’s cock ached, hard up against his stomach again, but he wasn’t too concerned with it.

His mind started to go blurry again and he couldn’t help but announce his dissatisfaction aloud. “Charles,” he complained. “It’s not enough.”

Charles growled and stayed where he was, licking and licking at Erik’s hole. Erik huffed, frustrated at how little attention he was paying to what he needed, and started to shift purposefully beneath him, pushing back at him. That at least jarred Charles back into reality and he pulled back, looking a little disappointed but also apologetic.

 _Good_ , Erik thought irritably. He spread his legs further, pushing his hips up, assuming Charles would push his cock into him again if he did, but Charles opted for pressing his fingers inside instead, and at that point, any penetration was better than no penetration. He at least didn’t feel so horribly empty any longer. He keened and clenched around Charles who added his last two fingers quickly enough, beginning to work them in and out of Erik roughly.

Erik felt hot all over, feverish as he often did throughout his heat, but the friction helped abate it some. It was good, he thought, noting the way the broadest part of Charles’s hand got stuck each time, not pushing in further, but it could be better. “More,” he demanded, relaxing back further into the bed. He wasn’t much interested in being fisted outside of his heats, but he liked it often during them. He knew his body could take it, and being filled that way was new and exciting and different from any toy. “I want your hand.”

Charles paused, seeming to take a moment to parse that, flicking his eyes up to catch Erik’s, like he had to check for consent when Erik had just purposefully asked as bluntly as he could for what he wanted. Erik pushed back against him impatiently, wiggling his hips. Charles took the hint and adjusted his position, moving so he could get to work.

It went much faster than it normally would. It really wasn’t that difficult to ease the rest of his hand in once he’d tucked his thumb in place. Erik loosened obligingly almost without any effort at all on his part, letting Charles push in past his knuckles, in until Erik was clamping down around his wrist. It knocked the breath right out of Erik and he sobbed from the feeling. _There_. _That_ was it, _that_ was enough. The pressure of it was incredible and then Charles spread his fingers out.

Erik groaned, seeing stars. Vaguely he could feel Charles rubbing at his thigh, kissing the top of his knee and muttering compliments again as he flexed his fingers and adjusted the position of his hand slightly, twisting just a little. Erik knew he was incredibly vulnerable at the moment, but he couldn’t care less, too ecstatic and drunk on his own hormones to care. “ _Yes_ ,” he groaned when Charles got his free hand around his cock and started working him.

It wasn’t long after that when he came, hard and long. Charles stroked him through it. When he was finished, Charles eased his hand out gently, more practiced in the motion than he used to be. Erik was still dizzy and boneless and he thought Charles might push inside him now—he thought he probably wouldn’t mind—but he didn’t. Instead, he just ran his thumb around the rim of Erik’s hole and leaned up to start mouthing at his neck.

Erik let his head fall back so Charles could mark him, sinking his teeth in deeper than he normally would and licking at the wound when he was done, feeling a little generous and still high on endorphins. Tit for tat, he supposed, Charles gave a little and he gave a little back, both of them indulging each other when they were like this.

Sure, heats were still a pain, always would be. He didn’t like having any part of his life decided for him by someone or something else. Still, if he had to go through them, he knew for a fact that he would never find anyone better to do so with than Charles, since there was no one else quite like him out there in the first place. Erik would go through a heat every month if meant staying by his side. Being with him would make it more than worth it.

viii.

Erik was asleep. After his abrupt revival and sudden desire to take Charles’s entire hand he’d settled with more finality, drifting in and out of consciousness easily. (Charles wasn’t entirely sure where that had come from. He didn’t normally get like that until later on in his heat. Charles had so been looking forward to licking him into incoherency for a while as well. Still, he did his best not to be too hurt over it. There was always next time and besides, seeing Erik take his fist was always something to behold.) Charles kissed him and scented and held him, needing to stay close. Erik didn’t seem to mind.

Charles let Erik rest, careful not to wake him when he fell completely asleep, his breathing going steady and slow. He did wonder what exactly had happened to cause that sudden shift, but he doubted he’d ever know. He could only hope that Erik would stay relatively lucid, more in the vein of how he’d been acting earlier that morning, for a couple more days. He wasn’t sure how they’d make it through four whole days of peak-heat behavior like he’d demonstrated slightly before.

Whatever it was, it was over for the moment.

Charles watched Erik, not bothering to fight back the swell of emotion at seeing him so relaxed and seemingly content. These early stages were the best, when Erik appeared to be enjoying himself to some extent, taking an active role in their activities more often than not. Later on things got a little drastic and exhausting, but right now he could almost pretend they’d snuck off together somewhere in the middle of a work week for no other reason than to lay around in bed all day.

Frankly, that wasn’t a half bad idea. Maybe during the summer, when he was a little less busy, but he thought Erik might like doing something like that outside of his heat cycles. He could schedule the time off ahead of time and everything. He thought Moira might actually go into shock if he did.

Charles bit back a smile and focused back on the slow rise and fall of Erik’s stomach. He ran a hand down his side, over the curve of his hip until his palm rested right there, over his navel. Charles kept it there, taking in the warmth of Erik’s body and letting himself ponder briefly over what could be.

It wasn’t like he hadn’t thought about having children before, or that he didn’t think about it. Realistically, Charles did want kids. He loved them and he wanted to raise a family together with Erik someday. He’d mostly come to terms with the fact that that family might not be biological a long time ago. Erik didn’t seem even remotely interested in carrying a child to term and Charles understood that. It would be a major strain on him, would probably keep him from working eventually. Charles knew Erik could handle it, didn’t doubt that, but something like that had to be a mutual decision. That awareness didn’t stop his nose and body from insisting Erik’s fertility to him repeatedly, but he generally tried to block that out.

Still, he couldn’t help but think about it sometimes, how Erik would look, what it’d be like. He rubbed slow circles around Erik’s stomach and indulged himself briefly. He wouldn’t dare do this while Erik was conscious, wouldn’t want him to feel like Charles was dissatisfied or didn’t respect his choice. Someday—Charles had to insist it to himself—they would adopt some lovely children and raise them together and be perfectly happy all the same.

That was a better fantasy to indulge in, Charles thought, pulling his hand back forcibly and running it back up Erik’s side instead, meaning to start rubbing at his back. When he did, however, he realized that Erik’s eyes were open. Charles cursed internally, both at Erik for being good at feigning sleep and at himself for getting so caught up in his own thoughts that he hadn’t noticed.

Erik didn’t seem particularly upset at least. He was looking at Charles, but just looking, his gaze steady and calm. Still, to be safe, Charles retracted his hand and lowered his eyes. “I’m sorry.”

Erik reached out almost immediately to take his hand back, placing it back on his hip. Charles chanced a glance up to find Erik’s expression still neutral. He stared at Charles for another few long moments wherein Charles started to rub at his back, hoping to earn a bit of favor that way, before he replied. “We should talk about it,” he said, quiet and careful. Despite that, his words were firm. “Again, I mean. It’s been a long time and I’m pretty sure the first time mostly consisted of me ranting on about how inconvenient it would be for twenty minutes.”

Charles couldn’t help the smile that curled his lips up in response because that was exactly how that conversation had gone.

“Later too,” Erik continued, arching against Charles’s hand. His eyes slipped closed again, easy as if they were never open in the first place. “When I’m not being biologically driven to get you to impregnate me almost constantly.”

Charles couldn’t fight back the small bit of hope that bloomed in his chest, nor could he stop himself from moving so he could kiss Erik decisively again, thoroughly capturing his lips. “Okay,” he replied, forcing himself to not say anything beyond that. Just the prospect of an open dialogue was enough, and it was probably a lot for Erik to give in the first place.

The rest of the day passed normally. Erik spent most of it catnapping and Charles made a dent in the book he’d been meaning to read for months. When it came time for dinner, Charles made his way downstairs only to find Erik following after him. He went to reprimand him, but Erik dropping to his knees and taking his cock into his mouth unbidden forced him to leave the thought incomplete. Charles ended up taking him again over the poor abused countertop that couldn’t seem to catch a break before they could be bothered to think further about dinner.

Charles thought that might be it for the day as Erik had seemed disinterested in anything more after they’d finished eating, opting instead to grab his laptop and pull up some documentary he’d been trying to force Charles to watch for months, but he was wrong. He was jostled awake in the middle of the night—3:27 A.M. to be precise—to find Erik rolling over for him again, dripping all over the bed with two of his fingers pressed inside of himself.

Charles bit back a comment about this not being able to wait until morning and groggily fumbled with the lamp, lurching awake to take care of his mate. He thought that there really was no rest for the wicked.


	3. day two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick warning: the brief watersports section of this fic is in this chapter. It's fairly short and easy to skip if you'd like (you'll spot it coming and you can just skip down to the next roman numeral and miss basically nothing). Just throwing out a heads up beforehand.

ix.

Charles blinked awake to light shining in his face which was strange since he could have sworn he closed the blinds the night before. Upon further investigation, he found that he was correct in his thinking and that the light wasn’t natural. Instead it was coming from the laptop currently sitting in Erik’s lap, apparently having never made its proper way back downstairs the night before.

Erik himself was glaring at the screen, his brow furrowed. He would occasionally type something rapid-fire before going back to his scanning. From where Charles was laying he couldn’t smell or sense any distress from his mate, but there was exhaustion there, underlining his eyes. Charles frowned, but fought back an instinctive urge to take the machine away forcibly. That wouldn’t solve anything. Still, it killed him to see Erik push himself like this even when he was supposed to be conserving his energy and taking a break. Heats weren’t easy. They took a lot out of even omegas who enjoyed them, let alone Erik who fought them almost every step of the way.

He supposed that he was lucky to have kept Erik in bed resting the entire day before. Something like this was inevitable almost every heat. He’d always catch Erik trying to cram in some work in the midst of it all, no matter how many times he tried to convince him that it wasn’t good for him and that not even Charles was working (he probably could and sometimes he was even tempted to but out of respect for Erik and keeping them on equal footing he refrained). Erik was nothing if not stubborn.

“Erik,” Charles called, his voice low in a sort of warning.

A muscle twitched in Erik’s jaw but he didn’t move beyond that. “Yes? Finally awake are we?”

Charles moved to sit up, noting the fact that his hips already ached a little. (Damn joints; he was only thirty-two.) He didn’t want to have this conversation lying down. He struggled into a more comfortable position, staying tucked underneath the blanket next to Erik, turning so he could fix his gaze on him more directly. “We’ve talked about doing work during heats. And in bed for that matter.”

Erik’s lips curled down and a sort of petulant look strayed across his face. “ _You’ve_ talked _at_ me about doing work during heats. You know how I feel on the matter. It’s not hurting me. I have a few things to finish up. It’s not going to kill me to read through these reports.”

Charles sighed, glancing down at his hands, trying to find the right words that wouldn’t make Erik think he was looking down on him. “Heats are hard on both of us by the end. We both need all the strength we can get. It’s not actively hurting you, but you’re tiring yourself out. You’ve had to drag me off my work when I’ve been sick before. This isn’t different.”

“Careful with your metaphors, Charles,” Erik said, voice sharper suddenly. He turned to shoot Charles a look that was sufficiently intimidating, even to him. “You’re pathologizing again.”

Charles pressed his lips together. “You’re right. It was a bad example.” It was the only one Charles could think of, but that was beside the point. “I just don’t want you to be any more uncomfortable later than you have to be. Your health should come before work, always.”

Erik had the decency to look a little guilty, but it only lasted for a second. After that, he went back to looking at his computer screen. “I only have a couple left.” He sighed and even though Charles knew it was a tactic, he couldn’t help but silently concede somewhat. “Just let me finish them. Then I’ll leave it alone for the rest of this. I promise.”

Charles didn’t believe him at all, but he did consider it. He knew Erik got annoyed with his fretting even if he seemed to understand that it was in his best interest. Maybe if Erik hadn’t already looked so tired, like he’d been up some time already, but as it was: “No.” Charles kept his voice firm. Erik turned slowly to look at him again, raising his eyebrows. Charles stood his ground—metaphorically—and crossed his arms over his chest, staring Erik down. “You’re already exhausted. Whoever it is that needs those reports can wait a couple more days. You’ve done more than enough already.”

Erik considered that. Charles could sense his hackles rising. He seemed to be thinking over his response carefully as ever. Erik wasn’t one to be told what to do. Charles knew that and it wasn’t like he was one to throw his weight around. At the moment he was playing a very specific card, one he wasn’t sure would go over well. Still, it was worth a shot.

Finally, after a tense stretch of silence: “Or what?”

That was it. Erik’s scent changed with his growing interest in this game, and was now a bit heady with his burgeoning arousal. Charles bit back any sort of triumphant expression at Erik’s acceptance. He was actually surprised Erik had taken to it so well, but he was still in heat, even if he was desperately trying to act otherwise. Charles playing at dominance was bound to do things it usually didn’t for him. “I’ll have to make you stop,” Charles suggested, keeping his tone light where the words were heavy.

Erik’s eyes flashed in that familiar defiance. He clenched his teeth and Charles wondered if he was going to back out. This _had_ been a serious conversation after all until Charles had flipped it. But apparently he didn’t mind tabling it for the time being. “I’d like to see you try.”

Charles moved immediately after the go ahead, snapping Erik’s laptop shut and tossing it aside, off down the bed before he got his hands on Erik, shoving the blankets down out of the way in the meantime. Erik struggled a little, complained and fought back, but he was tired and his body was working against him, going instinctively pliant in Charles’s hands. It was definitely fighting dirty, but the only other way Charles could win this game was if Erik wanted him to, so he’d take all the help he could get. He wasn’t trying to be any sort of beacon of morality.

He could feel the flex of Erik’s muscles and the long, sharp lines of his body pressing up against him as he wrestled him down flat onto the mattress, working to get him pinned on his stomach. Erik growled at him, squirming violently even when Charles had him down, working to try and throw him off. Charles kept that in mind even as he took a moment to check in properly. Erik’s scent was telling him that he wasn’t in any real distress, that he was just playing along, but he wanted to be sure. He leaned down close, pressing Erik down with the full weight of his body, whispering right up against his ear. “Color?”

“Green,” Erik replied immediately, breathless but steady.

A thrill of anticipation spiked in Charles’s chest at the word and he pressed a soft, reassuring kiss behind Erik’s ear before moving back to bite at the point where his neck and shoulder met hard, sinking his teeth in. Erik hissed, shoving up under him, still trying to toss him even as Charles had his arms pinned.

They played like this sometimes, not often, but every once in a while. More often during heat when being held down like this—even if the scenario was constructed—turned Erik on more than usual. Usually it was planned out ahead of time, but they’d been doing it long enough that Charles felt comfortable starting it up without much warning. They had rules and they followed them. It wasn’t like Erik couldn’t throw him right off if he wanted to. Tired as he was, if he really didn’t like something Charles was sure he’d be the first to know.

It was thrilling, this primal sort of fantasy, thrilling to pretend because it was so far from reality. It was definitely a game for earlier in a heat because Charles suspected it could get dangerous later on, but right now it was controlled, consensual; right now it was dirty and rough and everything both of them wanted.

Charles’s heart beat quickly, hammering in his chest, and his awareness of his need to be inside of Erik grew with every second. The bites helped to sedate him a little, enough so that Charles could keep just his forearm pressed down against his back so he could free up a hand and adjust Erik’s hips. He didn’t spend much time on it, working quickly, frantically, situating just enough so he could have a clear shot. As soon as he did, he shoved back inside of Erik, all the way in in one motion, hard enough to jolt both of them forward on the sheets.

Erik took him, of course, his hole sloppy wet as ever, but he squeezed around Charles purposefully once he was all the way in, groaning and taking up his performative struggling again. (And if all he was really accomplishing was fucking himself back on Charles’s cock, well, Charles wasn’t going to be the one to mention it.) It was wonderful to watch Erik’s body work like this. The gorgeous flex of muscle and skin made Charles ravenous and he moved both of his hands back to grip hard at Erik’s hips, thrusting forward with all of his strength, setting a pace that didn’t leave either of them any room to breathe and filled their room with an obscene cacophony of noises.

Erik’s hands were freed and he clawed at the blankets, arching up and shoving back at Charles, trying to throw him off balance. Charles almost tipped, but he caught himself, adjusting so his stance was wider and not giving an inch, shoving Erik down and fucking him relentlessly. Erik’s scent was incredible and he was positively _dripping_ , leaking slick down the backs of his thighs. He was swearing into the blankets, pressing his face down and twisting his hips. Charles kept his grip as best he could, even as his mind grew foggy with heat, everything boiling down into the singular need to mate Erik, his omega, claim him, mark him inside and out, pump him full of his seed.

Him coming undone was enough to give Erik the leeway to throw him off. Charles had no idea how he had so much self-control, but at the moment all he could do was find it devastatingly attractive. Erik flipped him over, off onto his back. The movement was abrupt enough to make him dizzy, but he was soon overcome by the awareness that he was no longer inside of Erik. He was hard enough for it to physically hurt, and he whined, already putting up his own fight, trying to get Erik back down and in some position to be mounted.

Erik wasn’t having it. He kept Charles pinned easily enough and climbed on top of him. Charles growled in frustration, even as he wondered what it was Erik was going to do now. Sometimes they were composed enough ahead of time—and had enough patience—to get both of them prepared so they could switch positions whenever they wanted, but that hadn’t been the case this time. Erik locked eyes with Charles, his pupils blown out, face flushed dark. For a few seconds he just looked, but then he started moving again, reaching a hand back to wrap around Charles’s cock, holding it up so he could sink back down onto it.

Erik dropped down in one fluid movement, letting his head fall back and groaning when he did. Charles couldn’t help but moan along with him, grateful beyond words to be back in the hot grip of his body. Erik wasted very little time before taking back up Charles’s frantic pace, pushing up and down with his thighs in a practiced sort of motion. Normally he took his time when he got up on top of Charles like this, but at the moment he opted for shallow, quick thrusts, chasing the finale to all of this as much as Charles had been.

Charles pondered flipping him back over briefly. Part of him yearned to get Erik back in a more stereotypical position with his ass in the air, where Charles could thrust in deeper and have more control over their movements, but he decided against it, gripping hard onto Erik’s thighs and watching his cock sink into Erik over and over again instead. Erik was perfect like this, completely in control, taking what he wanted. His swearing had morphed into low affirmative noises that got louder when Charles shifted his hips and found a better angle. Charles reached to get a hand around his cock which had been bouncing along with Erik, swollen and straining, but Erik slapped his hand away and he took the hint. He got like that sometimes in heats, not interested in being touched. Charles went back to taking in the view.

Erik worked them both expertly and the punishing pace he was keeping up paid off. Much sooner than usual Charles could feel that familiar swelling at the base of his cock and moved to hold Erik down flush against him. He didn’t take it so well, trying to keep moving anyway and Charles assumed that he wasn’t playing anymore. In a last ditch effort to get him properly knotted, Charles rolled them again, getting Erik on his back so he would hold still while Charles positioned himself.

There was one final scuffle where Charles had to reclaim Erik’s hands, pinning them down beside his head, until he was finally locked in place. At that point Erik settled as if a switch had been flipped, his body going limp underneath Charles, his chest heaving. Charles collapsed on top of him. So much for saving energy.

Erik was still hard, he noted, but thought it would be best to ask before he touched this time. “Do you want to come?”

“I’m fine,” came the hoarse reply. A few seconds later strong arms were wrapping around his back and Erik was nuzzling into his hair.

“Green?” Charles asked, wanting to be sure, even if Erik seemed perfectly sated.

“Green,” Erik replied. “Chartreuse.”

“Chartreuse?” Charles laughed, curling up on Erik’s chest, trying to get as comfortable as he could in this position. Their height difference wasn’t doing much to help him. Archaic or no there was a reason the mounting position was what it was. Knots could last upwards of half an hour sometimes so it was best to be comfortable. Charles sort of hoped this one would be short because of that.

Erik nuzzled up against him playfully, his mood having done a complete 360. Charles figured he was drunk on the hormones his body produced when they were tied like this, but he wasn’t complaining. “It’s a very bright green.”

“I know that,” Charles complained, tilting his head so he could give Erik a look. “What’s it supposed to mean?”

“Means you fucked my brains out to the point where I give a damn about different shades of green.”

Charles scoffed and pushed his hips up into Erik in reprimand. Erik only laughed and rolled them so he was back on top, curling his body so he could tuck his head into the space between Charles’s neck and shoulder. It was at least a little better than it had been.

The knot didn’t last long, mercifully. It had gone down enough for him to pull out about fifteen minutes later. Erik whined when he did, but Charles wanted to move and his body was alerting him to some more urgent matters he hadn’t had time yet to take care of that morning anyway.

“Sorry, darling,” he apologized, rubbing at Erik’s thigh. His eyes were still a little unfocused, not quite back from wherever it was he went when he was knotted. “Got to run to the toilet then I’ll be right back. I promise.”

Suddenly recognition flashed in Erik’s eyes, and Charles thought it meant that he understood so he went to stand and relieve his protesting bladder, but he didn’t get very far. There was some frantic shuffling behind him and Erik was calling after him, “Charles, wait.”

Charles stopped and turned, wondering what was wrong, if Erik wanted to follow him—he was welcome to. It wasn’t as if Charles had anything to hide from him. He’d just figured Erik would want to lay and rest for a while—or if it was something else. He was surprised to find Erik staring intently down at his prick again. From there he dragged his eyes up slowly until they met Charles’s.

 _Oh_. Charles thought he understood, if only because this wasn’t the first time Erik had asked like that. The first time there’d been a much longer period of confusion while Erik tried to tell him nonverbally and eventually had to ask directly, even if he was reluctant to say it aloud, because Charles couldn’t figure out what he could possibly mean.

Charles felt an unbidden spike of arousal at how hungry Erik looked even if that particular act didn’t hold quite as much interest for him personally. He let a hand drift down and squeezed around his cock, offering it up to Erik. “Do you want it?” It wasn’t really his cock he was talking about, but it got the point across and Erik nodded, apparently beyond the point of being ashamed, dropping down to his knees at Charles’s feet from where he’d already approached.

It was certainly one of Erik’s more unique kinks. Charles thought he was somewhat embarrassed about it as well, no matter how many times Charles insisted to him that he shouldn’t be. He definitely liked it, so it was just a matter of him working up the nerve to ask for it. During heat Charles thought maybe it was about marking—admittedly, it could help calm Erik down when he was in late heat and Charles needed to get up and leave him alone for a few minutes—, but outside of it, it was a little beyond him. He’d thought to ask but he doubted Erik wanted to talk about it or even knew himself why he liked it.

It was a little messy maybe, but it didn’t really take any effort. Charles had asked to try it once, and Erik had been hesitant to comply but eventually gave in. Charles didn’t dislike it, but he didn’t feel anything in particular, other than the need to take a shower afterward. Erik, on the other hand….Erik really did enjoy it, and that was enough for Charles. The last thing he wanted to do was to make Erik feel ashamed of his desires, so he smiled and tugged Erik back up, getting him into the bathtub at least so they didn’t ruin the carpet.

Erik went willingly enough and dropped back to his knees as soon as he’d stepped inside, uncaring about the feel of the hard porcelain. Charles positioned himself in front of him, noting how Erik’s erection was full again where it had flagged somewhat before, taking hold of his cock and aiming. “Ready?” he asked. He figured it was only polite to at least warn someone before you were going to piss on them, even if they were asking for it.

“Yes,” Erik said impatiently, tilting his face up toward Charles and closing his eyes, body straining forward. His eagerness helped Charles relax a little bit and not think too much. With that affirmation, Charles relaxed his bladder and didn’t bother to bite back a sigh of relief.

Erik groaned when it hit him, not flinching back from it in the least. Charles could see his hand working between his legs, jerking himself off. Charles watched the hot gold of his urine drip down over Erik’s shoulders, down over his chest to the apex of his hips, all the way to the tub. It must have been what Erik needed because it only took a few strokes before he was coming, curling up into himself, and exhaling shakily.

Beyond him or not, Charles could admit that the image was erotic, Erik getting off on being marked with his scent like this. The thought made his cock twitch weakly as he finished up, made it so he had to take a breath to steady himself before he did anything else.

Charles knelt down then, forcing himself to not care about being sanitary, and gripped Erik’s arms, trying to get a look at his eyes again. He did when Erik lazily opened them, looking more intoxicated than before. “Mm,” he hummed mindlessly.

Charles shook his head, bemused. “Now you need a bath.”

“Guess that’s two things this tub is good for,” Erik replied drowsily.

As long as he was happy, Charles supposed, and went to turn on the hot water.

x.

Their tub was not made for two people, certainly not two adult men, one of whom was rather tall. Still, they managed, mostly by being careful and watching the water level. That didn’t always work out, but Charles tried to keep the bathtub for bathing and the shower for other activities, if they were feeling particularly coordinated and adventurous for the sake of the floor. (Erik generally agreed with him although he’d once made a quip about not understanding, as the tub was the one they used for watersports and it arose, unbidden, from his memory every time they used it.)

He thought he’d succeeded in picking a good time to bathe this time around so that neither of them were in too much of a hurry to start up another round. He did have three fingers fit up inside of Erik, rubbing idly at his walls, but it was more for his comfort than an attempt to start anything serious. Charles was leaned up against the back of the tub with Erik collapsed up against his chest, sunk down in the water, laying between his legs and pushing back lazily against the penetration now and again. Mostly he was content with Charles’s slow thrusts.

It was warm and intimate, and Charles was glad for the moment of calm. Erik was lucid again it seemed, since he was mouthing against Charles’s neck. Charles had rinsed him off immediately even before he’d filled the tub but the image of Erik marked with his piss was still burned into his mind. Charles tried to shake it away, and decided to distract himself with something else that was bothering him.

“We should probably talk about what happened earlier,” he suggested, keeping his voice quiet and even.

Erik shifted, turning so he could speak most likely. Charles wrapped his free arm around him. “Which part?” Erik asked, seeming wary.

“The work part,” Charles was quick to indicate, although he wasn’t sure how much that was going to improve Erik’s opinion about the prospective conversation. He twisted his fingers slightly and Erik hissed. “I deflected it, but I probably shouldn’t have.”

“It wasn’t your worst subject change,” Erik commented, not seeming too irritated. He didn’t push Charles’s arm back or move away, only remained slumped against him. He did sigh after a moment. “You know I hate how much time this wastes.”

Charles knew he didn’t mean _this_ in particular, but it still stung a little. He clung onto Erik tighter. “I know. And I know it annoys you when I worry like that, but I can’t help it.” He ran his hand down Erik’s back in a long line, sliding it over the bumps in his spine, down to his lower back. He rubbed there and Erik arched up against him, causing the water to shift some. “It’s just that making your heats more difficult by working through them isn’t doing you any good. You’re making it harder on yourself. It’s like putting off a project you don’t want to do till the last minute. You still hate it but now you’re going to have to rush through it and feel nervous the whole time.”

Erik snorted. “Charles, we have to do something about your metaphors. They’re atrocious.”

“But I’m right!” Charles insisted. “At least in principle. It’d be better in the long run for you to soldier through this so you’re less tired afterward and can jump right back into your work. Besides, you’re not fooling me. You hate looking over reports.”

Erik’s shoulders hunched, probably because Charles was right. Erik complained constantly about the reports written by his subordinates which he had to read. Apparently they were “substanceless, nonsensical scribblings riddled with grammatical errors” that drove him up a wall more than the lacking content. Charles smiled at the thought, and let Erik parse that.

“I don’t like being controlled by it,” he eventually replied, more serious than Charles had expected. Charles resumed his slowing rubbing at Erik’s back. “It might make me tired, but at least I feel like I’m in control for a while.”

Charles nodded slowly. He couldn’t completely understand. Rut came and went more quickly, lasting a few days at the absolute most, sometimes only a few hours. He felt out of control during that time, but there was always an end in sight. Still, he did his best to sympathize. “I see.” Charles thought about it, trying to come up with some compromise. Erik rocked mindlessly on his fingers in the meantime. “Could you do something else?” he asked eventually. “Something not work, but still something you want to do. You could read a book or even cook something if you wanted.”

Erik seemed to consider that. Eventually he sighed. “Maybe.”

Charles kissed the top of his head and worked his fingers deeper a couple of times, making Erik shudder in his arms. “Just try it out. If not maybe we can schedule a couple of work hours toward the beginning of it and both of us can get a little overtime in.”

Erik nodded and Charles felt as though a bit of weight had been lifted off his chest. They laid in comfortable silence for a few minutes, letting the warm water drift around them, pushed by the slow movements of Charles’s arms.

“You know what you need?” Charles proposed eventually.

Erik huffed. “By all means, tell me.”

“You need Moira,” Charles suggested, only-half joking. “Well, not Moira specifically, but someone who’ll march into your house, heat or no heat, and take all your work away from you whether you like it or not so you can’t be tempted to do it. Maybe you could—”

“Charles,” Erik gritted out, interrupting him. “Shut up. Don’t talk about Moira with your fingers up my ass.”

Charles laughed. “What, you want me to take them out?” Erik retaliated by pushing up off of him, scowling.

“I have ten of my own,” he pointed out. “Why do I need yours?”

Charles knew he was only half-kidding, but a bit of panic rose up in his chest anyway as it always did when he thought about Erik getting sick of him, particularly when he was like this. So he pulled Erik back close to him, using the water to give him some leeway and crooked his fingers, pressing up against Erik’s prostate. Erik let out a breath in surprise and Charles kept rubbing at that spot.

“Because I can do this,” Charles said, pumping his fingers in and out more insistently.

Erik groaned and dropped his head down against his shoulder, pushing back onto Charles greedily. Charles was starting to feel his slick again, different in texture than the water, could smell him starting to give off those familiar pheromones again, could feel his own body reacting, still able to keep up with Erik somewhat. He hitched Erik up closer and pushed in another finger.

So much for keeping the floor dry.

xi.

“Don’t you ever get tired of it?” Erik asked abruptly, startling Charles.

It was midafternoon. The rest of the morning had passed with them moving to the shower to rinse off and then breaking out the chess set to pass some time. Erik won, but Charles put up a good fight, and the hours passed without them noticing. Charles had gone downstairs to get something to eat and had taken a peek at his phone while he was there. He left it out of sight and usually turned off, but he did try to at least glance at it a couple of times throughout the week to make sure nothing burned down in his absence.

There were some emails he’d have to handle later and a text from Raven, asking how everything was going.

[All’s well here.] he’d replied, figuring that ought to be good enough. Raven texted back almost immediately at a speed well beyond him. He never felt older than when he was trying to keep up a text conversation with her. He’d be in the midst of writing out a reply when she’d send yet another text and change the subject, making his half-finished response completely irrelevant.

(Still have enough time to text, huh?)

[It’s only the second day.]

(I purposefully make sure I don’t know what that means, remember)

Fair enough. Charles wondered if something might be wrong if she was bugging him like this. Part of him was desperate to get back up to Erik. Not being able to see him made him instinctively anxious even though he knew they were both perfectly safe and Erik would be fine without him for a while. He sat debating for a couple of seconds before he decided he ought to be a good big brother while he still had the mind for it and make sure.

[Is everything okay?]

There was a pause. No rapid fire texting. That meant no. Charles sighed. Now he was worried about Raven as well. He hoped it wasn’t something serious. Maybe she’d just gotten a bad grade on an exam. He went about making lunch while he waited for an explanation.

A couple of minutes later there was finally a reply. (Destiny and I had a fight.)

Ah. Raven had been dating a nice girl named Destiny for about three months and Charles was very happy for her, but they got into spats easily. Both of them were strong-willed and little arguments got out of hand. (Charles supposed he knew what that was like.) Time to steel himself to be the shoulder to cry on. He felt a little guilty he couldn’t actually see her at the moment, but there was nothing to be done about it. He’d do what he could from where he was.

[Want to talk about it?]

There was a couple seconds’ pause. (Aren’t you busy?)

He was, but he could spare a bit longer. If it really took a long time, he’d go back upstairs and let Erik know what was happening. [Not right now. Erik’s fine on his own. He’s probably happy to get me off his back for a while.]

(Ew can you not right now?)

Charles fumbled frantically with the keyboard to correct himself. [That’s not what I meant!!!]

Fifteen minutes later Raven seemed to be in better spirits. It had been something small, but Charles tried not to minimize it. Mostly he sat scrolling through page-long texts explaining in excruciating detail what had happened and tried to offer some placating words in between. That was apparently enough. She actually thanked him for it which was somewhat rare so he was glad he’d managed to be around for her.

Heading back upstairs he felt luckier than usual to be bonded, to have a partner to be with always. He and Erik had their disagreements, but it was never something that couldn’t be worked out. It was hard out there, trying to date with all the biology nonsense involved. It made it seem more like the end of the world when you broke up than it would have in the first place because there were so many pheromones floating around. Mating could be a territorial kind of thing without one meaning it to be as well and it could make it easy to get too attached too quickly.

To finally be settled was a blessing and one Charles hoped he’d never take advantage of.

He was still thinking more about Raven and her own romantic plights more than anything else when he returned so walking back into the thick of Erik’s heat caught him off-guard. Erik wasn’t any help either.

Erik wasn’t one to display much. He did when he was in deep heat and trying to get Charles to fuck him even when he’d just been knotted a few minutes prior, and sometimes when he lapsed into that more openly-sexual sort of mood he’d show off a little. It was always horribly attractive to see him confident like that, to watch him ask so openly with his body for what he wanted. Because of its relative rarity, it was surprising to find him as he was currently: sprawled out on the mattress, thighs spread carelessly, expertly draped like he’d been positioned by a photographer. If Charles looked down below where his cock lay he could see clearly the constant temptation that was puckered pink skin of his hole—which was no doubt purposeful.

Charles felt his mouth go dry and his face heat up, the constant pull of Erik’s body on his making itself known once more. Erik propped himself up on his elbows to look at Charles when he stepped into the room and Charles could see the flex of muscles under his skin as he moved, watched the motion hungrily.

All that plus the non sequitur made it so Charles really had no chance of responding intelligently. Thoughts of his sister flew out the window ( _Sorry Raven,_ he thought, but it was probably for the best) and he almost dropped the damn plate. “Do I ever get tired of what?”

Erik sank back down onto the bed, shifting. The sheets moved with him, curling up around the contours of his long limbs. “Fucking me,” Erik continued matter-of-factly. “Over and over again like this I mean.”

Charles’s eyebrows drew together. It was beyond him what Erik was talking about, but he couldn’t drag his eyes away to try and riddle it out with a clear head. “No,” he replied automatically because he didn’t. Of course he didn’t. He set the plate of food down—it could wait—and approached the bed slowly. “Where did this come from? What’s gotten into you since I’ve been gone?”

Erik shifted noticeably on the sheets and Charles felt a pang of guilt. Erik didn’t seem like he was in pain but maybe the stretch of time had bothered him, whether or not he’d be willing to admit it openly. He stepped closer to the bed, closing the space between them. “Well, you were gone for a while so I wondered. Usually I have to force you to get up and use the toilet.” That confirmed it.

“Raven and her girlfriend got into a fight,” Charles replied quickly, eager to explain himself. He wished Erik would look at him. He couldn’t tell if he was actually upset or not if he couldn’t see his eyes and right now they were closed, had been since he’d laid back down. “I was trying to calm her down a little.”

Erik made a small, semi-interested noise and did open his eyes at last. They were light, meaning he was only joking, but Charles worried there was some actual anxiety there that was underlying the question. He doubted Erik would acknowledge it, but it was something to maybe try to talk about at some point. Still, for now, he figured he’d let Erik drive the conversation. “Big brother to the rescue.” He huffed and stretched his arms out above him, arching his back and pushing his hips up in the process. Charles’s eyes slipped down not of his own volition. “I guess that’s a decent excuse. We did cancel her dinner plans after all.”

Charles wondered what to do now. Mostly he wanted to leap on Erik and ravish him. He was all laid out, prime for the taking after all, and he kept showing himself off like he wanted Charles to notice. (As if he could ignore it.) Charles could still see how loose he was even now, even without touching him. And god, he wanted to touch him, wanted to kiss every inch of him in apology, but he found he wanted to ask something first.

“Do you?” he asked, playing along a little. “Get tired of it I mean.”

Erik’s eyes were on him again, seeming a little caught off-guard himself. He appeared to consider it. Charles stepped up so his thighs were pressed up against the bed, positioned so he was in between Erik’s legs again where he’d been dangling them over the side. He lifted them up on either side of his hips, holding them underneath Erik’s calves. Erik squeezed around him, more or less trapping him where he stood, stretching his legs the rest of the way out, and Charles used his newly freed hands to run up and down the length of them, up from his ankles to the swell of his thighs and back.

“Maybe sometimes,” Erik finally replied, voice lower than before. Before Charles could get too worked up over that, he caught the way the corners of Erik’s mouth were twitching like they wanted to curl up but he was fighting it. “It gets a little old. There’s no romance to it.”

Charles choked back a laugh. “So it’s romance you want, is it?” Charles asked, purposefully not thinking about how silly this all was. There was no logic to a heat, and there was nothing they could do about it, but that didn’t meant they couldn’t pretend otherwise for a little while longer.

Erik lost the battle with his expression and his lips curled up. Charles desperately wanted to bite that self-satisfied little smirk right off his mouth. “Mm,” he hummed. “Care to give it a try?”

Charles thought he’d be more than happy to, ready to return the favor of going along with something like this the same way Erik had earlier that morning. He sank down to his knees in front of Erik almost automatically. Erik let his legs drop down when he felt Charles go and he curled up to watch him again. Charles met his eyes steadily. “Whatever you like, darling.”

Erik laughed. “That’s a start.”

Charles didn’t let him go for long, catching one of his ankles again and bending so he could press a kiss against the sole of his foot soon after. Erik’s toes curled and he made a small noise, but he wasn’t too ticklish there so he stayed put otherwise. Charles moved up to press another up against the bone of his ankle, then nosed up his shin. He went slow, kept his touch light even as he squeezed at his calf as he went, tracing out Erik’s body. Erik did jerk when he kissed him again underneath his knee, pressing his leg back to get at the incredibly soft skin there, made an irritated sort of noise. Charles nipped there once just to tease but soon moved on.

He trailed up over his thigh, feeling the muscle there, mouthing lightly at the inside of it. Erik shifted, let out another soft noise, part amused, part satisfied by Charles’s careful exploration. Erik liked to be touched like this sometimes, gentle and thorough, anywhere and everywhere Charles could reach, but most of the time it made him impatient and he only put up with it for so long. Charles was happy to be given the opportunity to do this at all.

He liked Erik’s legs, a lot because that was where most of his height came from. Charles had always liked his partners taller for whatever reason. Charles thought he didn’t pay them enough attention. Erik was built like a runner, all efficient use of space. His limbs were long, but not gangly. There was lean, hard muscle under the skin that helped to fill them out, to define if you looked closely enough. If Charles pressed he could feel the strength hidden under his skin.

There was a scar right near the jut of his hip bone, sharp and defined where his stomach sank down, that he’d gotten in a fight when he was younger that Charles paid special attention to when he reached it. He caught sight of Erik’s fingers curling in the sheets and affection seized his chest. He loved knowing Erik this way, completely, every mark, every curve, every declivity. Charles thought he was like a puzzle he was always trying to solve by inspecting each piece, wondering how it was that all of them came together the way they did, so perfectly. Charles didn’t think he’d ever find the answer, but he liked to try.

Doing something like this always made him feel a little lightheaded from how much Erik made him feel, so he ran his teeth carefully over Erik’s hipbone before he went back down, starting over again on the other leg, trying to refocus.

Erik grumbled something that sounded oddly like a complaint, shifting slightly but not stopping him, and Charles paused where he was, down at his ankle again. “Were you wanting me to sweet-talk you as well?” he asked rather than acknowledge his usual contradictory impatience. “That’d be rather romantic.”

“I doubt I’d be able to stop you if I tried,” Erik replied, like he wasn’t the one who’d started this.

Charles bit back a smile and kept on, letting his hold on his tongue loose, allowing the words to flow out where he’d been thinking them anyway. “You’re so gorgeous,” he murmured, lips up against Erik’s skin. “I want to kiss every inch of you every time I see you. Want to every time you beat me at chess. Want to every time I hear you laugh. Want to every time you say my name and look at me like that.”

He’d gotten back up high enough to see Erik’s face again. There was a dark flush to his cheeks that hadn’t been there before, Charles noted, not without some pride. Erik could deny it all he wanted but he was never completely averse to hearing Charles say things like that. “Look at you how?” Erik asked, glancing down at him.

Charles bit back a groan, arousal curling hot like fire in his stomach. “Just like that. Like you know how good you look and exactly what you’re doing to me. Like you’re going to get just what you want because you know I’ll give it to you.” He swallowed hard, trying to keep his mouth from feeling so dry. “Like you own me.”

“That’s because I do.” Erik said it with a breathtaking amount of certainty, his voice gone ragged around the edges. His eyes were still electric hot and dark with arousal, fixed unerringly on Charles—and it was far more than he could bear.

Charles made a desperate noise he couldn’t fight back and surged up to kiss him, unable to help himself. It started out sloppy and frantic and Erik fisted his hands back in his hair, but Charles forced himself to slow it back down after a few seconds, to keep it slow, purposeful. Erik groaned and bit at his lip, but Charles didn’t relent, kissing him deeply. After a momentary struggle, Erik gave in to it, let Charles’s tongue back into his mouth to slide over his own. Charles brought his hands up to cup at Erik’s face, holding him steady and feeling the warmth in his cheeks.

He pulled back to gasp for air, too far gone to remember to breathe through his nose. The way Erik looked when he did, however, made him think that it might be worth it to suffocate. His eyes were a little glassy, but he was still looking at him with clear intent. It really was a possessive, knowing kind of look that made Charles ache all over. He was helpless against it, completely powerless, and he wouldn’t want it any other way.

Charles ducked back down to try to get ahold of himself some, pressing his lips to the lovely hollow of Erik’s neck, mouthing at the skin there, not marking like he normally would, holding back. “I’d do anything you asked if you looked at me like that.”

“Anything, hm?” Erik asked and Charles could feel his vocal chords buzz under his lips. “That’s a dangerous precedent to set.”

Charles followed the sharp edge of Erik’s jaw up to his ear, running his lips over the skin like before. “Anything,” Charles insisted. “I’d give you the moon, if you wanted it.”

Erik snorted, but didn’t protest the cheesy misquote. “What would I want that for?”

Charles blew a quick raspberry against his neck in reprimand. Erik swatted at him, squirming to get away. It wasn’t much, but it was friction and it made Charles painfully aware of how hard both of them were. Erik’s smell was beyond intoxicating. Holding back like this was surely some sort of torture, but he was determined to go through with it, if this was what Erik wanted. His body was urging him on, but there was always some pleasure in waiting just a little longer. For Erik, he would resist.

Charles caught Erik’s eyes again. “What _do_ you want?”

He could feel Erik’s cock twitch against him and Erik let out a shaky sort of breath. The unbreakable composure he wore sometimes was nowhere to be found and Charles drank it in. He loved it when Erik let his emotions show like this, when he didn’t try to hide it. His expression was open, his desire clear in the way his eyelids were heavy and his lips were parted. “I want you to kiss me,” Erik eventually demanded, the words rough and desperate.

Charles was happy to oblige. The longer this went on the more it was beyond him how Erik could have asked him what he had before. He would never get tired of this. He could kiss Erik forever and it wouldn’t be enough, could hold him like this, touch him, listen to him make those deep satisfied sounds in his chest for an eternity. Anything to make Erik feel good, to make him ask for more, to see the way he looked and sounded when he came, completely shattered and sated.

Erik broke it off the second time, scooting so he was on the bed properly. Charles hurried after him and started off down his neck the way he’d been tracing out his legs, mouthing down along one arm, over the curve of his shoulder, all the way to his palm, slow and intimate.

“Is this how you would have done it that first night we met?” Erik asked as he was mouthing over the hard muscle of his forearm. “If I’d convinced you to fuck me instead.”

Charles felt another jolt of arousal at the memory. That night was still so fresh in his mind, right on the surface. It’d taken quite a bit of nerve for him to go over and try to talk to Erik. He’d seen him at the bar a couple of times, always on his own, always unfairly handsome. Charles couldn’t keep his eyes off him, so he’d bit the bullet and risked rejection. It’d paid off, clearly.

“Yes,” he husked, taking Erik’s hand in both of his, tracing over each of his fingers. “If you’d have let me I would have. I didn’t know if I’d ever get to see you again at that point. I would have taken all the time I could have, gone slow, just like this, touched you everywhere, learned you as much as could with the time I had so I could remember later.”

Erik sighed, seemingly pleased with that answer. Charles pressed a kiss into his palm and moved to his other arm. “I remember the way you looked that night. I couldn’t look away. I spent the whole night working up the courage to go up to you.”

“Did you?” Erik seemed genuinely curious even though Charles could have sworn he’d told him that before. He was probably just playing along.

“Yes,” he admitted anyway, defecting halfway down to get back at Erik’s neck. “When I finally did, you didn’t seem to want me around that much, but you didn’t get rid of me either, so I kept at it. Found out soon enough that you were far more than a pretty face.” He sighed. He’d wondered that whole night how long he’d be allowed to keep talking to this man, how long he’d be granted the privilege. It’d seemed too good to be true. Erik was so smart, so unflinching. He made his points well, he didn’t back down. Charles had thought, _This man could take on the world if he wanted to and anyone would be hard pressed to stop him_. And Charles was fine going to bed with someone he only found attractive physically, but nothing got to him like someone with an interesting mind. “I could have talked with you until morning. You drove me crazy, the way you were stubborn over every point.”

“And you weren’t?” Erik demanded, hitching him up closer, hands sliding over his skin a bit clumsily. Charles moved, going to nip at his jugular.

He had a point. “Still. God, and then you invited me back and I couldn’t believe it. Thought I must be dreaming.” Charles didn’t think he’d ever been attracted to someone the way he’d been attracted to Erik. It hit him so hard, so fast that he’d almost been frightened by the force of it. “I remember practically begging you for your number on the way back. I was sure I seemed pathetic, but I couldn’t help it. You didn’t pay me any mind either.”

Erik laughed, tugging at Charles so he’d look up at him again. Erik was smiling and it made Charles’s heart skip a beat. He looked so lovely, lit up by the midday sun drifting into their room, genuinely happy to be reminiscing like this. Charles thought that he should feel strange. This wasn’t what heats were like. It wasn’t supposed to be slow, they weren’t supposed to be taking their time. But he found he didn’t really care. This was just as good as the hasty coupling that constituted most of this time, maybe even better. As long as Erik looked like that, he knew they were doing something right.

“I couldn’t believe you were worried about something like that at the time,” Erik insisted. “All I could think about was getting your clothes off so you’d stop trying to change my mind on the finer points of biological determinism.”

“Guess I needn’t have worried,” Charles laughed, nuzzling up against Erik’s cheek. “I stopped thinking about it pretty soon afterward if it makes you feel any better.”

Erik hitched a leg up around his waist and he was reminded again of the position they were in. Charles kissed at Erik’s cheek before trailed back down his chest, going for his nipples. Whatever Erik was going to say was lost in a groan as Charles kneaded one of the nubs with his lips, twisting the other between his fingers. He sucked and licked at it intently and Erik all but writhed beneath him. He was sensitive there to the point where he didn’t like being touched because it was too much. Almost the only time Charles get away with it was when he was in heat and willing to take it.

One then the other, then down to Erik’s stomach, kissing his ribs on the way, all the way down until he hit a rather fantastic road block. Erik finally found his voice again. “You saw something you liked, was it?”

“I did,” Charles breathed before taking Erik’s cock into his mouth.

Erik groaned and started pulling on his hair again, his hips tilting ambivalently as if unsure whether the stimulation was good or too much. Charles pulled back either way to lick up the length of it. It was incredibly rare for Erik to let Charles suck him off during a heat, but Charles always missed it. He liked taking Erik down his throat like this, liked to take him apart slowly with only his lips and tongue. He thought he’d gotten pretty good at it over the years.

Even now, in the midst of whatever it was they were doing, he knew he wouldn’t have much time. Still, he’d take what he could get. He’d gone down on him that first night too, unable to help himself. If he hadn’t been so set on getting Erik inside him, he would have been elated to get him off like that, take it down his throat or over his face even. (And who could blame him with Erik looking the way he did?) As it was, he was glad he’d held back. Erik had made it more than worth it, and he’d ended up getting his chance soon enough anyway.

“Charles,” Erik groaned, yanking on his hair more forcefully.

That seemed about right timing-wise. Charles lapped at the slit one more time a little wistfully before he pulled back, kissing above his navel apologetically. He let one of his hands start to wander down finally, down between Erik’s thighs where he could start rubbing his thumb along his perineum. Erik’s eyes slipped shut and he dropped his head back. He pushed his hips up toward Charles, trying to get his hand where he wanted it.

“What would you like now, love?” Charles asked, keeping his free hand steady on Erik’s thigh.

“Fuck me,” Erik gasped, his answer immediate. “Fuck, Charles, fuck me already before I soak through the damn sheets.”

Charles laughed although Erik wasn’t exaggerating too much. His skin was slick and hot so close to his hole. He couldn’t stop himself from bending to quickly run his tongue over it in a long stripe. The sound Erik made when he did was utterly wrecked. “Had enough of romance?” he asked even as he gave in, moving so he could press two fingers in deep, all the way to the knuckles.

He had to clench his teeth when he did so he wouldn’t make some embarrassingly loud noise. He was glad he’d kept away so far because now that he could feel again how hot and wet Erik really was he knew he wouldn’t be able to last much longer. He was already painfully hard. He couldn’t imagine how Erik was feeling, or even understand how he was holding back the way he was. It was practically heroic.

“Not at all,” Erik gritted out. “You, Charles Xavier, had best fuck me nicely. Show me how you’d have done it that first night and get your dick in me _right now_.”

That was, more or less, how Erik tended to beg, so Charles took the hint, hoping he could hold on well enough to do as he was told. He pushed Erik’s legs back slowly, exposing him further, and letting him stay as he was on his back. Charles spread his fingers once, twice, three times before he eased them out, but ran his thumb once more over his entrance before he went to line up.

Touching himself was almost more painful than not, but he did his best to overlook that. His blood was singing, his whole body urging him to push in already, but he only rubbed the head of his cock up against Erik’s hole in a tease, watching the way his rim stretched around him already.

Erik swore again, throwing his head back against the mattress, his body strung tight like an instrument ready to be played. “Not that nicely,” he grumbled, so Charles started to ease his way in.

It was incredibly difficult to move slowly, but he forced it the best he could. It wasn’t a smooth motion—they’d taken too much time building it up for that to be the case—but it was close enough. Once he was in he stopped, acting like Erik had to adjust at all, like he hadn’t just taken him all at once with little to no preparation, magnificent as ever. Erik’s breathing had sped up and Charles leaned down to press an ear up against his chest to listen to his heart beat, gritting his teeth against the way the change in position forced him to slide out just slightly.

Erik wrapped his arms around his back in the meantime and for a second they breathed together. But then Erik was urging him on again—“ _Move_ , Charles”—so he finally allowed himself to pull out slow and press back in deep, a steady rocking sort of motion. Charles clung to his self-control by focusing on the idea of making love to Erik like he would have that first night, back when he didn’t know how he liked it, when he didn’t know the kinds of sounds he’d make, or how blissed out he looked when Charles first pushed in, or the way it felt to be pressed so deep inside of him, buried completely in that tight, slick heat.

He moved carefully, taking his time, relishing every stroke. Erik reacted spectacularly, arching up underneath him and moving his hips in time. The flush on his cheeks had spread down to his chest and sweat was gathering in the dip above his collarbone. Charles moved to lap it up, keeping up the excruciating sort of friction such a slow pace brought when Erik was so slick. His head spun from it all, and he felt a bit like they might be the only two people in the world right now.

“I thought about this, you know,” he muttered, up against Erik’s neck again, suddenly determined that he know. “That first night. Thought about how you’d look in heat, slick and open and begging for it. How could I not?” Erik only responded with a keening sort of sound and Charles couldn’t help but speed up just a little. “Thought about how you’d smell, how you’d taste, how you’d want me to fuck you. You’d be so wet for me, just like this.” Charles couldn’t help but let the words tumble out. He’d wanted everything with Erik that first night, and now he had it, and no matter how long it was that he did that thought was always overwhelming. “I wondered if you’d let me knot you. Will you?” Maybe it was superfluous, but the lines between past and present were going a little blurry in his mind. “Will you let me tie you, lovely?”

Erik groaned, a frustrated kind of noise and squeezed impatiently around Charles. “Yes, _yes_ , god—” Erik cut himself off with another sound and Charles gave up being nice to fuck into him with purpose, good and hard, like he knew they both wanted. Erik let his legs fall all the way open when he did, down off Charles’s hips, flat out on the bed, and clung to him, digging his nails in. Charles moved his hands down to push up under his thighs, holding them up to give himself better access.

Charles lost track of coherent thought for a moment, too caught up in the relief of finally being able to move the way he’d wanted to for a while and in the way Erik was letting himself be taken, completely pliant underneath him, groaning his pleasure for Charles to hear. It was further evidenced by Erik suddenly coming a few moments later, gasping his name and freezing beneath him, a sight as always when he did.

It took all of his willpower, but Charles forced himself to stop, to let Erik finish without him moving so he wouldn’t overstimulate him. His skin practically burned and his cock throbbed, but he held still, stayed where he was, biting at the inside of his cheek. He was met with Erik’s gaze a few seconds later, sharp and irritated.

“Why the fuck did you stop?” he demanded, a bit more upset than Charles would have expected from someone who’d just orgasmed.

“Just trying to be considerate,” Charles forced out.

“If you were being considerate, you’d have knotted me by now,” Erik snapped, starting to work his hips himself, greedy and determined and completely assured in what he wanted and how he was going to get it. Charles gave up the charade and picked up his pace again, unable to think of a time when he wanted Erik more than when he was like this.

Charles lasted almost an almost embarrassingly short amount of time after that, thrusting with no discernable rhythm but a desperate kind of speed and force, but Erik didn’t seem to care. He just groaned, long and relieved when Charles stilled, pressing up decisively against him, and yanked him down onto his chest right afterward, tilting his head to one side pointedly. Charles marked him there, sinking his teeth in, vicious in a way he hadn’t been at all thus far. Erik sighed, long and breathless.

Charles lapped at the wound when he was done. “You’re mine,” he growled before he could think about it. Maybe it was all the reminiscing about back when they hadn’t been bonded, or maybe it was the just the heat, but he almost couldn’t help it. This handsome, intelligent, stubborn, passionate man he’d met at a bar by chance was his mate, and he was desperate for everyone to know it, especially Erik.

“Yes,” Erik breathed and the way it was almost automatic made Charles lean in to bite him again.

His knot lasted a long time, longer than usual. It took them a while to recuperate and afterward neither of them seemed inclined to speak much beyond exchanging some quiet, well-worn words of affection. Eventually though Erik got a little restless.

“That’s more than enough romance for me,” he grumbled in between where he’d taken to nipping at Charles’s shoulder. “From now on just fuck me and get it over with.”

Charles shook his head, disbelieving. “How will have enough time to tell you how much I adore every inch of you and recount the entire tale of our first meeting if I do that?”

Erik scoffed. “That’s not allowed either. I’d rather you go on about how badly you want to breed me. That’ll at least get you to tie us more efficiently.”

Heat furled in Charles’s stomach in spite of everything, and he pushed up into Erik, as if trying to work his knot in deeper. Erik grumbled something unkind about alphas, but Charles ignored it. There wasn’t anything anyone could do to dampen his mood at that point. (Besides, Erik was in just as good of a mood, meaning he was working twice as hard not to show it.) If he didn’t think Erik would pinch him or the like if he told him that he loved him one more time, Charles would be sure to do it. As it was, he went for a simple, “Whatever you want.”

xii.

“What were they fighting about this time?” Erik asked.

Charles hitched him up closer and Erik went obligingly, settling further in the circle of his arms. He’d gotten to the point where he was wanting some sort of contact constantly, so the two of them were wrapped around each other, curled up in the mess that was their bed which Charles hadn’t yet had a chance to do anything about. Erik’s complaints about the knot had been more position-based than wanting-to-move-based apparently, since he’d just adjusted after it went down and clung onto Charles anyway.

Charles idly stroked Erik’s bond mark with his thumb. “Living arrangements, I think? Destiny wants them to move in together but Raven likes her apartment.”

Erik hummed and nuzzled at Charles’s neck. It tickled a little because he hadn’t wanted to shave earlier so Charles brought a hand up to make him stop even if he didn’t mind the affectionate gesture in theory. “That sounds familiar.”

“Mhm.” Charles could remember having an almost identical argument, probably more than once when he and Erik were first dating. “Took me a whole year to convince you and that was only after you left your briefcase at mine one day and couldn’t find it after you’d gone home to get ready for work.”

“I was sick of you leaving your things everywhere too. I had more of your socks in my drawer than mine.”

Charles scoffed. “That was your own fault. You kept your apartment below freezing half the time. I had to take precautions so I wouldn’t get hypothermia.”

“Books everywhere too,” Erik continued, guiding one of Charles’s hands back down to the lower curve of his back. Charles set it there and rubbed, and Erik pushed back against the pressure automatically. “You were phoning me constantly asking if I knew where one was.”

“That was on purpose,” Charles pointed out. “If I left one there then I’d have to come over to get it back. It was a good excuse to drop by without openly propositioning you. Surely you didn’t think I just went about my day toting an armful of books around, did you? Those were purposeful sacrifices.”

Erik pulled back to frown at him. “There’s no way I slept with you every time you came over to pick something up.”

Charles grinned at him, reaching down further to grope at his ass. “Just most of them. It was quite a good trick.”

Erik shoved him over so he could get on top, pushing him down into the mattress and scowling at him.

Charles laughed and held up his hands in surrender. “What else was I supposed to do? You wouldn’t go in on an apartment with me and I wanted to see you all the time. I had to get creative.”

“You’re ridiculous.” In spite of himself, Erik was already pressing his face back into Charles’s neck, pressing the length of his body up against him, letting Charles take his weight. Charles went back to rubbing his back.

“It takes time to get used to it,” Erik eventually muttered. “To the idea of giving up your space when you want it. Eventually you realize that it wouldn’t be so bad to have that other person in it, but there’s an adjustment period that you need to wait out.”

Charles nodded. It wasn’t like he was actually still upset over it. “Maybe you should talk to her, if it’s still going on when this is over. If you would. I think you’d probably be able to sympathize with her more easily than me. Part of me still doesn’t get why she’s making such a big deal out of it.”

Erik snorted. “I will, especially if that’s how you’re thinking. I doubt she’ll listen to me but—”

“What do you mean?” Charles nudged Erik back so he could look at him, but Erik wasn’t meeting his eyes. He gave up consequently, pulling him back into an embrace. “She loves you. She might like to pretend otherwise but she looks up to you, Erik. She’s more likely to take your advice than mine half the time.”

Erik seemed to turn that over in his head for a few seconds. “I’ll talk to her after this if she’s still upset.”

Charles kissed the top of his head. “Thank you. I’m sure it’d help.”

Erik muttered something, as if he wasn’t sure, but Charles didn’t feel like it was necessary to argue his point when it was undeniably true. Erik was a part of their family, and Raven really had gotten attached to him, no matter how much she poked fun at him or denied it. With their parents gone, Charles felt a responsibility to take care of her—whether she liked it or thought she needed it or not—and Erik had stepped right into that role alongside him, as if he’d always belonged there. It was nice to have help. He knew he was Raven’s brother, not her father, but sometimes he needed to be a little of both and that could be difficult. Sometimes she refused to listen to him because they were siblings, so having another voice of guidance in Erik was invaluable. Erik was wonderful with her and Charles was ecstatic they got along most of the time.

“Where’d they meet again?” Erik asked.

Charles had to think back further than he usually did to remember. “Class, I think it was. Maybe a project?”

Erik made an affirmative noise, then propped his chin on Charles’s chest so he could look at him again, reaching up to card a hand through his hair. Charles let him do it, leaned in to the touch. “No sleazy bars for her, hm?”

Charles rolled his eyes at him. “It wasn’t that sleazy.”

“I remember that night too,” Erik continued suddenly, turning to set his cheek down instead. Charles was a little surprised to hear he was still on that, but let him keep going. “I saw you watching me. I was wondering if you’d come over.”

“Planning your escape route, were you?” Charles asked, mostly because he knew it was true.

Erik made a noncommittal sort of noise. “You said you were working up the courage to come over but you were confident as anything when you did.”

“I’ve always been good at bluffing,” Charles pointed out. Moreover, while Erik tended to simply put his middle finger up at anyone who said anything about him not possessing some stereotypical omega trait and get on with his life, Charles had gone the route of learning to pretend to make up for it. If he knew something was missing he tended to overcompensate for it, try and make it so no one would notice. Usually it worked. Erik caught him doing it more than anyone else now, but apparently it’d been enough to fool even him at first.

“I almost got rid of you a couple of times,” Erik admitted, piquing Charles’s interest since he hadn’t heard that before in so many words. It made him nervous to think about it, even if it was in the past.

“Why didn’t you?” he asked anyway.

Erik hummed and let the silence stretch for a long moment wherein Charles realized they still hadn’t eaten and got irritated at himself for not noticing sooner. Finally he replied, “I guess you surprised me. I couldn’t tell you were an alpha from across the room, or even until I managed to get a better scent on you a bit later. You didn’t show it off. You didn’t talk to me like I was just a hole to fuck, and a willing one at that. You didn’t scare easily even when I was trying. I didn’t catch you looking down too much and when I did I didn’t mind it. Plus I had to keep you around so I could have enough time to prove how wrong half your opinions were.”

Charles scoffed at him even as he felt his cheeks heating up, hearing Erik talk like that. It probably wasn’t the first time they’d talked about this, but they weren’t _that_ old yet that they did it very often or in much detail. It felt like it had just happened a week ago sometimes, time moved so quickly. Charles always felt half like he’d known Erik his whole life and half like he’d fallen in puppy love with him a couple of days earlier. There was a fondness in Erik’s voice, an honesty to it that got to him.

“Your ass looked pretty good in your jeans that night too,” Erik added and Charles tried to laugh so he wouldn’t do something ridiculous like tear up.

“I’m glad it at least got a mention. I’d hate to think that I squeezed myself into them for you to not even notice the effort.”

Erik reached down to grab at said ass possessively, his lips curling up again, enough to show off his teeth. “I noticed.”

Charles yanked him up then to kiss him, pressing up against him urgently. Erik’s mouth was soft and warm and yielding under his. When he pulled back he tucked his head back under Charles’s chin and seemed to settle there. Charles was glad to keep him close.

“They’ll get through this,” Erik declared suddenly. “They’re good together. If they’re willing to put in the effort, it’ll all blow over.”

Charles wasn’t sure what had brought on his sudden optimism, but he didn’t feel like questioning it. “I think so too.”

Erik seemed to be settling in for a while afterward, but Charles wasn’t quite ready to let him. “Did you want to eat the lunch I brought?” Over an hour later, but it was only sandwiches, so they’d still be alright.

Erik sighed like he wasn’t the one who’d initiated this or had them up in the middle of the night before. Charles didn’t point that out. Erik was beyond his reprimand for the time being. “I suppose.”


	4. day three/four

xiii.

Day three marked the true end of any sort of consistent lucidity for Erik. The rest of the previous day had been about the same as the first. Maybe Erik was a little more demanding throughout the night, but otherwise he’d talk and respond and eat and get up to go to the bathroom of his own free will. That morning though, Charles could tell almost immediately that something was different, that a shift had occurred.

It was bound to happen sooner or later. As far as Charles had observed, there were approximately five stages to Erik’s heats. The first was before it started when he was irritated about it happening at all, which usually put him in a bad mood and made him more confrontational than usual. The second was when he accepted it and made it incredibly difficult to not start early as the pheromones started up without any of the less desirable consequences. The third was the start of his heat which they’d been going through these last couple of days. At that point, he was lucid, needing stimulation intermittently.

The fourth would start now. Erik would start to drift in and out, sometimes himself, sometimes more controlled by his body. It was probably one of the more difficult to deal with. Charles had to pay very close attention so he could differentiate between the two, swapping between caring for Erik when needed and not annoying him accidentally otherwise. The fifth would probably come later that day when Erik went into deep heat and would have to rely completely on Charles. That one brought its own set of challenges, but Charles didn’t like to think about that too early if he could help it.

Charles supposed if anything could be said about stage four it was that it marked the approximate halfway point of the heat, not that they didn’t have a long way to go yet, but it was something. Charles could tell by Erik’s scent specifically that he’d been further consumed by it, and also by the way the other man was curled against him still when he woke up rather than giving Charles his space to sleep which was usually the case.

He moaned quietly, awakening when Charles did, and rolled over onto his stomach, clumsy in his haste. “Charles,” he whined, still seeming half asleep. There was a strain in his voice that hadn’t been there before that Charles recognized as discomfort, maybe bordering on pain.

That was the real marker. Erik was getting to the point where he physically needed some sort of stimulation—preferably a knot but Charles wouldn’t always be able to keep up with his pace, in which case toys could suffice because something was better than nothing—to keep him from being in pain. Erik had described the difference to Charles a couple of times. The way he explained it made it seem like the difference between a cramp and fresh cut. One was duller, could be ignored if necessary. The other one required immediate attention.

Charles forced himself to lurch into motion. No easing into consciousness for him that morning. The only thing he did before sliding back into Erik was press a quick kiss against his bond mark. Foreplay wasn’t going to be a luxury they could afford for much longer and especially in the mornings like this. It was a little disheartening after the good times they’d been having together the past couple of days, but it was worth it to be efficient when Erik let out a long sigh of relief at the first thrust.

Charles worked quickly, ignoring the way the muscles in his lower back and hips were already beginning to ache, to get Erik knotted. It worked well enough, although it usually became more difficult as time went on and the frequency of their coupling would need to increase. Charles had always wondered what the hell had gone wrong in evolution that made it so alphas didn’t have even the slightest chance at keeping up with omegas late in their heat. It seemed like a pretty huge oversight if you asked him.

Erik had suggested that historically omegas took multiple partners to get them through it, so Charles had stopped complaining to him about it after that, even if he was probably right.

Erik was still out of it while they waited out the knot, but at least he wasn’t uncomfortable. Afterward Charles thought they should probably eat something and Erik followed him downstairs this time. He thought about trying to get him to stay, but decided it was probably alright, although he did sling an arm around his waist to lend some extra support. He didn’t want him hurting himself.

It took until after breakfast for Erik to seem coherent again. He shook himself slightly and rubbed at his temples, pulling his weight off of Charles some. He sighed and Charles offered him an apologetic smile.

“See you again in a few days, was it?” he asked, leaning his head back on Charles’s shoulder after all.

Charles wrapped an arm back around him and squeezed.

It was something of a joke between them but there was some truth to it. Erik at any other time was so completely in control of himself, so articulate, so self-reliant that during heats he could seem like an entirely different person. The closest comparison Charles could make was sometimes when Erik had had a little too much to drink and was also on the verge of falling asleep. Most of his walls fell down and he was more complacent than at any other time. Even that was a little different, but it was better than nothing to serve as a point of reference.

Charles thought that this was the closest he’d ever come to understanding why Erik disliked his heats so much outside of the fact that they could be painful if handled improperly. It wasn’t pleasant, watching him feel so completely unlike himself. It could even be a bit strange for Charles himself. As much as Raven might tease him, and as much as he might have some occasional gripes himself, he liked Erik just the way he was, thank you very much.

Still, they’d get through it. They’d done it many times before and would many times after until Erik either went out of season or finally bit the bullet and decided to start taking heat suppressants after all. Having a dreary outlook on it wasn’t going to accomplish much. So Charles shifted, scooting out from under Erik a bit so he could get up on his knees, swing around, and deposit himself into Erik’s lap.

Erik looked up at him as if trying to figure out what the hell he was doing. “I might be able to get it up for you at least, but I really think your efforts would be better spent elsewhere today,” he joked.

Charles rolled his eyes. “I’m not trying to start anything. You really think I have enough energy for that right now? Me sitting in your lap doesn’t always mean I want to ride you.”

“Just usually.” Erik’s hands slipped around to squeeze at his behind and Charles scooched away irritably, only half-feigning his offense. The hands were retracted some, settling back on his hips, and Charles settled more completely, resting his hands on Erik’s shoulders.

He leaned forward to start kissing at the marks he’d made so far during the course of the week, dotting Erik’s neck. Some were light, barely showing, and some, where he’d actually used his teeth, were more of a purple color, standing out stark against his skin. “It’s only a couple of days,” he murmured, trying to reassure Erik. “Then things can get back to normal.”

Erik sighed and let his head fall back, resting against the headboard. He brought his hands up to rub at Charles’s back and, oh, that felt nice, pressure on where he was sore. “I know. That doesn’t make it any less annoying right now.”

Charles pulled back to shoot him a disapproving look. “I’m trying to be positive. Stop being realistic and negating it.”

“Never.” Erik yanked him up and in so their mouths met again, with more teeth than was probably entirely necessary but Charles hadn’t been ready for it. It was a playful kiss, but Erik pressed up against him with a little bit more force than usual. Charles took it as a thank you.

When they parted Erik shifted underneath him, his expression scrunching back up into irritation. “I’m probably going to need to get something to help with this soon.”

Charles frowned. “Is it bad? I could probably—”

“It’s fine,” Erik cut him off, deflecting with little effort. “I’d rather you save whatever you have left in you for later. But if you go get it for me, I’ll let you clean me up a little.”

Charles hastened to get to his feet, ignoring how Erik laughed at him. He walked over toward their closet to grab the box where they kept most of their toys when they weren’t using them. “Which one do you want?”

Erik hummed indecisively while Charles got it down. “Just bring it over.”

Charles did, setting it down next to Erik and clambering back onto the mattress himself to peruse it with him. Erik dug around a little carelessly in the box. He was a little skittish around toys sometimes, but right now there was really no point in being embarrassed. In the end he grabbed a couple of plugs of varying size and a purple toy that looked familiar.

“Isn’t that mine?” Charles asked, setting the box on the floor and pushing it aside. Probably no point in putting it away right now.

Erik gave him an unimpressed sort of look. “Do we really need to get separate boxes? It’s not like you need it right now and it’s clean anyway. Do I have to ask permission to borrow it?”

Charles had only meant to imply that it was a little bigger than Erik usually liked, but he dropped the topic after that, more interested in his reward than debating it. He was already salivating a little at the thought of getting his mouth back between Erik’s legs and trying to hide it the best he could. Erik shook his head at his eagerness, glancing over at the clock and parting his thighs carelessly, looking impressively unaffected. He scooted a little further down the bed while he was at it, grabbing one of the plugs as he went and offering it to Charles. “Ten minutes. Then this.”

Charles didn’t need to be told twice, setting the toy aside for the time being, and getting back down on his stomach. He fully planned on making the most of the time that he had. Erik’s slightly relieved sigh, not so different from the one earlier, was a little reassuring. They weren’t at the point of no return quite yet after all.

xiv.

Erik was nesting again. This time he was doing it openly, unperturbed by Charles’s presence. Charles watched him work out of the corner of his eye, watched the careful movements of his hands while he finished up his own task. He’d brought up food and water for the remainder of the week and was storing it in the room so he wouldn’t have to go up and down the stairs. It saved time and effort on his part, but it was mostly because he wouldn’t be able to stop Erik from following him soon enough and Erik really didn’t need to be moving so much.

They had a mini-fridge they kept shoved in a closet normally that they used for heats, so he’d drug that out and plugged it in. It didn’t hold much but it was good for a couple of days. He was just organizing it at the moment, fitting everything in. He didn’t want to spend too much time away from Erik, even across the room.

So, he worked quickly and when he looked up Erik was watching him, having apparently completed what he was doing. He was flushed all the way down to his chest, his eyes bright even if they weren’t quite as focused as usual. When he saw Charles was looking he shifted automatically, turning over so he was back on his knees, perking his ass up, and looking over his shoulder at Charles expectantly. It was such an earnest look that Charles had to bite back a laugh. Instead he opted to shake his head incredulously.

“Already?” he asked, only meaning it to be part-rhetorical. “It’s been fifteen minutes at the most.”

Erik frowned at him and dropped his chest down so it was resting on the mattress, making an irritated noise. He didn’t move from where he was so Charles guessed that meant yes. Charles forced himself to his feet so he could move back over toward the bed, climbing on and draping himself over Erik who gave a breathy sort of whine, pressing up against him. Charles curled his fingers with Erik’s, squeezing at them. “Does it hurt?”

“Yes,” came the immediate, forceful response.

Guilt washed over Charles briefly along with the reality of the situation which he was going to have to impart to Erik. There was no chance of him being able to knot him again so quickly. He felt bad but there wasn’t really anything he could do. Erik was going to have to get by with toys for a while until Charles recuperated.

Charles did think it might be best to avoid telling him that right away, for both of their sakes. He did jump to it when Erik made another quiet, pained noise and shifted uncomfortably underneath him. Charles pulled back, kneeling behind him and spreading his cheeks apart so he could get a better look at the plug currently nestled inside of him. He twisted it a couple of times, gave it a tug while he was there, and Erik groaned, his fingers fisting in the sheets.

Not wanting to tease him more than necessary at the moment, Charles went about easing the thing out, careful with the ridges. He only took a quick second to marvel at how stretched Erik really was, his skin pink from continuous friction, and how open he remained even with the toy gone before he replaced it with three of his fingers, pressing in deep, all the way down to the ridge of his knuckles.

He pushed them in and out of Erik, steady, purposeful movements with the whole of his arm. Erik rocked with him, his body moving mindlessly. Charles tried to put some pressure right inside of his entrance where his knot would usually sit, spreading his fingers out to push there. Erik made a low noise when he did and it stretched out long when Charles twisted them.

Charles let his free hand trail up over Erik’s stomach, up to his chest to rub at his nipples. He’d gotten to the point where he wasn’t getting full erections—or any erection—consistently. Every once in a while his cock would fill at least partially, but his body wasn’t focused on that at the moment. He could still orgasm at least, but it’d be completely dry.

“I’m sorry, darling,” Charles admitted when Erik seemed to be getting impatient with his fingers alone. “I can’t knot you again so soon.” Erik huffed at him, squirming, and Charles tried not to feel too inadequate. He also forcibly ignored his unfounded anxiety that always came to the forefront at times like these that Erik would get tired of him one day and go find someone better. He knew it was stupid, but he couldn’t get rid of the thought completely no matter what he did. He tried to block it out by soldiering on. “Do you want my hand or a toy instead?”

He hoped Erik would understand what he was saying. If he didn’t Charles was inclined to just ease the rest of his hand back in. That’d be less work than actually using the vibrator. Silence stretched out for a couple of seconds wherein Charles listened to Erik breathe and kept working his fingers, rubbing at Erik’s rim with his thumb occasionally while he was there.

“The toy,” Erik finally gritted out. “I want the toy.”

Charles nodded to himself and momentarily retrieved his hand to grab it while Erik clenched around nothing, slumping down further into the bed. Charles got the tip up against him quickly, lining up and giving it some pressure. Erik took it the same as he would have taken two fingers, all the way to where Charles was holding on to the base, choking out a broken sound in the meantime.

“Move,” he demanded as soon as it was in. “Move, Charles—” Charles did, pulling the toy out and pressing it back into Erik in strong, harsh thrusts. Erik worked himself back onto it as well, only helping about half the time. Still, it clued Charles in to the pace Erik wanted so he wasn’t too upset over it.

After a few minutes Charles pressed the button that would make the thing start vibrating to gage Erik’s reaction. Sometimes he liked it and other times it seemed to annoy him more than anything else, but he didn’t protest, only said something Charles couldn’t make out because he was pressing his face down into the mattress and tilted his hips up higher. Charles took that as an okay to leave it on.

In spite of everything, Charles couldn’t help the arousal that was stirring in his stomach from watching the purple silicone of the toy being buried again and again in the grip of Erik’s body. Erik was incredible, he thought, bearing this the best he could.

“You’re doing so well,” Charles murmured, pressing his lips up against one of the notches of Erik’s spine. “So well, Erik. I’ll be able to knot you again soon, I promise.”

Erik groaned at him, but didn’t respond otherwise. Charles fucked him with the toy for a good long time, long enough that his arm started to get tired. Erik slumped further and further down onto the bed until just his ass was up in the air. Time didn’t seem very real, Charles thought. It was just the two of them caught up in this haze that was heat, just Erik’s body underneath him and the small noises he kept making filling the air.

Eventually Erik began to shift again, the little thrusts of his hips growing more urgent, so Charles moved to readjust, clicking the toy off and repositioning his other hand so he could press a few fingers in alongside it, keeping them still and letting the toy bump along them as it would. It let him tug on Erik’s rim again, trying his best to put pressure where he wanted it.

Erik all but sobbed, spreading his knees further apart. He started growling Charles’s name into the sheets so Charles picked back up with his words of appraisal which seemed to calm him some. Finally, _finally,_ Erik teetered over the edge into orgasm, shuddering and pressing back desperately onto Charles’s hand.

It wasn’t enough, never could be like this, and Erik let out a little disappointed noise after a few seconds. It made Charles’s chest hurt to hear it, and he felt powerless, as he often did in these later days of heat, powerless and inadequate in the face of Erik’s need. Still, all he could do was try his best to help his mate as much as he was able.

He tried to keep that in mind as he swapped the toy for the hand that didn’t feel about ready to fall off from repetitive movement, nudging back into Erik and rubbing at his walls idly, just to give him something else to focus on.

Charles leaned up again the best he could with his arm at its current odd angle and his hand mostly occupied to kiss a short line up Erik’s back, arched into a lovely curve, reaching up with his recently freed arm—after making sure to wipe his fingers off on his thigh first—to rub carefully at Erik’s bond mark. That did seem to relax Erik somewhat, made some of the tension dissipate from where it was congregating in the broad line of his shoulders.

“I’m sorry,” Charles said, unable to stop himself. The pressure in his chest was a little too much to bear. “I’m sorry, Erik. I know it hurts. I’ll make it better soon.”

Erik let out a long breath, turning to glance back at him again. Surely he was still uncomfortable, dissatisfied, but most of what Charles could see in his eyes was trust, so much trust, surely more than he deserved. Erik nodded at him, replied with a simple, “Okay.” There was no question there that it would happen.

Charles swallowed around the lump in his throat and twisted his fingers again. He shook himself internally, setting his jaw against his own weakness and self-doubt. He didn’t have time to be wallowing at the moment. He had more important things to worry about. Maybe he wasn’t a perfect mate and—even outside of heat—he wouldn’t always be able to make the bad things in Erik’s life go away, but he’d do his best anyway to care for him as well as he could through them nonetheless. Even if he had to remind himself of it every now and again (and if he didn’t, Erik would be sure to when he was cognizant again), that was enough.

xv.

Charles thought it was something of a crime that no one talked about how difficult it really was to get a heating omega to take their damn birth control. Maybe because not many people had that issue since most omegas opted to either just do away with heats and all they came with together or let them be what they were.

Still, he would have liked a little bit of warning. He’d had to do a lot of learning on the job so to speak and it’d been fairly stressful.

It was a lot about being clever. It was also a lot about facial control because if he got nervous about it Erik was sure to pick up on it and wonder what was wrong. The difficulty was that Erik was very smart and had a wickedly good nose, at least for things he already knew the scent of. He also just _did not_ want to take it the last couple days of heat. The instinct to fight it was worse then, beyond the obvious overarching disdain toward it, because his body had a very specific goal and it hadn’t accomplished it yet, so it was time for desperate measures.

How little Charles had known the first couple of times they’d gone through this process when he’d openly offered it to Erik to swallow like he usually would. It hadn’t gone over swimmingly to say the least. Now he’d learned better and had something of a strategy. It didn’t always work, but it was better than nothing.

It mostly consisted of putting the pill in food of some kind, preferably something that had a strong smell of its own. (No matter how hard he tried to not think about it, it always reminded him of how his family had gotten his childhood dog to take its medicine, probably because that was where he’d gotten the idea in the first place if he was being honest. Still, he made sure to keep that fact firmly to himself.) It was best to do it in one go and get it over with so Erik didn’t get suspicious.

This posed an issue if Erik wasn’t eating very well in which case it was usually best to transfer it to him using water or something as a buffer. Charles preferred not to do that since taking someone else’s antibiotics—even by proxy—was not a good idea, but it was the second easiest route.

It was for Erik’s own good, whether he thought so in the moment or not. He wasn’t thinking like himself anyway, so Charles had to be his voice of reason. Charles had a responsibility to do this for him, even if it could be difficult. He would rather lock himself and Erik in separate rooms until the week was out if necessary than so completely violate his wishes if he couldn’t get him to take it.

That morning it went alright, thankfully. It was more coaxing Erik to eat at all than anything else.

“Come on,” Charles encouraged. “Eat a little bit at least.”

Erik scowled at him, shifting where he sat, probably to move the plug inside him around some. “I’m not hungry.”

Charles couldn’t believe that since he hadn’t eaten since the night before and they’d mated more than once between now and then. “Just a little. Please, Erik.”

Erik eyed the bagel concoction Charles had made warily. Charles forced himself not to react quite yet, to make sure that Erik wasn’t just annoyed at it in general first.

That turned out to be the case because all he did was flop back down on the mattress and spread his thighs. “Charles,” he moaned, pushing his hips up. “Please.”

Charles eyed where he could see the black material of the toy pressed tight against his body and bit back a sigh. No point in getting frustrated. “If you eat half I’ll knot you again.”

Erik made a small noise that sounded pained, though Charles couldn’t tell how manufactured it was. It was probably somewhat authentic, so he rubbed at Erik’s thigh where his other hand was resting comfortingly. Erik turned toward the contact instinctively and his eyes trained on the food again. He looked conflicted. There was a long pause in which Charles held his breath and waited in anticipation.

Finally, Erik put a shaking hand out for it. Charles handed it off quickly before he could change his mind, hovering nearby in case he couldn’t keep his grip. Erik still looked put-off over it, but he managed to take a bite of the bagel and swallow it down. Per usual, once he actually started eating, he ended up finishing whatever it was that was in front of him. His brain was simply hardwired to ignore any feelings of hunger at the moment so he couldn’t tell when he needed to eat.

“There you are,” Charles praised him, patting at his flank again.

Erik didn’t notice the pill at all, seemingly. Relief flooded through Charles and he leaned up to lick the cream cheese off Erik’s lips, kissing him generously once he was finished. Erik reached up to cling to him, digging his fingers in hard and moving to get up on his knees again after a few seconds. Charles didn’t try to stop him when he presented expectantly.

A promise was a promise. There was no point in denying him any longer and positive reinforcement had been proven to work quite well. Charles’s own knees complained a little as he got into position but he tried to overlook the pain.

The remainder of the third day had gone as well as one could expect and had also morphed into something of a blur in Charles’s mind. Erik came to a couple more times before he was out for good around nine that night. He could still understand Charles, obviously, and would respond but he wasn’t much for extended conversations. The frequency of their coupling had increased to the point where Charles was no longer bothering to count or distinguish one from the other. It was more of a continuous cycle. He would knot Erik, they’d have some indeterminate period where everything would go calm—and more often than not both of them would actually doze off as a result of the week beginning to take its toll—then Erik would wake back up and rouse Charles while he was at it. If he could, he’d do it again, but usually he needed more time to rest and would have to substitute in toys or fingers for a while until he could manage to get it up again.

Occasionally he’d persuade Erik into eating something or drinking some water, although that could be a trial in and of itself as Erik had demonstrated clearly that morning. It would go like that until Erik’s heat finally came to an end at some point near the end of the fifth day, or at least it usually did. They’d had some six day ones before, but fortunately they were rare.

Charles was getting tired and his stamina was pretty pathetic to behold if he did say so himself. Luckily Erik didn’t care as long as the end goal was reached. His hips and knees ached from repetitive movement and being in the same position over and over again. He could try if he wanted to get Erik to lay on his back or side but he usually wouldn’t hear of it. The stereotypical mating position was too deeply ingrained and his need to get back into it outweighed the fact that he was surely getting sore too.

That didn’t matter to him at the moment. Nothing did beyond getting Charles to mount him over and over again. What Charles assumed was his body’s frustration at none of this working out the way it wanted manifested in Erik’s own impatience. He tended less toward desperation or outright begging these remaining couple of days and more toward demanding that Charles do what he wanted as quickly as possible. If he wasn’t so exhausted Charles thought it might be more amusing.

So it went for the last third of these weeks. Time stopped meaning much even if Charles tried to at least keep track of whole days. It was difficult for him to focus on anything other than taking care of Erik or resting his own body. The world outside their room slipped away for good and it was just the two of them alone, getting through this.

Charles found that it was usually better to give over to his own instincts for the time being, let his hindbrain take over for a while if he could. It made it so he moved almost automatically when Erik did, so he could better scent him to make sure he was holding up alright, so all of this felt like more of a necessity than it would have otherwise.

If he let himself go that way, common sense could be left by the wayside and some pleasure could still be gleaned from the mild insanity of it all. It didn’t matter that he’d made sure Erik took his pills or that they’d done this a hundred times before or that no matter how many times they tried no pregnancy would result from this heat. None of that mattered because at that exact moment Erik was back up on hands and knees, leaking down his thighs and needing Charles’s cock in him, filling him back up, tying him to make sure his seed took, smelling so unbelievably fertile and willing. If Erik offered, he would take. That was the way it was, always had been and always would be.

And that was base and oversimplified, but framing it that way helped him to forget the downsides of this process and made it easier for Erik in the interim. It certainly wasn’t all there was, but, Charles thought, in the heat of the moment, a little bit of help from biology wasn’t too much to ask.

Erik got back into position, so Charles did too. Erik asked, so Charles gave. The process repeated, so, surely as ever, time passed. Even these endless weeks had to come to an end. Maybe not for another while or so, but eventually even this madness would pass. Until then they would get by on sweat and the meshing of their bodies and blueprints in their bones and the wild, desperate, biologically-driven need to create something new together.

xvi. (an erik interlude, pt. 2)

Everything had gone blurry in his mind aside from a few very distinct points, standing out stark like slits in a dark sheet. One of those points was his awareness of Charles, where he was, what he was doing, if he was touching him or not. The others were the sudden, piercing awareness of how empty he felt and the consequential need to get Charles to do something about it, or the relief at the feeling of Charles pressed up against him, the two of them slotted together.

He was either cognizant of almost nothing, drifting off into unconsciousness, or feeling everything at a much higher intensity than could possibly be tolerated, his mind stretched thin across the binary. Everything else, no matter how pertinent it would normally be—hunger, awareness of the fact that all of his joints and his back hurt like hell from kneeling and arching so much and having Charles’s weight on top of him constantly, pressing him down, even the need to relieve himself—was shoved into the back of his mind. If he strained he’d notice it, but most of the time it was like it wasn’t even there.

Deep heat was always like that, illogical like nothing else. It was useless to struggle with it, to try and fight it any longer. He ached down to his bones for something that he didn’t have and wasn’t going to get, but would struggle endlessly toward anyway. His body felt open all the time, fixed in that vulnerable state, to speed up the process. It was an uncomfortable feeling and it could become painful if something wasn’t done about it. The emptiness cramped in his abdomen and spread up to his chest until it became suffocating and unbearable.

Reprieve was possible, but only for a short period of time: however long the knot lasted. Even Charles fucking him to do it in the first place had lost most of its charm. It was better than the toys which were better than only fingers but it wasn’t really what he cared about.

His body had staged a coup d’état on his mind and his common sense and had successfully transformed him into a receptacle that was only there to be filled. If he wasn’t carrying out that one task, he felt feverish and unsatisfied and irritable. Well, maybe the irritability was more him than it was the heat.

In any case, that sort of critical thought and reflection on the experience did not occur in the midst of it. He couldn’t focus if he tried at the moment. That would come later, after this was over. He really had no idea what time it was, how long it had been, how long was left. Time stretched out long and shapeless, holding no more meaning than any other ordinarily concrete concept to him. Every heat lasted a small eternity because of it.

At the moment he’d just woken up. He didn’t know how long he’d been asleep, but he felt like he was burning up again. The ache was back, pushing at his insides, causing him to shift on the bed. There was a plug in him that he didn’t remember having there before and, frankly, could barely even feel unless he was sitting directly on it. It wasn’t enough and it being there was more annoying than anything else.

He needed Charles back in him and he needed it _now_.

Erik sought out his mate, trying focus his eyes and finding him sleeping next to him, his body limp. Erik frowned, but was relieved he was at least close. He struggled closer to him so he could press his nose back under his jaw and scent. The proximity would probably get him to wake up and it helped calm Erik some as well. He reached a hand down meanwhile to wrap it around Charles’s cock, stroking it experimentally.

He was painfully aware of the fact that Charles wasn’t always helpful in his plight. Sometimes when he roused him again all he’d get for his trouble was the cold plastic of one of the toys or the mildly infuriating curl of Charles’s fingers. Sometimes he’d fit his whole hand in and that was okay. If his hand’s current task didn’t turn out to be successful, he thought he’d make Charles do that instead. The stretch of it offered a synthetic sort of relief, at least for a while.

Fortunately, however, it looked like he wouldn’t have to make do with something else. Charles’s cock stirred under his attention, filling the circle of his fingers. He pulled back, pumping at it intently and watching it harden, swelling red as it did. He clenched instinctively around the plug and scooted down further to suck on the head of it, unable to help himself.

Charles shifted underneath him finally, rolling out flat onto his back. Erik followed after him, not paying him much mind, too busy tonguing at the slit, lapping up the salty bitterness of the precum already beginning to bead there. There was a low moan as Charles stuttered awake and a hand in his hair, not pushing or pulling him anywhere, although Erik sort of wished Charles would tug a little, just putting pressure on his scalp, letting him know he was there. Erik supposed he did appreciate the contact.

He glanced up at Charles from where he was sprawled across his lap, giving him a look he hoped he would understand, using the hand he’d had wrapped around the base of his cock to give it a couple more slower strokes. Charles hissed, but his expression soon melted back into a familiar smile which Erik only really cared meant that he must have understood.

Charles started to sit up. “Okay. Come on, let’s see you.”

Anticipation flooded through Erik’s veins, dousing the burn there slightly, and he released Charles’s cock, letting it fall back down where it would, so he could scramble back onto his knees. It was almost completely unconscious. There was no need to think about how to arrange himself, he’d done it so many times. He did slump further onto the mattress, raising his hips up, hoping that might get Charles to move a little faster. He always seemed to take forever to get moving and Erik was already sick of waiting.

“Come on,” he grumbled, shifting from one knee to the other. He reached back to get plug out already, but regretted it almost immediately afterward. The open air was too much for him and he bit his way through a groan from the pain of it, shoving three of his own fingers in to try and ease it, even a little.

“Erik,” Charles admonished. There was an edge of worry to it and Erik could feel him behind him finally, brushing up against the backs of his thighs. Suddenly there were a few more fingers joining his own, pushing inside. He groaned, and Erik felt a little bit of pride at having earned the noise. “God, you’re always so slick for me.” Erik preened at the praise, arching his back further.

Still, Charles could talk and fuck him at the same time. “Charles,” he complained. “Need you in me, now.” He even tacked on a quick “please” for good measure, pulling out his fingers and hooking his thumb in instead, pulling himself open further to show off. That got another choked off groan from Charles who eased his own fingers out and moved so he was leaning up over him.

Erik felt himself shaking, knowing that he was close to getting what he wanted and that much more desperate for it because of that. Finally he felt that familiar pressure up against his hole and took Charles back inside. His body locked around him within seconds and the relief was immense. He let out a quiet sob from the feeling, and Charles, acting with some semblance of efficiency for once, started moving immediately.

The friction was nice, a sort of balm, but it was the build-up more than anything else. He rocked back against Charles in an attempt to speed things up and Charles leaned up over him further, pinning his hands down. Erik liked that, liked feeling Charles’s weight and heat on him, pushing him down, holding him steady. He tilted his head to the side in an invitation which Charles took, bending to fit his teeth against the proffered skin. That was a relief as well, calming in a way Erik couldn’t really understand, but Charles seemed to know it, biting and holding on, still working his hips.

When he pulled back it was only to move to Erik’s bond mark instead, pushing his teeth into the matching divots there. It was like an electric shock through Erik’s body and he whined helplessly, going slack under Charles who moved an arm to help hold him up, growling and picking up the pace of his thrusts. Heat furled in Erik’s abdomen and he dug his fingers into the sheets to have something to hold onto as his mind fractured apart, falling away until there was only a persistent throb, that endless desire for Charles to fill him, knot him, breed him.

Even when he wasn’t mated he’d felt that need, although he’d never been able to quite pin it down until he and Charles had bonded. It took shape then, materializing abruptly in his mind, showing itself for what it was now that Charles was there to bring it into fruition, to make it possible. It was disturbing to him at the time, still sort of was, but he supposed he’d gotten used to it. Sometimes there was a serious disconnect between his cock and his brain, like when it was early on a weekday morning and he’d see Charles still half-asleep, unshaven, and trying to figure out why the coffee machine wasn’t working when it was clearly unplugged and for some ungodly reason feel like bending him over the counter right then and there. It wasn’t unheard of.

Still, this was different. He thought it was getting worse as he got older too which was a pain. There was nothing to be done but sit back and bear it, unless he wanted to seriously reconsider the way he’d planned for his life to go, which, well, maybe he did. It wouldn’t hurt to do something other than vehemently ignore the topic at the very least. His pride was leading him down the path of most resistance by taking birth control but not heat suppressants and he thought maybe he was getting tired of it.

But that was a train of thought for another, more coherent time. For now, Erik indulged in the forbidden pleasure of it because he couldn’t help himself from doing so. Charles was speaking to him again, nothing important, just talking, but he liked hearing his voice so close, deep and rough where sometimes he could be so posh and proper. He was moving with more urgency and Erik could almost sense him reaching his climax. He squeezed around him spasmodically, unable to help himself, and that seemed to do it.

Charles came in long pulses, hot and wet and deep inside of him and Erik groaned, feeling Charles’s knot swell again, fitting right inside his entrance, easy as anything, stretching his rim just so and calming the storm inside of him momentarily. A haze of contentment washed over Erik like he’d stepped into a rare patch of sunlight on an overcast day and he exhaled heavily, feeling the tension in his body leave all at once. Charles froze where he was for a stretch of time before he tugged slightly, checking the tie.

Apparently satisfied, he guided them both back down onto the mattress, the rise and fall of their bodies as cyclical as the swell of the tide, and Erik let himself be eased down. Charles nosed underneath his ear, rubbing there in a way that was a little ticklish and Erik let out a breathless laugh at the novel sensation. He could feel Charles smile up against his neck. “Is that better?” he asked. “Feel good?”

“Yes,” he replied, unable to help himself. Charles’s arm curled around him and Erik liked the tightness with which he held him. It felt safe and unlikely to end any time soon. These were the best moments of a heat, he thought, when they were pressed together like this and Charles was holding onto him anyway like he couldn’t get close enough.

Charles licked at his bond mark again, over where he’d reset it earlier and Erik leaned into the sensation, sighing shakily. Other than his hole that was his favorite place for Charles to be touching him when he felt like this. It made him feel owned, and by extension protected, which was nice at the moment.

He remembered when Charles had first made that mark during their first heat together when they had bonded. It was one tradition they couldn’t buck. It had bothered Erik at the time, even if it felt like nothing he’d ever experienced before in the midst of everything, Charles sinking his teeth into the back of his neck hard enough to draw blood. He didn’t mind it so much anymore. The mark had faded some with time and Charles was usually the only one who saw it in the first place.

It was a reminder of that first time they’d gone through this together if nothing else. It had still been a heat like any other, but difference between going through it alone versus going through it with a partner was astronomical, particularly because he’d been on the brink of begging Charles to spend a heat with him for over a year by that time.

Part of him wished—nonsensically, but his brain was currently out of commission so that was par for the course—that this would be it. That the seed would take and this could be over. It was the heat talking, but it made him feel restless and unsure in a way that he wasn’t used to. It was something he couldn’t shake for days sometimes even after it ended, that feeling of discontent. It would go away, eventually, but it clung like oil to his skin and he resented it.

For the time being however the thought drifted away as soon as it came and he simply enjoyed the reprieve from that consuming emptiness. He let Charles hold him and scent him and kiss at his neck and shoulders and rub his stomach. Charles who hadn’t even flinched when he’d told him about a year in that he had no intention of ever getting pregnant, Charles who he knew went out of his way to make sure he was always taking his pills even if he didn’t want to, Charles who he knew wanted kids but wanted to do so in a way that Erik was comfortable with even more, who went through this maddening, pointless process with him every four months or so and hardly ever complained about it, who’d be back up on his knees in another hour or less if Erik needed him to be, tirelessly attentive.

It wasn’t for those exact reasons that affection swelled in his chest currently for the other man, but it didn’t really matter. They were all there, inside of Erik, even if he kept them stored usually because they could get a little overwhelming if he didn’t, and really, if this helped to ease that godforsaken emptiness right now, those reasons were what made sure it didn’t linger beyond this week into the coming months.

In the present, Charles replaced his mouth with the fingers of his free hand, still rubbing at the nape of his neck, and Erik moved to curl their fingers together, needing to hold onto him somehow. And that was vulnerable too, he thought, but he didn’t mind it as much, especially not when Charles just squeezed back and nuzzled up against him, throwing a leg over his hip, easy as anything.


	5. day five/epilogue

xvii.

It was sometime in the morning Charles thought, judging by the dull light filtering in through the blinds in their bedroom, making it glow. Erik was a warm, constant weight in his lap. He’d wrapped his legs fully around Charles’s waist and was squeezing at him off and on. They were tied currently which accounted for Erik’s more affectionate state.

Somehow or another Charles had managed to get him to lie on his back for the first time in almost two days. Charles thought that maybe he was tired enough that he didn’t care. It could also be that his heat was dying down a little early, although he didn’t want to think about that too much in case it flared back up again. Instead, he was simply enjoying what he had while he had it. It was nice to be able to actually face Erik for once, see him fully. It meant they could sit like this too, which Charles liked.

Plus, Charles could kiss him whenever he wanted. That was probably the best part. He was kissing him often, over and over again, because Erik was tolerating it and even seemed to like it. (Usually he didn’t have much patience for it when he was like this and Charles didn’t get many good opportunities for it anyway.) Really he had an ulterior motive which was to get Erik to drink some water. Once he’d knotted him and pulled him up to settle fully into his lap, Charles had offered it to him and he’d refused it.

Charles had felt a little frustrated since Erik had been so agreeable a few moments before, but the feeling soon dissipated when he realized there was a playful kind of gleam in Erik’s eyes that spoke to the refusal being purposeful. It’d quickly turned into a game where Charles tried to catch Erik’s mouth from where he was trying to keep it away, tilting his chin up, so he could transfer some of the water to him.

It was a rare pleasure to see Erik smiling and enjoying himself so late in heat. Charles couldn’t keep his eyes off him. There was no telling how long this would last, but he seemed comfortable and sated for the first time in so many hours. When Charles did succeed at capturing his lips he’d kiss back eagerly enough, swallow the water he was given, before ultimately pulling back and flitting away again, smirking when Charles tried to chase after him.

That to Charles was a second sign that maybe the worst was past them. It would be a little earlier than expected, but if there were long heats there was no reason why there couldn’t be short ones too. The end was always a little more variable than the beginning. Sometimes Erik was growling and fighting him until the last possible second, and sometimes it faded out easily like this and he’d settle early. Charles sort of hoped that that was what this was.

Only time would tell.

For now, he lunged for Erik and narrowly missed him, drawing a chuckle out of the other man who squeezed around his waist with his thighs again. Charles tried to frown at him in a disapproving way although he doubted he looked very intimidating since he had a mouthful of water. Without warning, Erik dipped down of his own volition and slotted their mouths back together, taking the water from him again.

Charles was surprised but let Erik kiss him as he would, running his hands up Erik’s back so he could rub at the muscles there. When Erik did pull back, he kept their foreheads pressed together and Charles caught sight of his eyes. He couldn’t bite back his smile then because they were clear, focused, a lovely, pale blue in the watery morning light.

“Hi,” Erik murmured, shifting a little in his lap, letting his legs relax around Charles’s waist.

“Hello,” Charles replied, his grin spreading. Joy coalesced, an expansive, fluttering thing in his chest. It was less because the heat was coming to its end and more that Erik was coming back to himself and it was a wonderful thing to witness. He couldn’t help but lean up to kiss him again, sweet and deep, maybe a bit more desperately than he’d meant to. Erik reciprocated, drinking him up, twisting his fingers into Charles’s hair and pulling lightly.

Charles pressed his face into the hollow of Erik’s neck when they broke off, breathing him in, noting the way that yes, his pheromones were not hardly as strong as they had been before. “How do you feel?” he asked.

Erik arched up against him, sighing. “Sore,” he grumbled, setting his chin on top of Charles’s head. “Sticky. A little as though I might be hungry enough to eat my pillow. And kind of like someone might have been fucking me for two days straight.”

Charles laughed at the deadpan way he listed his ailments. “I can’t imagine why.”

Erik shifted noticeably again, squeezing at where Charles’s knot was only beginning to go down pointedly, but didn’t accuse him further. He slumped a little further against Charles who took more of his weight easily enough. “What day is it? And time, for that matter.”

“Tuesday morning,” Charles replied. “I don’t know what time it is otherwise. You can see the clock from where you are better than I can.”

There was a pause as Erik looked. “11:24,” he eventually announced. “That’s pretty early.”

“Do you think it’ll last much longer?” Charles asked warily. He was really asking if Erik thought he’d stay lucid like this from now on or if he’d lapse again. He figured Erik would take his meaning without him having to announce it so directly.

Erik rubbed his cheek against the top of his head, mussing up his hair. “I don’t know. I don’t think so, but I probably won’t know for sure until I can get up and see if I can go for more than five minutes without something up my ass.”

Charles nipped at his neck for being so crass about it, then pulled back so he could look at him again. His gaze was steady and familiar and it was an enormous comfort to have him back again as he normally was. “Anything you want right now?”

“That you can actually get me?” Erik added wryly. “The rest of the water if you don’t want it. And whatever’s in reach and edible.”

Charles surrendered the water bottle which Erik took and downed in long, quick swallows. The only thing close in terms of food was a box of crackers which Erik had been tolerating consistently so Charles had kept around. He grabbed it and offered them to Erik who eyed the label with a bit of disdain. Still, he took them and went at them with almost amusing fervor once he was done with the water.

Charles was glad to see him eating so well and drinking too. Even if this period of respite didn’t last, the energy he got now would help them get through the rest of it with greater ease. Soon enough Erik was tossing the box aside and tugging at Charles so he could lay back. Charles followed after him carefully, sprawling out on top of him on his stomach. He was a little nervous to let Erik take his weight but Erik didn’t seem to care. The other man stretched out long underneath him and wrapped his arms around Charles’s back, settling heavily onto the mattress and letting his eyes slip closed to wait out the knot.

Charles clung to him, curling up on his chest, listening to his heart beat steadily underneath him. He considered dozing off for a few seconds before vetoing the idea. If things really were slowing down for good he’d have time to rest throughout the remainder of the day. For now, he had more pertinent tasks to attend to.

Those tasks mostly involved turning so he could look at Erik and reach up to cup at his jaw, running his thumbs over the arches of his cheekbones. His eyes opened again slowly and he stared right back. Charles tried to decipher what he was thinking, but he always had trouble when Erik looked at him steadily. It was a calculating look, but Charles couldn’t tell to what end.

Then Erik’s hands came up to mirror Charles’s. Charles smiled and leaned into the touch until Erik took it upon himself to gather some of the skin of his cheeks in between two fingers on either hand and pinch. He jerked back, out of his grasp. “Hey!” he complained, rubbing at his cheek with a retracted hand. “What was that for?”

Erik shrugged, infuriatingly apathetic about the exchange, folding his arms behind his head and looking far too pleased with himself. “I have to get back at you for this somehow.”

Charles felt a pang of irritation since this was not his fault, although he couldn’t be too mad at Erik. There _was_ his dignity to uphold, but that could be done without getting too upset. So, he pouted at Erik instead. He couldn’t physically get away from him at the moment, so that would have to do. “You don’t have to. You also don’t need to pinch me.”

Charles snapped a hand up to catch at Erik’s wrist before he could move to pinch anywhere else in response to the comment, regretting his phrasing a little.

“But I like your cheeks,” Erik said, undeterred by his new shackles. He grinned, all teeth, and Charles marveled at his ability to look dangerous while completely pinned down. “They’re soft and good to squeeze.”

Charles fought to keep his expression stern, determined not to break so easily, done in by a silly double entendre. Instead he pushed in some, up against Erik. “Are you trying to make this last longer?”

Erik’s smile turned crooked. “Maybe.”

Charles lunged up to pinch at his cheeks in return and Erik just laughed at him.

All their horsing around had the opposite effect in actuality which was fine with Charles. Less than ten minutes later they were detached and had both obtained significantly redder cheeks in the meantime. Charles rubbed at his face ruefully, flopping off of Erik, over onto his back. After a few seconds he glanced back over at the other man who seemed to be checking himself for signs of discomfort or the like.

“What’s the verdict?” Charles asked, not bothering to be subtle about it. He thought Erik would prefer that.

Erik rolled onto his side to face him. “I don’t know. We should give it half an hour or so before we go making any assumptions. Right now I’m fine.” He sighed and let his weight settle down further onto the mattress. Exhaustion drew stark lines on his face, noticeable now outside the haze of heat.

Charles slid back closer to him, unable to help himself, wrapping an arm around his side for the sake of maintaining contact. “Well, rest a while and we’ll see how you feel when you wake up.”

“That’s what I was trying to do earlier,” Erik claimed as if he wasn’t the one who’d started the whole pinching thing.

Charles brought his hand back up anyway, running the tips of his fingers down over Erik’s cheek, rubbing at the stubble there. Maybe he could get the two of them into the shower again later he thought, if all went well. “Go to sleep then. Get some rest.”

For once, Erik listened to him. His eyes slipped closed and he was dozing within a few short minutes. That alone spoke to his being incredibly tired. Erik had never been one to fall asleep very easily. Charles traced the light purple circles underneath his eyes lightly, before he leaned in to tuck his chin on top of Erik’s head, still clutching close to him.

Charles was not remotely religious, but he didn’t think sending up a little prayer that this would be the end of it, for Erik’s sake, would hurt. It’d been a fun go, but he suspected both of them would be happier if the worst of it was past.

He must have fallen asleep as well because the next thing he knew he was blinking his eyes open and the light had shifted in the room. Erik was shifting too, curling up against him in a way that made Charles think he must actually be awake as well. He leaned down to press his nose into Erik’s hair. It didn’t seem like his heat had swelled, or at least it was nothing compared to what it had been, although he didn’t seem completely comfortable either.

“Erik?” Charles asked, but Erik remained with his face tucked firmly against his chest. Anxiety made itself known, a little frantic. He moved an arm to try and nudge him back. “Are you alright?”

“Fine,” he muttered, his voice muffled. There was a bit more shuffling and then, “I’m just cold.”

Charles frowned, but didn’t respond. That seemed unlikely. Out of the two of them, he was the more likely one to point out something like that and it seemed fine in the room to him. Still, he played along, shifting to try and sit up. “Okay. Come on, let’s get under the blankets if that’s the case.”

Erik went, but he was remaining steadfastly turned away from Charles. Charles’s eyebrows pulled together, wondering if he was in pain and not wanting to confess it, or if it was something else. He waited until both of them were situated in the bed and he’d yanked the comforter up over them to say anything. He thought the artificial darkness might make Erik feel comfortable enough to talk. Some of the light still seeped through the stitches, but only enough so Charles could make out Erik’s general outline.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Charles asked, unsure what to do other than be direct. “You’re not in pain?”

“No.”

“Do you feel sick?” Sometimes heats could cause a body to lower its immune defenses and that could lead to susceptibility to illness. Erik had caught a cold right afterward more than once before.

“No, Charles,” Erik snapped, irritation seeping into his voice where it hadn’t been there before.

 _Well,_ something’s _wrong so you should just tell me already and get it over with_ , Charles thought, mildly frustrated. He tried to keep in mind that Erik was exhausted and neither of their hormone levels were quite back to normal yet, however, and kept it to himself. Clearly something was bothering Erik, but there was probably no use in bugging him about it. If he wanted to talk, he’d open up in time. Charles had learned early on that pestering Erik into talking about something usually did more harm than good.

Charles sighed and reached out blindly, finding and capturing one of Erik’s hands, lacing their fingers together. They didn’t seem cold, but maybe the blanket had been enough. “Alright.” He thought about tacking on a good old “you can tell me anything,” but he thought it’d be better for it to go unspoken.

Apparently that was the right choice because Erik mirrored his sigh and squeezed back at his hand after a few moments. “My body hates me.”

Charles was so taken aback by the strange statement that he didn’t respond immediately, or even after a few seconds. It was so far beyond anything he would have expected to hear from Erik that he was struggling to think up any intelligent response, let alone the right one.

He turned the words over in his head, trying to riddle out the meaning behind them. It was different than “I hate my body” which would have been stranger yet to hear. Erik had qualms about some of his scars, but that area of insecurity tended to belong solely to Charles with Erik remaining steadfastly apathetic about his own body throughout the years. Maybe he was sick after all?

Eventually Charles settled on a simple, “Why do you think that?” Better to figure out the issue first before he started making grand statements. Having been a professor for a few years and, by extension, an amateur therapist for more than one student, he’d found that was the best way to go about it.

Erik huffed at him. Charles thought he seemed uncomfortable, maybe with the notion of self-deprecation. It wasn’t exactly common for him. “Why wouldn’t it?”

Charles bit his lips and squeezed at Erik’s hand again. That wasn’t an incredibly helpful answer. Maybe it would be up to Charles to fill in the blanks. He strained his tired brain for a few moments before it suddenly hit him what Erik might be talking about. “Is this about the heat?”

Charles could almost feel Erik’s glare through the darkness around them and did his best not to flinch back. Guilt coalesced alongside the nerves, cold and clammy as ever. He had a feeling that this was probably partially his fault. This was exactly what he’d been afraid of when Erik had caught him daydreaming earlier that week.

“Everything’s about heat, Charles,” Erik replied coolly, retrieving his hand. Charles had to fight not to reach out to try and grab it back.

He was definitely still in it if he was being this open. This had happened a couple of times before, not at any particular time, but sometimes Erik’s guard would fall down a little lower than usual and something like this would come out. It’d just been so abrupt this time that it’d caught Charles off-guard, but he supposed he shouldn’t have been surprised. This heat had felt…different somehow, maybe because they had been looking some of the topics they’d been purposefully avoiding head-on for the first time in a while.

“No it’s not,” Charles argued, keeping his voice steady. Everything in him was straining to get Erik back in his arms, embrace him, comfort him, but he thought he’d more than likely be shoved away if he tried, so he kept to himself. “It might seem like that now, but it’s not. And your body doesn’t hate you. It’s yours. You get to choose what to do with it.”

Erik was quiet for a few moments. Charles braced himself. Pauses were not good signs when he was trying to argue with Erik. It meant he was gathering his thoughts and making whatever point he was planning on using next that much sharper and direct. “Only to a point. There must be some reason we haven’t evolved beyond all this. It’s still around for a reason and I’m fucking it up.”

“Lots of people fuck it up,” Charles replied before he could stop himself, too desperate to reply to think straight. It at least got a cough of a laugh from Erik who appeared to have curled in tighter upon himself. “What I mean is lots of people alter their biology to be able to live the way they want to. I wish I could tell you the exact scientific explanation for why we haven’t stopped all this nonsense yet, but you know I can’t.” And it drove him crazy, but now wasn’t probably the time for that particular tangent. “More than likely it’s just a matter of time. It keeps the species going, so we haven’t tossed it quite yet, but as it becomes…less desirable to more people, it will phase out.”

Erik didn’t reply, but he also didn’t seem to be budging from his guarded position. Charles thought he was probably getting too esoteric again and tried to reign it back in, to focus on the particulars instead. “You don’t owe anyone anything, Erik. It’s your life to live and you shouldn’t do it by trying to adhere to archaic social expectations. The world’s not lacking for inhabitants.”

“Not even you?” Erik demanded suddenly and Charles desperately wished he could see him, that they weren’t doing this in such an awkward place. The dark made it all the more disorienting. “I don’t owe you anything? I know you want kids. Doesn’t it bother you, going through this again and again pointlessly?”

There was something to Erik’s questions. Charles could tell that was at least part of the root of this and his heart sank a little knowing it was his fault. His mind offered up the memory of the dismissive attitudes of the people he’d spoken to at the beginning of all this, how they’d casually disapproved of Erik’s choices and how he’d been a bystander to it, even joined in to a point. It wasn’t purposeful, just the expression of a deep-set schema, but that didn’t make it any less insidious to the one on the other end of it. Suddenly guilt was a heavier weight in his stomach than ever.

“Of course not!” Charles did reach for Erik’s hand again, but failed to find it. “Maybe I do, but that doesn’t mean anything—”

“You never hope that maybe this time something will fuck up and it’ll work for once?” Erik continued, bowling him over easily. “Not even once?”

Charles pressed his teeth together, biting back a pulse of his own anger, mostly because of course he had. He felt awful about it, would never in his right mind wish something like that on Erik, but he wasn’t always in his right mind. He wasn’t always perfect. But maybe that went beyond this. Shame heated his cheeks and part of him was still focused on how ludicrous it was to be having this argument lying next to each other under a pile of blankets.

The pause said enough he was sure, but he thought it would be best to own up to his own indiscretions. Better that than try to hide them. “Yes,” he hissed, ducking his head down even in spite of the darkness, thoroughly ashamed of himself. “I have. And I’m sorry. That’s beyond inexcusable.” Erik was quiet, and Charles thought maybe he hadn’t expected him to admit it.

Maybe it was a worse time than ever, but he couldn’t help but scoot a little closer to Erik, set a hand on his side. The other man didn’t move away, but he went rigid under Charles’s touch. Something in his chest ached, and he found it was hard to talk around it. It didn’t help that he didn’t really know what to say to make it better.

 _So much for waiting to talk about this_ , he thought somewhat wryly.

“It’s wrong of me to think like that,” Charles continued, wondering what the hell kind of person he was that this even had to be a conversation. “It’s not my choice to make. Ultimately, nothing matters but what you think, not even what sort of foolish, awful things run through my brain in the midst of rut or any other time.” Charles ran a careful hand down Erik’s side, meaning it to be comforting, unsure if he was succeeding.

“But it’s not wrong,” Erik insisted suddenly, vehement again. He stopped Charles’s hand from moving, keeping it pressed up against his side. “You can’t help thinking those things any more than I can help going into heat. It’s the way things are meant to be.”

Charles thought abruptly that he must be out of it again because that didn’t sound at all like something Erik would say if he was completely lucid. More than likely this was the last remaining bits of heat uncovering some very deep, innate anxieties. Still, it wasn’t like they were unfounded. Charles tried to shove his own feelings away for the time being in order to try to sort this out properly, but it was difficult.

“It’s the way things have been, sometimes, in the past. That doesn’t mean anything,” Charles insisted. “Your worth is not dependent on how many babies you make, Erik. I didn’t bond with you because I’d strategically calculated the fact that our immune systems would be compatible and would produce healthier young as a result.” (They were, but that was beside the point.) “I did it because I love you for who you are. That’s more than enough.” The words were tumbling out now, but he was determined to overwrite any previous, potentially harmful thoughts he’d been having, to re-insist this as the truth to the both of them.

“You’re so much more than what your body can do. You’re a leader at your company. You’re a friend and support for Raven. You constantly picking _me_ up and dusting me off, proofreading my papers, helping me grade even. You do so much for me and for anyone who needs your help. Your value is in who you are and what you do every day, not in the nature that was arbitrarily assigned to you,” Charles continued, moving his hand to cup at Erik’s cheek again, desperate for him to know and understand. There would be no more misunderstandings about this. Charles refused to let there be.

There was a wet warmth dripping down Charles’s fingers and the ache in his chest got worse somehow, expanding, trying to subsume him. “Oh, Erik,” he muttered, pulling the other man back up against him, clutching close to him. He kissed blindly at where the tears were coming from and got at the corner of his eye. “I’m so sorry, love. I didn’t ever mean to make you feel this way. You’re so much more than enough, more than I ever thought I’d have. Never feel like you need to do something more than what you’re already doing.” He gave up fighting back his own tears, too tired for it, and began rubbing at Erik’s back, up and down in steady strokes.

Erik was truly crying like Charles had rarely seen. It came out sometimes like this, all at once, because he kept his emotions to himself more often than not. There was a great force to it, a frustration there, and Charles felt it too, frustration at himself and at the world at large for setting such a stupid set of expectations based on nature. He never knew if he was doing this right, thought that he probably wasn’t more often than not, so maybe moments like this were to be expected. In the end, it would probably be better, but that didn’t make it any easier for the time being.

Erik was muttering something and for a few seconds Charles thought it was gibberish. He was too busy snotting all over Erik’s hair to pay much attention anyway, but eventually he caught on. Erik’s voice was thick, a bit difficult to decipher, but he got the gist. “Thank you,” he was muttering. “Thank you.”

Charles clung to him tighter, digging his fingers into his skin, absolutely refusing to let go. That lasted all of five seconds because he decided immediately afterward that he needed to kiss Erik right then and bent down to do that. It was a very messy kiss, and not in a good way, but Charles didn’t really care. When they pulled apart, he went about kissing at Erik’s face, murmuring apologies in response.

After a few long minutes Erik seemed to calm down and he brought a hand up to catch in Charles’s hair, pulling him back. “Stop,” he demanded, his voice far steadier than before, if still a little rough. “Stop apologizing. This isn’t your fault. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Neither did you,” Charles was quick to point out, not completely believing Erik, but knowing better than to point that out.

“That’s the point,” Erik said dryly. “It’s okay.” He sighed heavily and there were suddenly fingers wiping at Charles’s eyes. That motion was a little more practiced than maybe he would have liked to admit. The silence stretched again and Charles let himself be tended to, working on choking back the ache in his throat a little more, trying to reshuffle his thoughts into something organized. He was glad for the dark warmth of the blankets after all he decided.

“You’re really okay with it?” Erik asked eventually, quiet, almost nervous even if he was hiding it well. “Okay with this?”

“Of course,” Charles said, meaning it completely. “I wasn’t lying to make you feel better. This is everything I could want.” A quick pause, wherein Charles decided it would be better to be a little more honest. “You know I’d like our family to grow somewhere down the line, but never at your expense. There are so many little ones out there who need a good home. Family is hardly dependent on blood. I want you to do what you want, what you feel comfortable with. If that’s staying on birth control, or trying heat suppressants, or whatever else, that’s up to you. I meant it the first time I told you and I mean it just as much now. Okay?”

“Okay,” Erik echoed, the tension leaving his body some. The pause felt, for lack of a better word, pregnant, so Charles let it sit, nuzzling at Erik’s neck in the meantime. Finally, it came along. “I think I want to try heat suppressants.”

Charles nodded. Frankly, that was something of a relief. He thought Erik would be happier that way. Sure, there were high points of heats, but that hardly outweighed all the issues with them. “Okay.”

“I forget how bad it is until it happens again,” Erik grumbled, and Charles thought he knew how that felt. “And I always think I should be able to handle it, but I’m getting tired of it. I’m not in my twenties anymore. I could at least cut myself a break until we hit our midlife crises and think it’d be a good idea for me to go off them again.” Charles laughed at that, feeling inexplicably proud of Erik. “Besides, if we do adopt, this would be a pain in the ass to explain.”

“We’d better not tell Raven about it,” Charles joked, although Erik made a good point and the fact that he was talking about it more openly made Charles ridiculously hopeful. “I think she was looking forward to raking in the babysitting money.”

Erik laughed too, his breath warm against Charles’s skin. “I’ll tell her. You know me. I live to strain her as much as possible.”

Charles nipped lightly at Erik’s neck. “Play nice.”

Erik hummed noncommittally. “Anything else we want to get out in the open while we’re here….wherever the hell we are?”

That confirmed his theory of Erik having been out of it a little earlier. “You said you were cold, so I brought us here. Perfect place for a lively argument.”

Erik brought an arm up and shoved the blanket out of the way, allowing the sunlight to come blaring in. Charles whined and pressed his face against Erik’s chest.

“There,” Erik said seemingly satisfied with himself for blinding them both. He at least kept one arm firmly around Charles. “The first question still stands.”

“Well,” Charles began. “Now that you mention it, I was thinking about shaving my head a little while ago…”

Erik yanked the blanket back up over him, shoving him back into the darkness and trapping his laughter along with him.

xviii.

“Would you do it?” Erik asked. “If you were an omega I mean. I always sort of thought you would.”

Charles shot him a look, but it appeared to have been a serious question. Apparently this was something they talked about openly now. It was a little strange, but sort of nice, Charles supposed, thinking through his answer.

The quiet, constant rush of the shower made for some background noise, echoing around their bathroom which was steadily filling with steam. Erik’s heat really had subsided, seemingly, at least back to what it had been the first day. He wasn’t in any apparent pain and he seemed completely in control of himself. Certainly in control enough to roll Charles onto his back and take him slowly and thoroughly once more after they’d both pulled themselves together somewhat in the midst of the mess that was their bed. Charles had still clung to him and felt a little watery-eyed toward the end, but there was nothing to be done for it.

Afterwards, he’d proposed a shower and Erik had been quick to agree. It was nice to have autonomy immediately after sex again instead of having to wait around for some indiscriminate amount of time when they didn’t want to. Charles was in the process of shampooing Erik’s hair. He thought it was only fair since he’d been using it as a makeshift tissue earlier.

He was impressed by how well Erik was standing. His gait had been a little unsteady when they’d walked over, but the fact that he was able to stay upright like this was reassuring. Charles thought that it was only the warmth of the water on his sore muscles that was convincing _him_ that staying on his feet was worth the effort.

“I assume you mean have kids?” Charles hedged, signaling that Erik should bend a little further over so he could scrub and not at all so he could have a better vantage point to look at how the water ran down his body. “I don’t know. Being pregnant sounds nice in theory but kind of horrible in practice, and it’s especially difficult for male omegas. I don’t think I can say that I would or wouldn’t when I don’t even know what going through a heat feels like.”

There was a hand against his stomach suddenly, rubbing and squeezing there. If Charles was less exhausted he thought he might feel self-conscious, but as it was it only felt kind of nice, if a little ticklish. “I think you’d look wonderful, round and lovely.”

Charles scoffed and shoved his hand away. It was strange to think of himself like that. It wasn’t a thought he’d spent much time with considering its infeasibility. “If it’s round you want, I might be able to help you anyway.”

Unsupervised, the hand had travelled around, squeezing at his ass where it’d been denied before. Charles gave a cursory yelp. “I do like round,” Erik purred, and Charles wished he could find it more sleazy and less attractive.

To save face, Charles shoved him away, leaving him to finish his hair off himself which he did, rinsing off briefly. “Don’t press your luck.”

Erik slid up behind him, undeterred. He wrapped his arms around Charles, pressing their bodies together and Charles almost laughed. Usually at the end of a heat Erik wasn’t even remotely interested in sex for a least a few days, sometimes even a week. He didn’t feel the same need for such a period of celibacy, but it was generally better to let their muscles rest so they didn’t actually hurt themselves. To see him like this then was surprising, but enticing nonetheless. Far be it from Charles to rally against it.

“I don’t know,” he mumbled, bending so he could press his mouth against Charles’s neck. Charles leaned into it. Honestly, it was a bit nice to be held after a week of doing the holding. “Pressing my luck has done me well in the past.” His hands were drifting down lower, sliding along easily with the water to help them along, big and rough and warm over Charles’s skin, down to the apex of his thighs and his abdomen.

Charles couldn’t help but push back against him, arching his back. It was something about hearing that confident edge reemerge in Erik’s voice, the strength of his grip, how focused he was on Charles. It was knowing that this was a choice he was making, something he actually wanted rather than something his body was telling him he needed. “You could at least ask first,” Charles pointed out, breathless already but not really caring.

Erik’s hands migrated around his hips, down further to squeeze again. Charles could feel teeth right up underneath his jaw. “May I?”

“Yes,” Charles breathed immediately, unwilling to play coy when it was so blatantly untrue.

“Hands up against the wall.”

Charles obeyed, but only after he pushed the shower head to the side so the spray wouldn’t hit him in the face entire time. (He’d only made that mistake once.) Then Erik was sinking down, pulling his cheeks apart and leaning in to lick before Charles could even react. When he did, all he could manage was a choked off groan at the feeling of Erik’s tongue up against him.

“Erik,” he whined, pushing back against him already, curling his fingers against the complete lack of support the shower wall provided. Erik’s hands were steady on his thighs though, holding him still while he pressed more firmly against him.

God, Charles had missed this. Heat clouded his thoughts and he was happy to just not think for a while and let Erik work him, having had about enough of rational thought for one day.

xix.

It took the water going cold for the two of them to be chased out of the bathroom and back into the safety and warmth of their bedroom. It was mid-afternoon by that point, and Erik elected to rummage through the fridge for something more appealing than crackers. Charles braved the stairs meanwhile, hurrying down and back up to retrieve his phone and Erik’s while he was at it.

When he returned Erik was back on the bed, leaning up against the headboard, picking at an orange. Charles offered him his phone, but he only took it and set it to the side. “If I turn it on it’ll just buzz nonstop for an hour. It can do that tomorrow when I have a little more patience to spare for it.”

Charles didn’t comment on the irony of him not wanting to do work all of a sudden, only came when beckoned to sit cross-legged in front of Erik so he could dry his hair with a towel, thumbing at his phone in the meantime, mostly checking for any more news from Raven.

When he didn’t find anything, he opted to text her. [How’re you doing?]

He could feel Erik peering over his shoulder, but he didn’t bother to shield his screen, only moving when the towel fell into his line of sight to push it away. After a couple of seconds he received a reply.

(Ok)

(Seems a little early for you to be back from falling off the face of the earth.)

Charles didn’t know how else to convey what he wanted to without going into too much detail so he went for the option of typing out the motion he would have made had they been talking in person. [*shrug*]

Erik laughed at him quietly, rubbing more insistently at his scalp. “Don’t type out your actions like that. You’re not twelve.”

“What else am I supposed to do?” Charles demanded, frowning. “Stop backseat texting.” He didn’t really know what to say next, so he was pondering that when his phone was swiped out of his hands. Charles was frozen for a second in surprise before he spun to try and retrieve it, reaching unsuccessfully for where Erik was holding it away from him. “Erik!” he complained, concerned by how quickly Erik’s thumbs were moving on the keyboard.

He snatched for it a few more times to no avail. Erik finished whatever it was he was trying to accomplish and returned his phone with a self-satisfied grin. “There you go.”

Charles fumbled to look at the screen and found Erik had sent an incomprehensible string of emojis a few lines long. He scowled so he wouldn’t smile and hit at Erik’s shoulder. “What’s this even supposed to mean?” He hardly ever used those even though he found some of them charming because he didn’t really know what they meant and he’d been informed by Raven several times before that he was using them incorrectly.

The little dots that meant Raven was typing popped up almost immediately and Charles glared at Erik, scooching away from him. He didn’t get very far; Erik captured him once more easily enough, mostly because he had no real intention of going anywhere. He laughing again, ringing deep in his chest. Charles couldn’t help but love the sound. “I’m helping you.”

“I don’t know about that…” Charles grumbled even as he acquiesced to allowing Erik to take back up his task.

(I don’t even want to know what that’s supposed to mean but I guess I’m happy for you?)

[Sorry Erik took my phone. I don’t know what it means either.]

(I’d say likely story but since you don’t even know how to switch back to the normal keyboard from the emoji one without getting there accidentally I’ll give you a pass.)

Erik snorted and Charles ignored him, glad to be cleared from guilt for the time being. [How are things with you?] he typed, wanting to get to the point of him having texted in the first place.

There was that pause again. Charles sighed and Erik tossed the towel aside, apparently finished and more focused on the conversation now.

(Not much better) Raven finally replied.

(We still haven’t really talked about it)

Charles pressed his lips together, his fingers hovering over the keys. He wasn’t quite sure how he wanted to approach this. He didn’t end up having to decide because there were arms wrapping around his shoulders and Erik was leaning over him, pulling the phone away again. “Let me.”

Charles let him have it, leaning up against his chest. “Tell her it’s you at least.”

“She seems to be able to tell the difference but alright,” Erik said wryly and Charles elbowed at him lightly for it.

[This is Erik again]

(Why do you have Charles’s phone? Don’t you have your own?)

[His is closer. I took it with consent this time if that makes you feel better.]

Raven sent back an emoji that was rolling its eyes. (Prove it’s you)

Erik replied with a couple more emojis of his own. Charles let it play out, amused by the interaction.

(Fine. Did you need something?)

[I heard about you and Destiny and thought maybe I could help.]

A pause, then, (Ok….)

[It’s hard when a partner wants you to move in with them when you’re not ready for it, especially when you really do like them. It was that way with Charles and me too.]

“Charles and _I_ ,” Charles corrected automatically. All it earned him was a scoff.

(I sort of remember that. Charles was whining about it to me at one point)

Charles frowned, having half a mind to grab the phone back and say something in his own defense, but he resisted, not wanting to interrupt. He could tell her off for the comment later.

[Not too surprising. It took me a long time to cave in. I liked having my own space. I paid for my apartment myself and I was proud of it. It’d taken me a long time to get to that point.]

(Right? She doesn’t get that. It drives me crazy can’t she just be with me sometimes and let me have my space the rest of the time? We don’t have to be together all the time)

Charles was impressed by how quickly Erik had got her venting like that. It’d taken him a little while to get her to that point the other day. When he glanced up he found Erik was, oddly, smiling.

“Remind you of someone?” Charles asked and Erik’s smile grew a little lopsided.

[You definitely don’t, but she’s not doing it because she’s trying to impose, or at least she’s probably not. She doesn’t understand that you need that space. That can be a difficult thing to tell a partner, but it’s better to do it now than leave it until later. I’d start there if I were you. Explain that you need that time, and that you like your own apartment because you earned it.]

That was exactly where Erik had started, actually. Charles really hadn’t understood at the time, but he’d been glad for an explanation. He’d read up on it some and well, Erik could be introverted so it made sense. It was nice to know there was a reason outside of not wanting to be around him.

“Tell her to make sure she tells Destiny that it’s not about her specifically,” Charles suggested, speaking from his own experience. “It might not help, but it won’t hurt.”

Erik added that on.

There was another pause before Raven started typing again. (Okay, so say this works. Then what? It has to happen eventually and idk if I want that)

Erik paused for a second, probably thinking, then got back to it, typing as efficiently as ever. [It’s up to you at that point. If you’re not ready, you’re not ready. If the two of you are at different points in your lives, then you might be better off parting ways. You shouldn’t compromise yourself or your feelings to maintain a relationship that’s not mutually beneficial.]

Charles bit at the inside of his cheek so he wouldn’t say anything. Realistically that was good advice but it was difficult in practice. Erik was good at it, but he wasn’t so sure it’d be that easy for Raven. He’d maybe have to talk to her about that later, supplement this talk. He set one of his hands on Erik’s thigh anyway, rubbing up and down lightly, to encourage him to keep going, grateful to see how seriously he was taking this.

[If you’re not sure, try it out. Ease into it. Let her stay over every once in a while for more than one night. You’ll either start not minding it or you’ll see that you don’t want that right now. Give it some time. I think if she sees you trying, that’ll be enough.]

[Do what feels right. If you don’t know, give it a go. See what happens. If she’s anything like your brother she’ll leave her things around so much that you’ll eventually forget what it was like for them to not be there in the first place. At that point you might as well reap the benefits of having her around whenever you want, if you’re going to put up with that anyway.]

Charles found himself biting back a smile again, watching Erik work his magic. He really was good at giving advice, straight-forward and willing to be honest even if it hurt.

There was another pause, but it was briefer. (Ok. That makes sense)

(That seems like a good idea)

The dots bubbled up for a few long seconds before the third message came. (That makes me feel better tbh. Thank you)

[My pleasure. I’d talk to her sooner rather than later. Let me know how it goes if you want]

Charles did snatch his phone back then. [Me too!] Erik laughed at him again.

(Can you two please just use your own phones? It’s confusing)

(But okay. I have a report to write so I’ll talk to you later)

[Alright. Good luck with everything] Charles typed back at a considerably slower pace, but he got through it eventually and that was what mattered. After he was finished he clicked the phone off and set it to the side, turning to fix Erik with a softer smile.

“Thank you,” he said. “I think you really helped her.”

Erik avoided his eyes, looking off toward the side of the bed, but his lips curled up as well. “I guess we’ll see what happens.”

Charles couldn’t help but lean up to kiss him, twisting around to make it a little easier, reaching up to wrap his arms back around Erik’s neck. Erik leaned into the kiss, made a noise low in his throat that made Charles shiver. Erik moved to cling to him as well and Charles pulled back to kiss at the side of his mouth, deciding to be brave and continue on to make his larger point. “It’s seeing you do things like this that makes me certain you’ll be a wonderful father.”

You will, not you would. That was the dangerous part.

Charles pulled back a little to see how his taking that risk that turned out. It had gone over seemingly well. Erik was looking back at him, and there was something bright in his eyes. Something fluttered in Charles’s chest when he wasn’t corrected or pushed away. It was a little different from hope, he thought, because this felt much more certain, much more likely to actually become reality.

“If that’s the case, you’re going to be the sort of father who embarrasses his kids with his inability to text properly,” Erik replied, the soft shape of his mouth curling into something more mischievous.

Charles feigned offense, probably horribly because his excitement for the future was a little overwhelming at the moment. “Guess you’ll have to teach me that too.”

“Only if you ask nicely.” Erik kissed him again, deeper, pressing up against him more frantically than he had been for a while. Charles thought he could smell his arousal building again, dark and smoky. He was right seemingly because after a few seconds Erik pulled back and pushed his nose under his jaw. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but I think I want you to fuck me one more time.”

Charles laughed in surprise, but his body was already ahead of him, apparently prepared for this last small wave of heat where he wasn’t, sending his blood rushing down. “Don’t worry. We can have sex the old fashioned way, where we’re only doing it to get off.”

Erik rolled his eyes even as he was shifting to lay back down flat on the mattress. Charles moved to let him situate himself the way he wanted before he got a hand back between his legs. He wasn’t going to be soaking through anymore sheets, but Charles thought he was still slick enough that this would go alright, and certainly slick enough to justify needing this one last time.

Charles slotted their mouths back together as he got back into position. Erik let his legs splay around his hips easily enough, much more relaxed like this than he had been when he was up on his knees. They both groaned when he pressed back inside. Surrounded again by familiar grip of Erik’s body Charles thought where he hadn’t before that he could manage one more knot.

“This might be the last time you get to do this,” Erik announced, reaching up to wrap his arms back around Charles’s neck. “So you should probably make it count.”

He had a point, and Charles planned to, thrusting deep into Erik for no greater reason beyond the pure pleasure of doing so.

xx. (epilogue, five days later)

“I don’t even know how adoption works,” Raven admitted, sipping at her tea.

“It’ll be a learning process for all of us I think,” Charles said, glancing over at Erik who had opted for coffee. He looked a little less exhausted than he had the first couple of days back, though it was worth noting that underneath his turtleneck some of the marks on his skin were still visible, and would be completely telling were he to let anyone else see them.

“It’ll probably take some time,” Erik pointed out, his voice clear even through the general din of the coffee shop they were currently in. “But we’d wanted to let you know what we were thinking.”

Raven nodded and offered both of them a smile. “It’s about time! I’ve wanted to be an aunt for _years_ and you guys kept crushing my dream by not getting on with it.”

Erik sighed. “You’re worse than him.”

Raven made a face at him and Charles could tell he was trying not to smile. “Well, keep me in the loop.”

“Of course,” Charles assured her. Everyone’s responses thus far had been exceedingly positive toward their decision—Moira’s too, although she had first accused him of seeking out other excuses to get out of doing his work (which he supposed he deserved) before she went on to congratulate them—and he was grateful for it. He knew Erik was too, even if he was hiding it a little better.

There was another pause where Raven bit at her lip and nursed her tea. He recognized that she had something to say and waited. Erik appeared to sense it too and sipped at his own drink.

“Destiny and I have been talking,” she eventually confessed, looking down at the table. Charles worried that wasn’t a good sign, but he held his tongue, trying not to jump to conclusions. Erik moving his hand over to his knee to squeeze didn’t hurt either, helping to steady him. “I told her what you said, about needing space sometimes. I don’t think she really gets it, but it at least got us talking again. We decided that we’d try staying three days at each other’s places off and on, and see how it goes. That made her happy I think. She’s actually over right now, but she was busy with a project so she couldn’t come.”

Relief flooded through Charles. “That’s great, Raven,” he encouraged. “Good for you.”

“How do you feel about it?” Erik asked, nonchalant as ever even as he posed what was probably a pivotal question.

Raven’s eyes drifted back up to flick between them and the corners of her lips curved up slightly. Charles thought she had that sort of far-away look in her eyes she got sometimes when she talked about the other woman. She shrugged. “I guess I’m waiting to see, but I’m…pretty okay with it so far.”

“That’s good,” Erik said, his voice still even, though Charles could tell by the strategic way he lifted his cup to his lips afterward that he was hiding a grin of his own.

Charles managed to catch his eyes and give him a knowing look.

“You _were_ right about something else,” Raven continued, either oblivious to their eye contact or choosing to ignore it. “She’s already leaving her clothes all over my apartment. I got a text from her yesterday, ‘Raven have you seen my sweatshirt?’ and it was in my closet! It’s ridiculous.”

It was Erik’s turn to give Charles a knowing look. Warmth bloomed in his chest and he flicked his eyes away as well, down to the steam rising up from his cup, but he didn’t bother to hide his own smile.


End file.
